Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

That's right. You can put them right here.

Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator

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scream ale
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by scream ale »

I need more rotel dip in my life.

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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Patchez »

Real cheese all the way.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by scream ale »

Working real cheese into the Rotel dip could be worth trying.

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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Badfellow »

The fact that one of the choices is "real cheese" means the other four choices are "fake cheese" by default. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but let's be real here.

scream ale wrote:
Sun May 17, 2020 9:38 am
Working real cheese into the Rotel dip could be worth trying.
Just a little blue cheese in there with some diced up pickled jalapeño. Bomb diggity good.
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

scream ale wrote:
Sun May 17, 2020 9:38 am
Working real cheese into the Rotel dip could be worth trying.
Oett makes his own cheese sauce always and it is amazing. Usually it's gouda - of course - but we have it with tortellini, casseroles... anything you want with liquid cheese goodness.
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

I'm Rotel dips biggest fan in every way, shape, & form. I think this was mentioned previously but it was even more awesome when I could find the white Velveeta. The best however, is Rotel with cream cheese, sour cream, and crumbled Jimmy Dean HOT sausage. Your friends will think you're an effing rock star if you broke that out along side some tortilla chips for drunk munchies.
Especially if there was a random bag of blue corn chips in the mix to really class it up.
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Patchez »

Skip the Jimmy Dean and add chorizo .
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Patchez wrote:
Sat May 23, 2020 5:50 am
Skip the Jimmy Dean and add chorizo .
MIND BLOWN! YESSIR INDEED!
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

She is my twin on so many levels. (He is not like oett though...in any way, shape, or form). American food not in Germany
This is especially for Badfellow because he gets it. (Funny how many things reference to my quote below). I wasn't exaggerating!


Artful Drunktective wrote:
Fri Apr 24, 2020 1:14 am
All cracker and cheese lovers of America (among lovers of other things), please join in a toast in appreciation for the things you lucky bastages have that many of us are deprived of. If it weren't for drinking, I'd almost have no reason to live anymore.

CHEEZ-IT 12.4oz - From United States
EUR 13.85 + EUR 39,98 shipping

2 x Hidden Valley Original Ranch Salad Dressing & Seasoning Mix 8 OZ gluten free - Brand new - From United States
EUR 20.96 + EUR 50,54 shipping

6 boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Dinner Original Flavor 7.25oz each - Brand new - From United States
EUR 11.08 + EUR 55,16 shipping
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by scream ale »

It's not crackers, cheese or meat but I recently found Utz jalapeno kettle chips. They don't even really have much of a jalapeno taste but they are damn tasty kettle chips.

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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Savage »

I make a really good garlic cheese for crackers. Goes well with bourbon.
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Badfellow »

Savage wrote:
Tue Jun 09, 2020 9:35 pm
I make a really good garlic cheese for crackers. Goes well with bourbon.
Wait, you're making your own cheese? Cheers, a new level of respect for you if such is the case.

It's not that cheese making is exceedingly difficult. But it does take love and attention to detail. And milk. Lots and lots of milk. A curd press would also be helpful.
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Badfellow »

Cheese... reminds me of a girl I was dating in high school. And no, not in the way she smelled either.

She lived out in the country, a thirty minute drive each way that I didn't mind making as she was quite the venutian beauty and add to that a bit of a tigress.

Her father didn't care for me one bit. Nor do I blame him. Not quite a Mennonite, he was a starch collared dairy farmer with the whole Reagan/Bush ramrod shoved full flush up his ass, and me some "punk rock mutt piece of shit" sniffing after his daughter. He and I had the most interesting and awkward discussions.

But the guy made cheese. Oh, and how that uptight bastard made the most exquisite of cheese. Cow, goat and sheep. He even pressed blocks of cheddar, coated them in wax and aged them in his cellar.

Though the best by far was a fresh product generically called "farmers cheese" which he made from sheep milk in the spring. Soft and spreadable, almost like a brie but a little more firm and the flavor so decadently creamy as to make heaven bloom upon thy earthly palette.

How was I to tell this fellow that the cheese he crafted was better even than freaky hayloft sex with his daughter?
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Badfellow wrote:
Wed Jun 10, 2020 5:48 pm
Savage wrote:
Tue Jun 09, 2020 9:35 pm
I make a really good garlic cheese for crackers. Goes well with bourbon.
A curd press would also be helpful.
She could borrow yours. You got one for your homemade cheese curds, don't ya, eh?
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Badfellow wrote:
Wed Jun 10, 2020 6:17 pm

How was I to tell this fellow that the cheese he crafted was better even than freaky hayloft sex with his daughter?
Cheese and freaky hayloft sex?? Sounds like the perfect date for me.

Wait, are you talkin' about my dad?!
Okole maluna!

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