Dating for drunks: tips/how to's
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
Re: Dating Advice
Wow, this derailed quickly.
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
GFYCMD- Go Fuck Yourself, Captain Mike Davis.
GFYCMD- Go Fuck Yourself, Captain Mike Davis.
Re: Dating Advice
I would love to sit in a bar with Mojo.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
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Re: Dating Advice
+1.Patchez wrote:I would love to sit in a bar with Mojo.
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Re: Dating Advice
Why am I reading a 5 year old thread?
Why?
The link doesn't even work! Even if it did, I wouldn't care!
Why?
The link doesn't even work! Even if it did, I wouldn't care!
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Re: Dating Advice
I was puzzled to see this thread, that I have no recollection of creating, appear again as well.
"You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to." - A.J.S.
#39
#39
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Re: Dating Advice
Remember that chick that was going to shovel her way to Rip Rufus' ballsack?
That was great
That was great
"To avoid criticism: Do nothing, Say nothing, Be nothing" - Fred Shero
"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk
"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk
Re: Dating Advice
Fat girls rock!
it's the skinny ones who are mental.
it's the skinny ones who are mental.
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Re: Dating Advice
Those were the days. Now look at me. Today I had to iron napkins before we eat dinner.coqui_chris wrote:Remember that chick that was going to shovel her way to Rip Rufus' ballsack?
That was great
"You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to." - A.J.S.
#39
#39
- coqui_chris
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Re: Dating Advice
Beats shitty diapersRip Rufus wrote:Those were the days. Now look at me. Today I had to iron napkins before we eat dinner.coqui_chris wrote:Remember that chick that was going to shovel her way to Rip Rufus' ballsack?
That was great
"To avoid criticism: Do nothing, Say nothing, Be nothing" - Fred Shero
"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk
"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk
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Re: Dating Advice
What worse - shitty diapers or angsty 16-year-old boy?
"You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to." - A.J.S.
#39
#39
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Dating for drunks: tips/how to's
I had quite an interesting thought - some of us are quite young and single. Some are even extremely sexy (oettinger comes to mind). How does drinking lifestyle affects relationship/human interactions? How do you date? Who do you date? Is there rule of thumb in drunk dating?(for male members - avoid adam's apple on female look alike) Any input could be really... Entertaining!
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's
Well, my perverse Lithuanian friend, since you have cast a number of nets to the sea without offering any of your own pearls of wisdom, I suppose we'll have to do with some of my chum.
* First of all, lower your standards. Yeah, like you're some sort of David Hasselhoff yourself. You can't spell home without homely, and that's exactly where you'll be taking her if you play your cards right.
* Try to remeber how you picked up the last trashy broad so you can use your loser tactics on the next one.
* As a general rule, the amber liquors make your prospective date look more alluring, but are also prone to contribute to acute flacid love missle and other stupor related conditions.
* Bible chicks are NOT cool, bro.
* Practice all your slick moves and pick-up lines on dad's new girlfriend after he passes out. This one's a cocktail waitress!
* First of all, lower your standards. Yeah, like you're some sort of David Hasselhoff yourself. You can't spell home without homely, and that's exactly where you'll be taking her if you play your cards right.
* Try to remeber how you picked up the last trashy broad so you can use your loser tactics on the next one.
* As a general rule, the amber liquors make your prospective date look more alluring, but are also prone to contribute to acute flacid love missle and other stupor related conditions.
* Bible chicks are NOT cool, bro.
* Practice all your slick moves and pick-up lines on dad's new girlfriend after he passes out. This one's a cocktail waitress!
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- oldsmartskunk
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's
All my pointers came from real life. Trial and error. And being an asshole! I said and did all that crap at some point in my life!
* Never hit on your date's younger sister. (it was worth it)
* Never hit on your friends younger sister ( i would do it again and i did it again during his wedding)
* If by a slim chance your date's father is a long distance truck driver DON'T hit her with a truth ( your daddy probably knows all hookers throughout the Europe/he likely has hemorrhoids so huge Japanese people mistake it for godzilla and start running)
* Slapping a woman with a whiskey dick is not a turn on. However, brushing it gently against her lips is ( she was a psycho)
* Beer is not a good lubricant (you will end up running with your pants down while being chased by a woman whose name you can't remember)
* Don't tell daddy jokes (my favorites are "you father is a vampire hunter armed with wooden dildos" or "your father usually wakes family up by frying some eggs - putting his testicles on a hot frying pan then running around naked and screaming)
Some of these offended random women across my path of destruction and self loathing, others pissed of girls i was dating.
* Bible chicks are cool. Crack that one open and you will get yourself a treat of your life. Especially those crazy jehova's witnesses.
And how the hell am i perverse? I haven't met a single human being who is more pure than me!
* Never hit on your date's younger sister. (it was worth it)
* Never hit on your friends younger sister ( i would do it again and i did it again during his wedding)
* If by a slim chance your date's father is a long distance truck driver DON'T hit her with a truth ( your daddy probably knows all hookers throughout the Europe/he likely has hemorrhoids so huge Japanese people mistake it for godzilla and start running)
* Slapping a woman with a whiskey dick is not a turn on. However, brushing it gently against her lips is ( she was a psycho)
* Beer is not a good lubricant (you will end up running with your pants down while being chased by a woman whose name you can't remember)
* Don't tell daddy jokes (my favorites are "you father is a vampire hunter armed with wooden dildos" or "your father usually wakes family up by frying some eggs - putting his testicles on a hot frying pan then running around naked and screaming)
Some of these offended random women across my path of destruction and self loathing, others pissed of girls i was dating.
* Bible chicks are cool. Crack that one open and you will get yourself a treat of your life. Especially those crazy jehova's witnesses.
And how the hell am i perverse? I haven't met a single human being who is more pure than me!
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's
My friend RIPT says that, for him, that is a good sign.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's
THA'S WHAT SHE SAID!Any input could be really... Entertaining!
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"