sounds twice as bad undrunk

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Impish Boozehound
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sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by Impish Boozehound »

"The fact that you CAN pick handcuffs instantly has made you twice as sexy for tonight. And now I have to pee!"
- hammer she-drunk buddy
"a wise man drinks with the devil to keep the bastard in line, a fool tries to drink the devil away."

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Impish Boozehound
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Re: sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by Impish Boozehound »

"No, the name "fire-crotch" is from the from the swarm of biting ant that live under her skirt"
-a terrifying response to an inquiry about a brunettes nickname at the bar.
"a wise man drinks with the devil to keep the bastard in line, a fool tries to drink the devil away."

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beerkegbilly
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Re: sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by beerkegbilly »

are they fire ants

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Impish Boozehound
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Re: sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by Impish Boozehound »

"GODDAMNIT! There's tequila in my asscrack AGAIN!"
-bar patron with a clumsy handed friend behind him, spilling shots.
"a wise man drinks with the devil to keep the bastard in line, a fool tries to drink the devil away."

JohnnyT

Re: sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by JohnnyT »

Impish Boozehound wrote:"GODDAMNIT! There's tequila in my asscrack AGAIN!"
-bar patron with a clumsy handed friend behind him, spilling shots.


I lol'd.

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Impish Boozehound
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Re: sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by Impish Boozehound »

"OK, you butter up the asshole, I'm going to go work on the prick."
-Discussion between two waitresses determining which one was going to deal with which patron with less than desireable personalties.
"a wise man drinks with the devil to keep the bastard in line, a fool tries to drink the devil away."

JohnnyT

Re: sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by JohnnyT »

Impish Boozehound wrote:"OK, you butter up the asshole, I'm going to go work on the prick."
-Discussion between two waitresses determining which one was going to deal with which patron with less than desireable personalties.

I think I heard a couple girls say this my last trip to Tijuana.

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Impish Boozehound
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Re: sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by Impish Boozehound »

Redbull! It's totally, like a liqure or something!
-drunkest (and dumbest) 18 year old girl In the bar.
"a wise man drinks with the devil to keep the bastard in line, a fool tries to drink the devil away."

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Impish Boozehound
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Re: sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by Impish Boozehound »

"We have power tools, microwave transmitters, a rubber sheep, 18 oz of bourbon, two bottle of vodka, at least half a keg left, one golf club, and 400 feet of fiber optic cabling . . . . . . I think we are equipped to unclog the hooka pipe."
-Host at an office party tackling a minor plumbing issue
"a wise man drinks with the devil to keep the bastard in line, a fool tries to drink the devil away."

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Jose Beam
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Re: sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by Jose Beam »

...Yeah, I get these kinda blisters every time I drink. Don't worry about it.
I can't be your kind, and you can't be mine. Cos I've got wine... on my mind... all the time. -Johnny Paycheck

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mistah willies
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Re: sounds twice as bad undrunk

Post by mistah willies »

Jose Beam wrote:...Yeah, I get these kinda blisters every time I drink. Don't worry about it.
Calluses on my hands? You should see my ---

DRINK!

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