#198 Went for wings after my son's grade 8 graduation. Was undrunk throughout the grad but wings begs beers and so I*'m true to fuckin form. Wife said "are you ok to drive?', obligatory response is "get in the fuckin van."
No shit, I got on the boulevard, stopped at the stop sign like a champ, and headed home at the speed limit on the fuckn dot.
Fuckin cop behind me out of no where, I pull over on to a side street, wife knows the dril, had the insurance and ownership with my licence in his fuckin asshole face as my window was rolling down.
"I can't imagine what I did officer . . . " I said dripping sarcasm.
"How many beers have you had?" he said.
"I've had one beer sir. Why did you pull me over?" says I.
"OK, I belive you," he says backpeddliing towards his cruiser.
"Wait!" says I. "You didn't tell me why you pulled me over."
One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
199
Wrote on the MDM in a drinken fog on the MDM forums board.
Many times, like now
Morning verison of me never recalls doing it
Wrote on the MDM in a drinken fog on the MDM forums board.
Many times, like now
Morning verison of me never recalls doing it
- booznik
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
A DRINK!en fog indeed. That is usually the nighttime weather in the rocky shoals near Willies Cove, and few captain dare navigate those waters, lest they break apart and drown in the martini depths.mistah willies wrote:Wrote on the MDM in a drinken fog on the MDM forums board...
But you dare, good sir. And you succeed.
"Booznik. Smooth, classy and manatee-like." --Bur
"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow
"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies
"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo
"Oh, you've been reading your Sir Kenelm Digby, haven't you? Stick to the mead recipes, especially that of the Mayor of Moscovy. That shizz is SACK!!!" --Badfellow
"Now stop and DRINK! bastards." --mistah willies
"A stand alone place for booze is as essential for a home, as is a bed to sleep on." --Miklo
Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
Reading next morning with a drink in hand goes like this:mistah willies wrote:199
Wrote on the MDM in a drinken fog on the MDM forums board.
Many times, like now
Morning verison of me never recalls doing it
A) Did I really write this, whoa greatness, hope the whole board notices this gem
B) What, why did I snot this on the board, god please let no one take note
Drink!
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
As one of the few people to read every single post made, each and every day, you can bet that I will take note (and occasionally edit it, on your behalf - which is not an action that I take lightly, and I always inform the Board Member who's post I have edited, that it was done, why it was done and offer them a chance to discuss it).oettinger wrote:...please let no one take note
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
Hey, I try to keep up myself. Thing is:Palinka wrote:As one of the few people to read every single post made.oettinger wrote:...please let no one take note
# 200 re-reading posts of yesterday you seem to recognize but still can`t quite remeber reading.
This delicious happenstance calls for a mind altering drink!
Drink!
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
I have no recollection of writing the above, and I thank you sir for your magnanimity; much appreciated.booznik wrote:A DRINK!en fog indeed. That is usually the nighttime weather in the rocky shoals near Willies Cove, and few captain dare navigate those waters, lest they break apart and drown in the martini depths.mistah willies wrote:Wrote on the MDM in a drinken fog on the MDM forums board...
But you dare, good sir. And you succeed.
#201 Woke up still drunk with a full belly, very thirsty, and half a bag of uncooked rice spilled all over me sheets.
A rock in my stomach: the rest of the rice
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
Uncooked rice reminded me of something :D
#202 Woke at 1pm, on the kitchen floor, in my underwear(got drunk early in the morning). Burnt french fries were all over the kitchen.
#202 Woke at 1pm, on the kitchen floor, in my underwear(got drunk early in the morning). Burnt french fries were all over the kitchen.
Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
That is called cooking souzed, by a long stretch, like a mary with coke, but its cooking
Drink!
- oldsmartskunk
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
#203 Went into an abandoned graveyard, at 2 am. Fell into quite a deep ditch. Crawled out on all fours.
Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
Cause this is thriller, now I got two worms in my brain, one tells me to drink heavily the other to listen to whole MJ catalogue. Guess which one I will try to tune out first. Both work towards the bucketoldsmartskunk wrote:#203 Went into an abandoned graveyard, at 2 am. Fell into quite a deep ditch. Crawled out on all fours.
#205 joined a party at a place up north finding some korn-schnaps in a freezer only to be noticed that the stuff was on tap for the retired folks sunday morning party the next day. By that time three of us took six bottles each and headed home already. Mixed it with liters of expired vitamin juice I happily brought home from work
Drink!
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
I think that I have the winner: #206 Banned the entire population of Pakistan from The Board (we had a particularly virulent bot that had a Pakistan IP address and kept showing up, no matter how quickly we banned the bugger, with a new IP address, as many as three times a day, for about six weeks - However, since it had to have the Pakistan IP prefix, I just banned Pakistan).
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
- oldsmartskunk
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
Holy Pakistanian Jesus! I bow to thee my lord !Palinka wrote:I think that I have the winner: #206 Banned the entire population of Pakistan from The Board (we had a particularly virulent bot that had a Pakistan IP address and kept showing up, no matter how quickly we banned the bugger, with a new IP address, as many as three times a day, for about six weeks - However, since it had to have the Pakistan IP prefix, I just banned Pakistan).
Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
I think that was me, sorry. Couldn`t enter the damned boards no matter how much I tried, forgot every passwordPalinka wrote:I think that I have the winner: #206 Banned the entire population of Pakistan from The Board (we had a particularly virulent bot that had a Pakistan IP address and kept showing up, no matter how quickly we banned the bugger, with a new IP address, as many as three times a day, for about six weeks - However, since it had to have the Pakistan IP prefix, I just banned Pakistan).
Joke aside, well done
Now I have to offer
#207 when we were teens we got drunk on christmas holidays. During those garbage disposals are delayed for two to three days. Thus full containers were waiting for takeoff on every street. My friend and I got this great idea to kick them all over on the snowy roads. We`ve done this dozen times before during every season before.
We managed to kick some kilometers of containers when we were stopped by police. I had my alibi in place but my buddy screwed the two of us totally up by being so drunk and asking the wrong questions back. We had to put all that litter back into place while the cops followed us at step speed in their car.
Luckily for us, half of the kilometer they didn`t even know of, aswell as the park bench on the highway. I tried to engage with the beautiful cop woman but when she was talking back her old ass boss told her to not talk to the delinquients.
Got to his place and drunk some more till passing out
Drink!
- oldsmartskunk
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Re: One Hundred Things I've Done While Drunk
#208 Threw up through the window. Whole mass of semi-digested food landed on some guys head. Apparently he was smoking. Wrong place,wrong time. Shithead didn't talk to me for a year after that.