Drunkard Injuries

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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Palinka (RIP)
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Update.

Post by Palinka (RIP) »

Still typing...
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
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Chelsea40oz
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Post by Chelsea40oz »

The scab on my knee is beginning to heal. Thank goodness I have lost interest in skatebording this summer.

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Post by Savage »

My foot hurts, but you should see the other guy.
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Post by AndrewS »

In college, after drinking about 10+ shots of jd in a very short amount of time, I stumbled to bed in my room. Slept through the night.

Woke up the next morning, was VERY sick.... to the point where I believe I pulled a chest/abdominal muscle from vomiting. I couldn't even cough without pain for a couple of weeks after.
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Post by Circling over Shannon »

First of all, that’s awful about pulling a stomach muscle.
Secondly I have a drinking story that isn't really an injury except to pride maybe.
Around my 19th B-day (the day before fall break began) my college buddy through me a bourbon bash. I did nearly 19 (I think) shots in 2 hours (not all bourbon) plus a couple of bong hits which my stoner buddies convinced me to do in my stupor (I don't remember doing it) Anyway at the height of inebriation my father calls to confirm my train plans and some asshole comes to get me! So I'm trying to sound undrunk and my dad is like giving me all this complicated info which I'm relaying to the asshole to write down. My dad said "I've put the ticket in your name" and I (the drunken fool I am) said "Michelle?" and my dad paused for a second then said "well yea that is your name." I’m like giggling and failing miserably at pretending to be undrunk. That isn't the end.
The next morning I foolishly try to go to my 9am Portuguese class (still kind of wasted)
I get through about 10 minutes before running to the bathroom (which was directly across the hall) where I spent the remainder of the period vomiting...loudly
I'll never drink bourbon again.
Oh and I asked my dad about that a little while ago and he said I didn’t fool him for a second.

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Post by Huckleberry Hound »

you should hit your friend who put you on the phone in the head with a pillow case full of bocci balls
Alcohol is my child and I am its father I will embrace it and draw it to my mouth and absorb its very essence. -HH

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Re: Update.

Post by LuckyStrikes »

Palinka wrote:Still typing...
We'll wait.
Voices tell me to buy the bigger bottle!

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Post by Palinka (RIP) »

Too many injuries. Too many drunken pratfalls.
I won't be able to upload it.
Ahh, fuck it. I'll just post some photographs of the scars.
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
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hoverdog
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The Hammer is brutal indeed

Post by hoverdog »

In the last month or so I've really gone to town on the things twice, and both times have resulted in huge bruises and last Saturday I fucked up my wrist somehow. I've certainly had my share of blackouts, but the Hammer is the only drink that then proceeds to beat up my defenseless body.

Granted, mixing the things pint-sized was asking for it...
The last thing that anyone should ever do is feel ashamed of blacking out. You were trying to get drunk last night and, goddamnit, mission accomplished.

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Drunkard Injuries

Post by Aloysius_of_Tahiti »

I was 15 and me and my buddy Ben "Nasty Neb" Nix and I were polishing off a bottle of Bota R, the cheapest Spanish rum that could be found in town, drinking down on the boardwalk. It was wintertime so the beach was deserted but the lifeguard towers were still up. With half a bottle of rum and coke in my belly, I begin to think that a jump off one of those towers would be a thrilling experience and goddamn, just look at that moon and the black waves crashing against the shore and I'm 15 and I'm drunk...so I climb to the top of the lifeguard tower and I breathe in the cleanest air and then I jump.
Unfortunately, my sense of depth perception was skewed, what with me being blind drunk, and I had locked my knees in anticipation of hitting the beach long before I had actually made contact. I hit the sand with ramrod legs and the shock ran up through my tailbone and into my spine. I was breathless. I could barely walk.
Somehow I made it to a taxi with Nasty Neb's help and got home. The next morning I was a cripple. I poured myself a hot bath, but to no avail. The only relief I found was to lay spread eagle upon my bedroom's cold marble floor. I did this for two days (during which my older brother was questioned whether I was involved in heavy drugs) but still made it back to school on Monday.
Goddamn, good times!

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Jelmo
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Jelmo »

Maybe drinking and jumping from high objects are two things that should rarely meet
"Don't give a damn how this turns out
Drain bottles just to scream and shout
On the run from reality
Poison helps me and go flee"

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by BBoozer »

It's called Darwinism, or survival of the fittest. You did a dumb thing while being drunk. You survived. Congrats. Now you can procreate.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Resident Asshole »

I have a friend who was drunk and tried to climb up from one balcony to another on the outside of an apartment building.

Needless to say that didn't work and he broke his back. Was told he would never walk again and had rods put into his back. He walks now but he didn't have insurance so he couldn't afford the rods to be taken out.
Bourbon is my blood.

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Aloysius_of_Tahiti
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Aloysius_of_Tahiti »

Watta bunch of sad-sack pussies. Sure, people die while drunk...they even die while they're NOT drunk!
The point of this thread was to document funny anecdotes of dumb fucks like me getting drunk and
then hurting ourselves in various manners.
Think America's Funniest Home Videos Meets Booze.

Goddamn buncha killjoys.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Mong »

Killjoy or not, I'd rather have a drunken discussion of medieval theater than go out and splinter my shins.

Am I a pansy? Maybe. But at least I can still walk to the bar the next day.

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