Beans, beans, the magical fruit. Post it here!

[oettinger]

This reminds me, I have to go to the grocery store Madame Flodder style

[Badfellow]

Beans, maize, and gourds.

Plant them next to each other.

Maize has the tall stalks to give rise to them creeper vines of them beans, and squash has the pricklies on their own vines to keep animals away.

Damn that is profound and very freakin cool. They provide a fairly balanced diet of protein and carbohydrates, especially when the hunting parties might fail to bring in game or when a winter went from bad to worse. It's interesting to note that a number of native cultures of N. America evolved highly efficient agricultural systems completely independent from those of Eurasia, especially amongst the developed tribes of the eastern part of the continent. So to speak, they were the nation's first organic gardeners.

Dried beans in pure water will being to germinate.

I've started scarlet runners and Hutterite soup beans for the garden this year. They could be carried dry in a pocket or pouch for several years and still remain viable. I usually make a big pot o' beans during the autumn harvest and a venison chili if I happen to get one.

[mistah willies]

^ ^ ^


That there is a man who lives life to the fullest. Hell yes, we are here for a very short time in the whole eternity of whatever happens after we leave this joint.

Suck every last drop of nectar from life's titties!


Amen.

[Mr. Viking]

I eat beans in a can because i can cook them on the stove with no need for a pan

[oettinger]

I eat beans in a can because i can cook them on the stove with no need for a pan

You know on last day of festival some newbies always think it a great idea to put them closed cans on the fire till they exlode.
Was funny when I whas 20 but not now, damn kiddos!

[Mr. Viking]

I eat beans in a can because i can cook them on the stove with no need for a pan

You know on last day of festival some newbies always think it a great idea to put them closed cans on the fire till they exlode.
Was funny when I whas 20 but not now, damn kiddos!

Dad says my Nan blew up a Fray Bentos pie


in the oven because she forgot to open the tin first

[oettinger]

Wow, my screen just took off to moon!

[Palinka (RIP)]

Dad says my Nan blew up a Fray Bentos pie...

What flavour? Chicken, smokey bacon or cheese and onions?

[Mr. Viking]

Dad says my Nan blew up a Fray Bentos pie...

What flavour? Chicken, smokey bacon or cheese and onions?

Just Steak

[mistah willies]

This is a hidden chapter, an easter egg (the proper vernacular for hidden things that you might enjoy when you discover them). This is for the Ladies of the MDM.

Here are the songs, in proper order, for this character exploration. Only for you, Ladies.

Stay by U2

Drive by The Cars

Crash by Cavo


This is called DESERT SNOW CH E11EVENATION of Sean


“She was tall, like he was, but that was about it for their similarities...
-except for one thing:

They were attracted to danger. They saw this curious thing in each other when they first met, before the disaster.”


*AHEM* wait a second. Where are my manners…

Have you your Chalice ready my lovely friend? Let’s take a sip together before we drive forth. I promise to bring you back to your doorstep safely.

GHUG (pardon me. I’m a bit peckish)


All righty then. Let’s check this out, cool?


We awful punks rode back in the taxicab to the ugly, dirty apartment. Sans Joking Estates lived up to its sordid name. During that short little ride with a heavy load of booze in the boot, those two large bastards muttered at each other.


Sean sat in the front, and little Joey was crunched up between the purple-mohawk giant on one side, and me, on the other.


I shouted. I said, “Not here. You two have to get back that damned hearse for Jerry. Now shut up.”

The driver said, “Que? I ain’t driving to no cemetery on this sunset, Holmes.”


The purple haired punk rocker, Jerry, he said, “No man. This ain’t creepy. I just want to get me car back.”


The driver said, “Lost your ride, eh jefe? Man, I don’t what you boys been up to, but you dudes smell pretty bad.” He looked over at Sean sitting there next to him and nodded at the melted thigh high pleather boots. He chuckled.


Sean got pissed. He said, “Hey! Keep your eyes on the road man. I got an important date.”


The driver said, “You got all dolled up like this? What, you have a date in hell?”


That was when Joey, the little Lion man, he laughed his arse off. He said, “Yeah! She’s a freaky bitch if she likes that bastard!”

That set everyone to laughing at Sean’s expense.



Sean shook his head because he knew that Joey was right. He was called out and he was owned in that moment, no denial.


The cab driver pulled up to the side curb and looked over to the lawn. He said, “What the hell happened to the grass? Two lines of dead yellow like a landing strip. It’s a path. Those go to your place?” He was looking at Sean.


Sean said, “I don’t live here. This ain’t my shit.” That is how you do it. You never give too much away. Always protect your bastard friends. It’s reciprocated, you know.


The driver said, “I got some family members that can take care of a lawn better than this. You want me to give you their number?”


Joey said, “Don’t worry about it. Now open the trunk.”


The sun crested the tops of the apartment complex as it slunk away into the evening of the day. Everything is made level at this time. Evening means even, and twilight is for lovers.



I grabbed them two cases of beers out of the rear hatch, and Joey got his bags of bottles. I walked across the lawn and did not wait. Joey hung back. I got onto the concrete and turned back. Joey had the key to the damned place. I saw him open his shopping bags. He offered a bottle of his Night Train Express, or perhaps it was Strawberry Hill to the fat punk rocker. Jerry nodded and smiled and grabbed it.



Then Joey walked over to me across our yellow tattoo across that green lawn. Indeed, he followed them lines to where I stood.

DEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTUREDEPARTED


Sean watched us leave him and he felt a twinge of loss.


(Now, he was still on the new tab of ZID, but he was more comfortable in its odd intoxication. He told me all of this later. What follows is what he said. But he could never tell a story all that well. I’ve taken the liberties of coloring in his skeleton of a true tale, from his perspective, as well from as hers. Forgive me, my dear.)



He saw that the grass on the lawn was ruined by the trails of two vomiting slugs who had been unceremoniously dropped off at the curb after a short car ride. It indeed appeared to be a landing strip for aircraft to land, and to invade. He considered that this wasn’t a good thing, because his mind was crafty like that.



He filed it away for further discourse with us. As for at that moment, he had two important considerations to evaluate. One was the hearse, and the other was the girl. First, the work, and then, the reward.


He said, “All right, you fat fuck. Let’s go get your shitty hearse.” He looked over to the driver and said, “Here’s the address.”


The driver looked down at the small piece of grimy paper and nodded. They drove off.



From the back seat, Jerry said, “It wasn’t shitty before last night, you bastard.”
The driver said, “Hermanos! Please. Chill the fuck out. How about some tunes?” With that, he blasted his Salsa music and would not let anyone switch the radio station.




Mmmm. Time for a sip.


CHUG


Hokay, mis hermanas, vengamos ahora.



The taxicab driver pulled over and looked across Sean to an empty field. There was once a home, but it was gone now. He said, “This is the address. It’s painted on the curb. But where is the house? Where is that hearse of your friend?”


Sean said, “Hold on. Wait here. Let me go check it out. Don’t leave. Stay here with him Jerry.”



The driver said, “Hey! I’m a good man! I won’t leave till you pay me. You know what? I want my money now Holmes. This is sketchy as hell.”


Sean hopped out and said, “Jerry, pay him. I’ll be right back.” He walked up the driveway, looking left and right. It was out on the far eastern side of the megalopolis of Fuckno, down to the south. He could hear Jerry saying something.



Jerry was saying, “Ten buck? For a ride out to the sticks? This is fucked. All right, all right, it’s not your fault. Here you go. What’s your name anyway?”



Sean looked over at the trees to his right and saw a tall woman standing there behind them. A black hearse was lying there behind the trees. Next to it was a white ’67 Karman Ghia. The top was down and the sides were high.

Pretty.


She smiled at him and beckoned him over. Sean nodded, and then he pointed at the taxicab. He walked back to the taxicab and grabbed his bags of 40’s out of the front seat.


He said, “All set.”

Then he jogged back up the driveway and disappeared behind the trees.



Jerry grabbed his bottle of cheap red wine and climbed out of the car. The springs went up and the driver sped off. Alone in the desert, with only the hint of a lovely Rosé blushing in the waning light of the wide, desert sky. It spoke of trvst. It hinted at trvth.

But nothing can prove its veracity until it is no longer needed.




Jerry walked straight along to take a long distance view of where Sean had gone behind the trees. It gave him a bit of the shivers. He didn’t completely trust this weird situation. He didn’t know Sean’s new girl at all. He held only two things deep inside there at that moment: Sean would always argue with him and fight him, but Sean would never truly betray him.



He walked along, eyes all big in the waning light, and he gripped that bottle tight in his right hand. His other hand felt the wad of cash in the pocket of his trousers. He didn’t know that he was doing this thing.


He got far enough up the slow rise of the crumbly concrete driveway until he could see the front of his hearse. He exhaled. He didn’t realize that he was holding his breath. Then he saw the tall woman hugging all over Sean and he smiled.


Then he felt jealous.


Then he felt anger.

He said, “Why the fuck did you bring us all the way out here?!”


Sean stepped away form his lady and turned around. He held out his hand. He said, “Hey! Here are your keys. Take your damned ride and go home.” He tossed them at Jerry and turned around to his girl.


He said, “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

She said, “Let’s go!”



They got into her vehicle while Jerry looked around in the desert sand for his keys. The other two sped off in the dusk, spinning tires and making a cloud of dust.


They drove off to her place, where a swimming pool awaited them.


Water in the desert. Oasis.



Neither of them knew that Jerry was homeless.




See you next time, my dear Ladies of the MDM. I'll show you the next X on the treasure map, when the time is ready Shhhhh. Secret.



.

[Dale]

In memoriam.
I'll be here with a can of green beans and cans of Beer and Booze.
Let's go nuts.

[Palinka (RIP)]

We don't do that anymore.

Now it's "Brown Drink Friday".

[Dale]

I#ll bring Rum.

[Mr. Viking]

I'll be there

[Savage]

We don't do that anymore.

Sure we do. Except I think it might be Saturday now. Don't quote me on that, though.

And my green beans are frozen, and only Grumpy likes them.