The Cretins at Work

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

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Frankennietzsche
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The Cretins at Work

Post by Frankennietzsche » Fri Jun 20, 2014 9:31 pm

Just overheard:
"Nah, I'm not a poor ass redneck, anymore. I can afford the good stuff, now. Get me a six pack of Bud Light."
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Frankennietzsche
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Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by Frankennietzsche » Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:31 pm

Bump:

"What's the difference between Holland and the Netherlands? Did Holland break off from the Netherlands?"

A few minutes later, in regards to Belgium:
"What kind of language do they use, there.? English or what?"
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Frankennietzsche
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Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by Frankennietzsche » Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:32 pm

Oooh...here's an older one, that is the best:

"It should take between 30 minutes and half an hour."
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Palinka (RIP)
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Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Thu Jul 31, 2014 6:45 pm

A---, my dear chum (and I hope that after 11years, you'll not take offence at my familiarity), those posts are hilarious, disturbing and depressing all at the same time.
Might I suggest that you find a new job, move to a better informed area or start Juicing on the Job*?


*Working in the morgue, I am allowed to keep hooch in my "office" (broomcloset), in case any close relatives, who have come to identify the deceased, need a bracer. More often than not, I am the one hitting that hooch (fucking med. students).
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
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oettinger
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Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by oettinger » Fri Aug 01, 2014 8:35 am

frankennietzsche wrote:"It should take between 30 minutes and half an hour."
George Kennedy in the naked gun 1 went tike this: The chances are fifty fifty, but also could only be half and half
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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Patchez
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Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by Patchez » Sun Aug 03, 2014 4:51 am

My favorite one... 5 mechanics in the last three weeks came back down from the same bottle cap conveyor system with the same report. "It is pretty much shredded for the last three feet". Yet until it happened twice in the same shift, why did it only get fixed when the second mechanic, me , actually fucking fixed it?
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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mistah willies
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Re: The Cretins at Work

Post by mistah willies » Sun Aug 03, 2014 4:53 pm

A cuppy years ago, temporary secretary in the mail room was on FB and bitching about how bored she was.

That ended using the Tribe's server bandwidth for things like FB. Way to go lady

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