Best Keanu Reeves line ever, from River's Edge, 1986: "The only reason you stay here is so you can fuck my mother and eat her food. MOTHERFUCKER. FOOD EATER"
Back then we all thought that dumb, dull, droning idiot was the way the character was written. Then, there was the Bill and Ted movies. Same thing. Now, 21 years later, we realize that Keanu Reeves is just a dumb, dull, droning idiot.
Best Keanu Reeves line ever, from River's Edge, 1986: "The only reason you stay here is so you can fuck my mother and eat her food. MOTHERFUCKER. FOOD EATER"
Back then we all thought that dumb, dull, droning idiot was the way the character was written. Then, there was the Bill and Ted movies. Same thing. Now, 21 years later, we realize that Keanu Reeves is just a dumb, dull, droning idiot.
Looky here you ignorant slut. Stop denying your feelings for Keanu. Frankennz summed it up for you in a nutshell.
You ever hear that deep shit about hate not being the opposite of love? According to this wisdom, apathy is the opposite of love and love is the answer. idn't it.
You must embrace the hairy asscrack.
Become one with the hairy asscrack.
Only through the hairy asscrack will you find solace.
Only in the hairy asscrack can you merge with the universal stink.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
I also hate the fact that they turned my local White Castle into a Tim Horton's. Even though White Castle sucked and you couldn't eat more than 10 Belly Bombers without getting physically ill.
* Sex In The City (all of them, especially Parker)
* Barry Manilow (all of them, especially Manilow)
Fucking Canadians and their jelly donuts!
Totally agree and especially with the especially's.
Sadly, (or embarassingly?) we still know which ones to hate in these shows (albeit, Schwimmer is the annoying whiner) Aniston is in the running because she's like the Parker of Friends and for other aforementioned reasons.
The land of Canadia can take back their jelly donuts and instead- Horton's, perhaps make it right by offering a nice poutine or something equally gut bombing. "Especially" after a long night of, well, drinkin' and stuff.
Shit hating right now:
*Snapchat and everyone who does it.
*Those shows on TV like Tiny People of L.A. and Atlanta or whatever it's called about female midget people's drama.
Viking: Feminine hygiene products that end up in the toliet.
Oettz: The Arquette family
Curtsosey of Badfellow: Massengil douche and Sean Penn, Wait, isn't that the same thing?!
Last edited by Artful Drunktective on Sat May 06, 2017 1:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
And I have the letters HATE embroidered onto the svelte ass cheeks of my sweat pants too, which I hate.
drink, smoke, piss, drink again
Wait...
Are we still hating?
Because if we are, Jimmy Fallon has never really done me any favors in the ain't-a-hater category. What a smarmy sperm job!
And that Tina Fey? Oy vey! She reminds me of a kosher ham!
A. Your very svelte ass and all things embedded, embroidered, tattooed and what have you on it is NOT on our hate list.
B. We are always hating. Thank you for your support.
C. Agreed. Although a lot of gold came from it...sorta over a lot SNL people. Again...Adam Sandler. 'nuff said
Last edited by Artful Drunktective on Sat May 06, 2017 2:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
I lost contact with those people from high school for a reason: They weren't friends.
I don't care about their stupid trip to Alaska and I don't want to see a slide show of them holding a fruity cocktail on a ship.
They have ugly kids and I can't even tell what sport they play as fat mom and creepy dad pose at a pizza party for their "everyone gets a trophy" award ceremony.
I don't want to see them open presents on Christmas.
I don't want to see "Throwback Thursday" pictures from high school. I was there. It wasn't as fun as they think.
I don't want to see photos of them having a cookout in their backyard. It only serves to make me think they should have cut the grass and neutered the dog.
Oh great, you got a new car? Fuck off
Hey facebookers. You are becoming Guy Montag's Millie. Get a real life.
