Being a Dick

[Shane-O-Matic]

I decided to punish myself for last night's accidental drunk dial with an unknown Indian at 3am.

I went to a supermarket. Such places upset me greatly. Swarms of fat, smelly humans waddling clumsily about in search of bread and burgers and fish. On this occasion, I was only slightly better, opting to find pizza and beer as quickly as possible.

I went to the checkout, and, by some strange luck, it was the girl who belittled my decision* to buy Pop-Tarts on my last visit. Having also pinned me as somewhat of a boozer, her first words this time were "I'm going to drink myself into a stupor tonight!" Nice, eh?

We then spoke briefly about the benefits of working with a hangover, and BrewDog beers, before I made my way home.

It's not much, but given that I seldom speak to checkout operators, it was nice that alcohol could be the focal point of the discussion.

*I don't eat Pop-Tarts. Others do, though.

[Bur]

I had to google pop-tarts. That shit looks disgusting.

Edit-add: I'm also retardedly pumped up about prospect of the next weekend's rock festival over here. This little city of 50k people will get like 55k+ roaming drunks for a weekend.
'Proper' people will nail shut their doors and shy away from outdoors from thursday night to to sunday evening. I've missed two of these events due to drinking happening outside of Finland, but this year it will all be set right. I don't even give shit about the music, it's just the prospect of having so many people drunk in area of few square miles.

I'm not sure if it's official policy but everyone seen in walking outside without some form of alcoholic drink at hand is to be lynched.

[treetop]

what in the seven fancy christs (big c and a cross and what have you) is up with europe and wacky places like that? you don't have something as 1975 as a pop tart and you've never even heard of one before? i will sell you a steam powered sternwheeler to ship your spelt and barley up the canal and the magistrates at the grand duchy will divide it among your vassals.
f'ing europeans.

[Bur]

I'm sorry but I can't help living in backwoods of Europe.

[treetop]

i kid because i care. pop tarts are horrible.
even the apple cinnamon ones.

[treetop]

cheers, bur.

[Smatter Noguts]

Pop Tarts led to Hot Pockets, the leading cause of uncontrollable drunkshits and toaster oven fires.

[coqui_chris]

Check-out Counter: "I'm gonna drink myself into a stupor tonight"
You: "Oh yeah? Where's the party tonight"


Some other words are exchanged, a number is exchanged, a meet-up is arranged, and then some bodily fluids are exchanged

[treetop]

Pop Tarts led to Hot Pockets, the leading cause of uncontrollable drunkshits and toaster oven fires.

do not disparage the hot pocket. not on my watch.
especially the ham and cheese ones.

[peetie44]

Pop Tarts led to Hot Pockets, the leading cause of uncontrollable drunkshits and toaster oven fires.

Red wine + Hot Pockets = mudbutt of Biblical distortions.

[Aloysius_of_Tahiti]

Reading MDM without knowledge of USA pizza rolls is like flying a mig for Rooskie

[peetie44]

"Shit, motherfuckers, I brought that game with me...right here in my damn pocket!"

[tomodon]

You're a legend Shane's! I also did the super-market beer run during the rain delay at the thingie today. You ever find you buy other shit just to slightly disguise your large beer purchases? Probably not. Pop-tarts burn the little lump behind your front teeth - like liquid hot magma. Pippa, Kate or Murray's bird?

[WolfOfTheWest]

Pippa, Kate or Murray's bird?

Kate. No question. Pippa is tidy, but nothing on Kate. And Murray's missus must be dull as anything judging by what a douche he is...

[Savage]

Speaking of Pop Tarts, I used to eat them, the brown sugar ones and the red-filled ones. And I liked them very much. i was only eight years old, but I will never live down the shame.