Already taken care of. It will happen when he least expects it.Wingman wrote:Dear Savage,
How much more cyberstalking of your daughters before you send someone to kill Boozy?
Thanks,
Concerned Cad
Ask Savage
Moderators: Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge
- Savage
- Juicing Like Jackie
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- Location: All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
Re: Ask Savage
like tears in rain
- Savage
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 25434
- Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2003 1:16 am
- Location: All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
Re: Ask Savage
It means you're giving them more than they deserve. Too bad they're too dumb-ignorant to make use of your lagniappe kindness.peetie44 wrote:Dear Ms Savage,
People are always asking me, "A penny for your thoughts?" But when I reply, they say I'm "putting in my two-cents worth."
Where does that extra penny go?
like tears in rain
- Savage
- Juicing Like Jackie
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- Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2003 1:16 am
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Re: Ask Savage
Just position him in front of the liquor cabinet, give him a blanket and pillow, an emesis basin and a bottle of water, and hope for the best.NYDingbat wrote:Dear Savage,
What constitutes the care and feeding of an occasionally under bridge dwelling bluebottle?
A concerned vagrant
like tears in rain
- Savage
- Juicing Like Jackie
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Re: Ask Savage
Who, me? He's often blue. He loves the bottle. He has outlived all medical expectations for his longevity curve.Chimneyfish wrote:Describe bluebottle in one word
like tears in rain
- Savage
- Juicing Like Jackie
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- Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2003 1:16 am
- Location: All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
Re: Ask Savage
You should definitely come here. In fact, I got a big old pink pile of stucco I would love to sell you. It's nice: It's got four bedrooms, a library, family room/kitchen area, living room, big back yard with a lot of dead grass (water bills are high!) and a detached two car garage (currently full of all kinds of crap and woodworking machines.) The kitchen is biggish, and has a nextdoor laundry room. Oh, and we have indoor plumbing: three toilets, four bathroom sinks, a shower and a bathtub/shower. There's a third floor area that is currently full of all kinds of crap, but we'll take that with us. Our next door neighbor is a game warden; he'll probably give you fish and stuff like he does us. He brought home a dead cougar once, and then a live bear cub that my grandboys wanted to have. There's a small front porch area, perfect for sipping bourbon at, which is what we do there--Grumpy smokes his stinky cigars there too.fiyah wrote:Dear Savage,
Should I move to California? or wait until the ocean comes to me..
-and-
What is the meaning of a Double Rainbow?
Not desperate or anything, but the hot dry climate and I do not get along.
like tears in rain
- fiyah
- Drinking Like W.C.
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- Location: Boozing Bodhisattva
- Contact:
Re: Ask Savage
Sounds like heaven if you lower the temperature by 10-20 degrees F..
22:21 Thirsty i was too drunk to be high
[13:22] <@Veen> I need to find the penis monster
[23:03] <@fabric> dont masturbate to me
[13:22] <@Veen> I need to find the penis monster
[23:03] <@fabric> dont masturbate to me
- Negromancer
- King Cockeyed
- Posts: 1990
- Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2009 10:36 am
- Location: Norway
Re: Ask Savage
Where are me boots? Me noggin', noggin' boots?
"The best drink of the day, was the drink he had in his head before the first drink of the day."
- Mr. Von Rotten
- Booze Head
- Posts: 31
- Joined: Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:48 pm
Re: Ask Savage
Dear Savage,
I managed to drink myself up to 439lbs. I literally eat only 4 or 5 times a week. I thought my doctor would approve of my mostly "liquid" diet, but unfortunately this is not the case. I am going to have my stomach stapled and was told alcohol is a definate no-no. Is bourbon injectable? In inhaler/nebulizer form maybe? I'm grabbing at straws here.
Fat and afraid in California.
I managed to drink myself up to 439lbs. I literally eat only 4 or 5 times a week. I thought my doctor would approve of my mostly "liquid" diet, but unfortunately this is not the case. I am going to have my stomach stapled and was told alcohol is a definate no-no. Is bourbon injectable? In inhaler/nebulizer form maybe? I'm grabbing at straws here.
Fat and afraid in California.
"What did the leaper say to the hooker?... Keep the tip."
- Wingman
- Chugging Like Churchill
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- Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 1:44 pm
- Location: on my way to a bar
Re: Ask Savage
put it in the humidifier....
Stupid should hurt.
"We're better than mere people, we're DRUNKARDS."
--ThirstyDrunk
"We're better than mere people, we're DRUNKARDS."
--ThirstyDrunk
- Savage
- Juicing Like Jackie
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- Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2003 1:16 am
- Location: All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
Re: Ask Savage
Well, damn. You are a big boy. However, bourbon is totally injectible. I, my own self, have had a bourbon IV port for years (in case of emergency, ya know). As for inhaling it, come hang out here. Just the backwash from our breathing with get you a contact high, fer shur.Mr. Von Rotten wrote:Dear Savage,
I managed to drink myself up to 439lbs. I literally eat only 4 or 5 times a week. I thought my doctor would approve of my mostly "liquid" diet, but unfortunately this is not the case. I am going to have my stomach stapled and was told alcohol is a definate no-no. Is bourbon injectable? In inhaler/nebulizer form maybe? I'm grabbing at straws here.
Fat and afraid in California.
like tears in rain
- Savage
- Juicing Like Jackie
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- Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2003 1:16 am
- Location: All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
Re: Ask Savage
They're right where ya left 'em, yer daft cow.Negromancer wrote:Where are me boots? Me noggin', noggin' boots?
like tears in rain
- NYDingbat
- Boozing Like Bukowski
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- Location: Face up. I think.
Re: Ask Savage
Dear Savage,
How much is that doggie in the window?
Thanks,
Chinatown Chef
How much is that doggie in the window?
Thanks,
Chinatown Chef
"I don't start the day. I continue the night."
- mistah willies
"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"
- W.C. Fields
- mistah willies
"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"
- W.C. Fields
- Savage
- Juicing Like Jackie
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- Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2003 1:16 am
- Location: All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
Re: Ask Savage
14 cents the pound. But we will ask you to sign a very special waiver.NYDingbat wrote:Dear Savage,
How much is that doggie in the window?
Thanks,
Chinatown Chef
like tears in rain
- peetie44
- Juicing Like Jackie
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- Location: Belgium, Austin TX, SoCal, Branson MO, Cape Cod MA
Re: Ask Savage
Dear Ms Savage,
I always have a bottle of whisky around and I am very careful not to crack the glass so I'm sure it doesn't leak. I'm also extra careful not to leave the stopper out of the bottle and let it evaporate; yet somehow my whisky keeps disappearing every day or two.
What could be causing this?
-----Confused & Concerned
I always have a bottle of whisky around and I am very careful not to crack the glass so I'm sure it doesn't leak. I'm also extra careful not to leave the stopper out of the bottle and let it evaporate; yet somehow my whisky keeps disappearing every day or two.
What could be causing this?
-----Confused & Concerned
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
- Mr Boozificator
- Boozing Like Bukowski
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Re: Ask Savage
Dear miss Savage,
Tomorrow is a school day and I don't want to go. Can you write a note for my boss explaining how fragile I am and can I hide at your place?
Tomorrow is a school day and I don't want to go. Can you write a note for my boss explaining how fragile I am and can I hide at your place?
"I never want to go to bed if there are still beers in the fridge, but then I am always hopeful that there are beers left in there when I wake up.". Thirstydrunk.
"We all look for happiness, but without knowing where to find it: like drunkards who look for their house, knowing dimly that they have one." Voltaire
"The prince of darkness is a gentleman." Shakespeare.
"We all look for happiness, but without knowing where to find it: like drunkards who look for their house, knowing dimly that they have one." Voltaire
"The prince of darkness is a gentleman." Shakespeare.