Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
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- whiskeyprick
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
after the 2 hour(usually 20min) drive home from yesterday with no cigs(my bad) I extinguished all the lunch meat with whatever crackers in the house when I finally got home.
Gambling is a disease, but it's the only one you can win a ton of money for having - Norm Macdonald
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
Sandwich crackers? Yay or Nay? I've said it before and I say it again...YAY! Cheese & PB were my fave.
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Okole maluna!
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- scream ale
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
I've never seen the cream cheese and chives packs.
I feel cheated now.
I feel cheated now.
Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
Cream cheese and chive and the Wheat n Cheddar are pretty on point for drunchies.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
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Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
None of these flavors BTW are available in Germany. Damn you Lance crackers and your disgusting drunchie deliciousness!
Okole maluna!
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- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
scream ale wrote: ↑Fri Nov 06, 2020 1:45 pmI've never seen the cream cheese and chives packs.
I feel cheated now.
You should feel cheated. Because they are delectable. I certainly feel cheated right now.
Okole maluna!
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- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
As I was vacuuming around my computer and lounge area today, I heard an enormous (and disturbing) amount of cracker crumbs being sucked up. And it was all in the vicinity in which I spend my days and nowhere else in the house so I am clearly the only culprit. I wondered if it was because I eat a lot of crackers or because I am just one lazy, slovenly, shitbag. Just picture a female Dude with a cocktail and a box of crackers, if you will.
I reflected on the numerous crackers that I had dined on in the past week (in no particular order- Cheez-Its, cheddar-blasted Goldfish, and Saltines- with pb&j although I ate some plain- and it occurred to me that yeah I eat a shit ton of crackers AND yeah evidently I AM a slob. I'm feeling a bit sheepish by this realization!
On a lighter note I was watching some "Good Mythical Morning" clips on YouTube while eatin' said crackers where Rhett and Link have a cracker taste off to decide which cracker is better with soup and then where they taste test several brands of crackers and try to determine which is the "brand name" cracker and not a knock-off.
These guys gross multi millions a year doing stuff like eatin' crackers! This was an epiphany and I think I found my calling. I must become a YouTuber and share with the world my knowledge of crackers and other foods, but unlike them, I would be wasted. I would enlist fellow drunkard Badfellow to be my partner in crime (aside from the obvious fact that he is a fellow cracker connoisseur, we have tons of fun together) and we could drunkenly eat and critique all kinds of food. There's a lot of people out there doing this already...so what is stopping us from capitalizing on the fun? If I were to accomplish this, I wouldn't feel so ashamed of my heedless diet and lifestyle and instead, attribute it to product research and make money while doing it.
This will never happen BTW. But it's fun to dream about making money off of eatin' crackers.
I reflected on the numerous crackers that I had dined on in the past week (in no particular order- Cheez-Its, cheddar-blasted Goldfish, and Saltines- with pb&j although I ate some plain- and it occurred to me that yeah I eat a shit ton of crackers AND yeah evidently I AM a slob. I'm feeling a bit sheepish by this realization!
On a lighter note I was watching some "Good Mythical Morning" clips on YouTube while eatin' said crackers where Rhett and Link have a cracker taste off to decide which cracker is better with soup and then where they taste test several brands of crackers and try to determine which is the "brand name" cracker and not a knock-off.
These guys gross multi millions a year doing stuff like eatin' crackers! This was an epiphany and I think I found my calling. I must become a YouTuber and share with the world my knowledge of crackers and other foods, but unlike them, I would be wasted. I would enlist fellow drunkard Badfellow to be my partner in crime (aside from the obvious fact that he is a fellow cracker connoisseur, we have tons of fun together) and we could drunkenly eat and critique all kinds of food. There's a lot of people out there doing this already...so what is stopping us from capitalizing on the fun? If I were to accomplish this, I wouldn't feel so ashamed of my heedless diet and lifestyle and instead, attribute it to product research and make money while doing it.
This will never happen BTW. But it's fun to dream about making money off of eatin' crackers.
Okole maluna!
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- Badfellow
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
I’m down with the cause. Make money by drinking? That IS the dream.
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- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
^ ^ ^ I am down with SPAM anything and it is always a delicious highlight to the day when it makes an appearance.
Okole maluna!
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- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
So you cracker eaters know I complain often about how Germany does not have the awesome cracker selection like 'murrica does. There's about three brands of crackers to choose from mixed in the chip aisle. Welp there is this one brand called TUC that originated in Belgium that ranks high in the cracker competition. They have several flavors but recently I discovered the sour cream n' onion flavor...which isn't even my favorite flavor of salty snacks- even when it comes to Lay's tater chips. But I must admit I was pleasantly surprised and I am giving credit where credit is due. Good job Germany, for in your paltry cracker section, you carry these deliciously seasoned buttery tasty treats. I am thoroughly impressed and they made the top 10 on my cracker list. Evidently TUC are also part of Mondelez Int'l (which also includes Chips Ahoy!, Oreo, Ritz, and Triscuits, among many other things) so if you stumble upon these in your quest for salty snacks, pick some up, you won't be disappointed.
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Okole maluna!
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- Inebriate Savant
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
Jarlsberg, Blue, Goda, hell most cheeses for that matter
- Badfellow
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Re: Official thread of crackers, cheeses and meats, oh my
In the future, Mondelēz will own all crackers. Depending upon your party loyalties and assigned social status, the following choices will be the only ones available in a gray, dystopian world void of joy or any cracker hope:
*Slug Crisps - available in Rancid Original, Napalm BBQ or Sour Feet n’ Bunion flavors
*Trying 2B A Biskit - you can put things on it
*Sleaze-Its - infuriatingly small crackers flavored with mock cheese product from the torula yeast slave farms of Mindanao
*Ritzy Shitz - essentially the same cracker eaten by the poor but in much finer packaging
*Slug Crisps - available in Rancid Original, Napalm BBQ or Sour Feet n’ Bunion flavors
*Trying 2B A Biskit - you can put things on it
*Sleaze-Its - infuriatingly small crackers flavored with mock cheese product from the torula yeast slave farms of Mindanao
*Ritzy Shitz - essentially the same cracker eaten by the poor but in much finer packaging
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ