The Cretins at Work

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator

Post Reply
User avatar
Frankennietzsche
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 12348
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:13 pm
Location: Master of the Meatloaf Winds
Contact:

The Cretins at Work

Post by Frankennietzsche »

Just overheard:
"Nah, I'm not a poor ass redneck, anymore. I can afford the good stuff, now. Get me a six pack of Bud Light."
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

User avatar
Frankennietzsche
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 12348
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:13 pm
Location: Master of the Meatloaf Winds
Contact:

Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by Frankennietzsche »

Bump:

"What's the difference between Holland and the Netherlands? Did Holland break off from the Netherlands?"

A few minutes later, in regards to Belgium:
"What kind of language do they use, there.? English or what?"
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

User avatar
Frankennietzsche
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 12348
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:13 pm
Location: Master of the Meatloaf Winds
Contact:

Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by Frankennietzsche »

Oooh...here's an older one, that is the best:

"It should take between 30 minutes and half an hour."
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

Palinka (RIP)
Moderator
Posts: 9790
Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2003 7:29 pm
Location: In The Liquor Cabinet

Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by Palinka (RIP) »

A---, my dear chum (and I hope that after 11years, you'll not take offence at my familiarity), those posts are hilarious, disturbing and depressing all at the same time.
Might I suggest that you find a new job, move to a better informed area or start Juicing on the Job*?


*Working in the morgue, I am allowed to keep hooch in my "office" (broomcloset), in case any close relatives, who have come to identify the deceased, need a bracer. More often than not, I am the one hitting that hooch (fucking med. students).
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
ImageImage

User avatar
oettinger
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 14251
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:23 am

Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by oettinger »

frankennietzsche wrote:"It should take between 30 minutes and half an hour."
George Kennedy in the naked gun 1 went tike this: The chances are fifty fifty, but also could only be half and half
Drink!
Image
Image

User avatar
Patchez
Drinking Like W.C.
Drinking Like W.C.
Posts: 6536
Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:41 pm
Location: South Central, PA

Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by Patchez »

My favorite one... 5 mechanics in the last three weeks came back down from the same bottle cap conveyor system with the same report. "It is pretty much shredded for the last three feet". Yet until it happened twice in the same shift, why did it only get fixed when the second mechanic, me , actually fucking fixed it?
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

User avatar
mistah willies
Drinking Like W.C.
Drinking Like W.C.
Posts: 6747
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:48 pm
Location: A ship upon the vast ocean of the Mighty MDM
Contact:

Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by mistah willies »

A cuppy years ago, temporary secretary in the mail room was on FB and bitching about how bored she was.

That ended using the Tribe's server bandwidth for things like FB. Way to go lady

Post Reply