Whisky Tops

peetie44 · Post by **peetie44** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 3:20 pm

I was wondering...

Since I like to drink my whisky out of a bottle would anyone here have suggestions on how I might take the top off of my whisky bottle? I mean, I kinda like whisky (just so long as it doesn't taste like whisky) but lately I've had trouble getting the top off the bottle. Like...do you take the top off of a bourbon bottle differently than you do off a scotch bottle? Btw...I don't want any wood, peat, smoke, caramel, chocolate, leather, heather, crystal meth, opium or etcetera taste in my whisky, but I find that my taking off the bottle's cap imparts all these flavors.

Also...once I open my whisky bottle, the contents seem to vanish. Am I doing something wrong?

hossthomas · Post by **hossthomas** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 3:40 pm

you're my hero peetie. i laughed so hard wine came out my nose and dousedd my keyboar

Jiggers McCoy · Post by **Jiggers McCoy** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 3:44 pm

I think it's a language problem. If the bottle has the word "whisky" anywhere, this is not a whisky you will like.

Instead find a whisky that is labeled thusly: "Mike's Hard Lemonade."

This is the kind of whisky you want.

kowalski · Post by **kowalski** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 4:20 pm

peetie44 wrote: Also...once I open my whisky bottle, the contents seem to vanish. Am I doing something wrong?

Heh, have you seen Thirsty Drunk around at all?..

Wingman · Post by **Wingman** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:39 pm

peetie44 wrote: Also...once I open my whisky bottle, the contents seem to vanish. Am I doing something wrong?

hold the bottle with the top towards the ceiling next time.

ThirstyDrunk · Post by **ThirstyDrunk** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:45 pm

Take off cap. Throw across the street. Drink bottle until empty. Throw across the street.

peetie44 · Post by **peetie44** » Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:14 pm

ThirstyDrunk wrote:Take off cap. Throw across the street. Drink bottle until empty. Throw across the street.

You are a great drunk...but you are a diseased human.

Thus my envy ferments...

Maybe Jerry Lee can explain it moreb bertter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhhUQxjb ... ture=share

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:43 am

Ya need to gnaw it off with your teeths. Otherwise, how you gonna get your roughage?

DeeboCools · Post by **DeeboCools** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 2:36 pm

lulz. There's no heather flavor to bourbon. Not sure about Crystal Meth tho...

Jags · Post by **Jags** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 2:58 pm

Open it with a machete like the champagne sommeliers do. Just be careful of the edges while chugging. You forgot to ask how much is too much in one day.

Jiggers McCoy · Post by **Jiggers McCoy** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:17 am

I once sabred a bottle of bubbly with a butter knife. Guess I was too forceful cuz basically the whole neck broke off, not just the part with the cork. My wife was mad, but we still got to drink it.

Resident Asshole · Post by **Resident Asshole** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:43 pm

I suggest melting the top off with hydrochloric acid. This imparts a sweetness which you will not soon forget.

Jags · Post by **Jags** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:15 pm

Resident Asshole wrote:I suggest melting the top off with hydrochloric acid. This imparts a sweetness which you will not soon forget.

Don't be silly! Hydrochloric acid only affects organic material, not glass.

DeeboCools · Post by **DeeboCools** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:02 pm

Jags wrote:Don't be silly! Hydrochloric acid only affects organic material, not glass.

Nerds! you guys rule the world! but no the right kind of you...

Wingman · Post by **Wingman** » Wed Sep 21, 2011 6:44 pm

Jags wrote: Don't be silly! Hydrochloric acid only affects organic material, not glass.

curse you, glass cork!!!

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