My New House

[scream ale]

That's the urinal. The sink is downstairs.

[Patchez]

Pro tip: Bidets can double as drinking fountains.

[mistah willies]

Hey, I just found a round room with no urinals.

Is this some sort of punchline?

[Badfellow]

Hey, I just found a round room with no urinals.

Is this some sort of punchbowl?

In ancient Rome, they called it the pissatorium.

[RIPT2.0]

Well, the joke is on you guys. I just called my contractor and told him that I also want a wet bar in every room, including the bathroom!

[Badfellow]

The velvet painting of dogs playing poker is a nice touch.

[RIPT2.0]

I was thinking about adding a carousel on my front lawn where each little horse has a beer tap sprouting from the back of it's head. I'm not sure code enforcement will agree with this, although I promised them it will be fenced in with strict security, but am I going overboard here?

[oettinger]

So far it looks like a double top trailer

[Badfellow]

The carousel idea is cool. Maybe replace the horses with razor sharp blades that whirl at random and loud speakers playing 80's heavy metal. And lots of toxic grunge laying around with mutant rattlers slithering in the junkyard and drinks so strong they eat a hole through steel.

[RIPT2.0]

My neighbors are going to love me!

[mistah willies]

My neighbors are going to love me!

I'll help you dig them up from your backyard to make sure.
Is that why you're known locally as Sammy Spade?

[RIPT2.0]

Actually, I'm known around town as "The Hammer", and that's not because I dance funny and wear funny clothes. And please, don't ask if you can touch this.

[Badfellow]

Actually, I'm known around town as "The Pudhammer", and that's not because I walk funny and wear a ball bra. I can knock out a grizzly bear with one swing of my massive genital bludgeon.

Indeed.

[mistah willies]

Actually, I'm known around town as "The Pudhammer", and that's not because I walk funny and wear a ball bra. I can knock out a grizzly bear with one swing of my massive genital bludgeon.

Indeed.

Oddly enough, them Texan grizzlies he keeps in the back yard? Yeah, now there's cubs back there and the male ones are sporting wood that would make a donkey go Hee-Haw.

But you should see the golf links. Solid 9. Coming back on it the the other way has these keg taps in the tree trunks that you didn't notice the first pass.

Duuuude.

[Badfellow]

Hey, I wants me a ranch in Texass. Not quite in the panhandle, maybe more toward the taintlands, but not as hot and itchy as Dallas/Ft. Worthless.

And we need dune buggies with machine guns. Or at very least golf carts with shotguns and liquor. And prostitutes. Let's not forget the crack whores. Mucho crack whores.