Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

That's right. You can put them right here.

Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

All cracker and cheese lovers of America (among lovers of other things), please join in a toast in appreciation for the things you lucky bastages have that many of us are deprived of. If it weren't for drinking, I'd almost have no reason to live anymore.

CHEEZ-IT 12.4oz - From United States
EUR 13.85 + EUR 39,98 shipping

2-Kraft Velveeta Cheese Original 32oz -Brand new - From United States
EUR 18.17 + EUR 67,61 shipping

2 x Hidden Valley Original Ranch Salad Dressing & Seasoning Mix 8 OZ gluten free - Brand new - From United States
EUR 20.96 + EUR 50,54 shipping

Triscuit Original Cracker made with sea salt 8.5 OZ box, 100% whole grain wheat - Brand new - From United States
EUR 8.08 + EUR 16,22 shipping

6 boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Dinner Original Flavor 7.25oz each - Brand new - From United States
EUR 11.08 + EUR 55,16 shipping

Thankfully the shipping has "Customs clearance service and international tracking included" Whew! 'cause I was hoping there'd be additional shipping costs.
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Badfellow »

€13.85 for a box of CHEEZ-ITs? That, sister, is financial rape.

Alright, we're going to crowd fund a project to fill a shipping container full of delicious American junk foods and hold a protest in front of the Volkeshalle or wherever it is Merkel lives. An eat-in, as it were. We could get Chicken In A Biskit and Cheez Whiz as sponsors of the revolution. The streets will flow with Hidden Valley Ranch Buttermilk dressing!
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

^ ^ ^ And you forgot the EUR 39,98 cost to ship it. I think in 'Murrica that is called "HIGHWAY ROBBERY!"

If I was in 'Murrica, I could file a lawsuit for pain and suffering being deprived (and financially robbed) of such things. *sobs*
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by scream ale »

55.16 euro to ship 6 boxes of mac and cheese? Sweet jaysus!

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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by oettinger »

scream ale wrote:
Fri Apr 24, 2020 12:19 pm
55.16 euro to ship 6 boxes of mac and cheese? Sweet jaysus!
For each cracker a piece
Drink!
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Mail order brides cost less shipping than this.
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Badfellow »

In Russia, it's tradition to bribe the parents of the bride with boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese. It's the cheesiest.
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

^ ^ ^ Russian bride's parents need bribing? I thought they just gave them away, maybe along with a few voucher's to take her out to a smörgåsbord buffet or something before she's sold into human trafficking. Perhaps someone's expertise from the mail order Russian brides thread can shed light on that.

I think the worst thing about all this is that it emphasized my embarrassing priorities of what I miss from 'Murrica.

American crackers and cheeses...where for art thou? How I miss thee!
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Malibu Laurie »

Aren't you like, a murrican mail order bride?

I'll send ya some crackers, dude.
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Badfellow »

Malibu Laurie wrote:
Sat Apr 25, 2020 2:29 am
Aren't you like, a murrican mail order bride?

I'll send ya some crackers, dude.
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by scream ale »

Pine River port wine cold pack cheese food on saltines. Good stuff.

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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by oettinger »

scream ale wrote:
Sat May 09, 2020 8:29 am
Pine River port wine cold pack cheese food on saltines. Good stuff.
Doesn`t even CRACK my top ten
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

scream ale wrote:
Sat May 09, 2020 8:29 am
Pine River port wine cold pack cheese food on saltines. Good stuff.

LOVE port wine. Twas a favorite snack of mine growing up with Wheat Thins until I discovered the magnificence of Triscuits. I can see why port wine isn't for everyone though. Especially Germans since they only acknowledge one cheese: GOUDA.


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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

QUESO! Specifically the blanca pictured. (but in all actuality, ALL OF THEM!) Lactose intolerance is not an option. I would beg to be promptly euthanized if that were the case. My life would be meaningless.

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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by oettinger »

Real cheese, not even close
Drink!
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