Drunkard Injuries

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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Mr. Viking
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Mr. Viking » Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:10 am

managed to fall out of my chair early this morning. Went arse first into a stack of beer bottles. Could have ended pretty badly, but I managed to get away with a few cuts to my fingers. Now I can't even find what I cut them on
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:22 am

Mr. Viking wrote:...I can't even find what I cut them on
Get really drunk then roll around on the floor, and I guarantee that you'll find those bits of broken glass, old razor blades, splinters of wood etc. It always works for me.
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Mr. Viking » Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:25 am

Palinka wrote:Get really drunk then roll around on the floor, and I guarantee that you'll find those bits of broken glass, old razor blades, splinters of wood etc. It always works for me.
I did that a few weeks ago before my brother came to visit. There was a horrible amount of glass and hair
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:39 am

I once came-to to find a bloodied footprint on the ceiling. To this day I have no idea how it got there. I mean, I know how I cut my feet; I got really fucked up and passed out with an ashtray on my chest, which smashed on the floor when I turned over, whilst sleeping, and then I cut my feet on the broken glass when I staggered up for a piss and another few shots of Pálinka (I was in Hungary, in those days). So the bloodied footprints on the floor and the bed are completely explainable but the one on the ceiling? And Hungarian rooms have really high ceilings. Weird.
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Bur » Sat Mar 30, 2013 2:08 am

I once during one of my week-long findrunks bloodied up 3 different rooms of my parents house which I evidently was upkeeping. All the while I managed to stay blacked out for whole duration of event and evidently had bandaged my left arm from which I found rather deep mystery cut from. I also had cut over my eyebrow, big toe of right feet and lower back. Strange times.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by mistah willies » Sat Mar 30, 2013 12:57 pm

This is how I found out that I needed to learn how to fight properly. It's also why you will find me to be a friendly sort fellow here at the Mighty MDM forums. I work very hard at it.

My buddy Joey and I were at this party down on the lower east side of Fuckno, CA, and this was in the early 80's, (or, Gayties, as my wife refers to them). But in the south-eastern side of that ugly city, the pastels and plastic of the 80's did not dare intrude.

Only the classic colors were allowed to cross the border. They wore white undershirts two sizes too large for them, underneath crisp, ironed shirts of dark earth tones, buttoned only at the neck.

One must have instant access to one's hidden weapons, underneath.

Dark, creased dress pants, and above all and most important: black dress shoes that gleamed from spit polish and were as sharp as knives.


Me? Yeah, I had the parachute pants. Hell, I never owned a pair of stone-washed jeans, but that isn't saying much, over parachute pants.

Spray-painted Doc Martens, black leather jacket, and hair piled high.

Joey wore a red silk smoking jackets and his own Doc's. Got it? Good. Feels like a damned fashion mag here.


But the setting is essential. We looked like jokes to them, and they looked like a tribe to us.


Now, we had been invited to this party by Joey's brother Roman, but Roman was nowhere to be seen. So, it appeared to them that we were some party-crashers, some invaders, some pinche cavrons.

It started to get a bit warm there.

One particular fellow came over to Joey and me and said, "Where are your girls? Or are you here with each other?"

At the same time, Joey and I responded. He said, "No, they coming."

And I said, "It's just us, sir."

Well, that was kind of awkward. I mean, they all began to laugh, asking "which one is it" to each other, and then they began form a front.

Roman snuck up whispered between us, “Hey! I just got a [expletive describing an oral sexual act deleted by MDM lawyers] from a chick out back. You know, we should get the hell out of here!”


Oh, that was where he had been. Thanks a lot, man.

The one who spoke to us first came back with, “So which is it, maricon? You bitches coming? Or they standing before me right this second?”


Well, I found that I have latent rage. But I didn’t have any finesse with fighting at that time. I jumped forward and pulled my arm back, and he simply stepped to the side and jabbed the side of my jaw. I felt my teeth squeak, I felt a bit dizzy, and that was when Joey covered for me and rabbit punched the dude in the area just below the rib cage.

Roman pulled me up and said, “Let’s get the fuck outta here.”

Joey looked around as I limped out with Roman, and he said, “This how you treat guests to your home? You should be ashamed of yourselves!”

Well, that made them think, because homeboys and cholos are raised to be respectful in their youth, and Joey was, after all, still Hispanic, (just kinda punked out) and that was just enough time to get the hell out of there.

My injury was my jaw. It swelled up and my mouth didn’t close right for almost a whole week.

But my other injury was my pride. I needed to learn how to fight well. And, I needed to learn how to control my latent rage. Nothing good ever comes from it.


Strive to be cool, keep the anger at bay.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Mountain Miscreant » Sun Apr 07, 2013 3:36 pm

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Savage » Mon Jun 16, 2014 5:47 am

I'll just say, stairs are my nemesis. Is my nemesis. Well, my major ouchy,
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Savage » Mon Jun 16, 2014 5:47 am

However, they are my dentist's favorite thing.
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Mr. Viking » Sun Jun 22, 2014 4:11 am

lets play a nice game of...
mud or bruise


just above left knee knee, oblong, striped. Probable bruise. Give it a rub. No smudging, must be a bruise


outside of right shin, dark, slightly rough parallelegram. Probably dirt. GIve it a rub. Nope, it's a scab. Probably bramble related.


and that's it for todays issue of mud or bruise

see you next blackout awakening for another fun packed episode
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by booznik » Sun Jun 22, 2014 12:24 pm

Palinka wrote:I once came-to to find a bloodied footprint on the ceiling. To this day I have no idea how it got there...
That is a true mystery and perhaps a bit frightening... a shoeprint I would assume came from kicking off/tossing a bloodied shoe onto the ceiling. But a footprint?

Oh Booze Elf, mysterious are your ways, and what's more, you never check your PMs when we demand an explanation. I know, you're busy all the time. Very busy.
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oldsmartskunk » Mon Jul 21, 2014 1:54 am

Woke up with a broken tooth. And not the one up front! Almost last one in the lower jaw. How? Where? Why?! Oh, apparently i was bleeding quite a lot, since a piece of broken tooth cut my gums. Those extra curricular activities...

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Patchez » Mon Jul 21, 2014 5:26 am

oldsmartskunk wrote:Woke up with a broken tooth. And not the one up front! Almost last one in the lower jaw. How? Where? Why?! Oh, apparently i was bleeding quite a lot, since a piece of broken tooth cut my gums. Those extra curricular activities...
I shattered most of one of my uppers at the rear of my head.
Seems I'm a bit of a Night Grinder. Chomp and grind all night long.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by booznik » Mon Jul 21, 2014 6:52 pm

oldsmartskunk wrote:Woke up with a broken tooth. And not the one up front! Almost last one in the lower jaw. How? Where? Why?! Oh, apparently i was bleeding quite a lot, since a piece of broken tooth cut my gums. Those extra curricular activities...
You didn't by chance attempt to use your molars as a bottle opener? It's been known to happen.
Patchez wrote:I shattered most of one of my uppers at the rear of my head.
Seems I'm a bit of a Night Grinder. Chomp and grind all night long.
Yikes. I too am a certified Night Grinder. So far, it has only worn down my teeth a bit and not resulted in any serious injuries. But anything can happen, and probably will...
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur

"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow

"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies

"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oldsmartskunk » Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:37 am

I think i feel flat on my face, since it was bruised a bit.

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