Getting Hammered Quietly

A forum to post your thoughts about the art and beauty of getting loaded.

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Jockstewart
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Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by Jockstewart »

So I've heard every idea under the sun, any one got any advice on how to hide your hammered? Usually I just do it when everyone is asleep but I don't always have that option unfortunately. I've heard Soy sauce, Tobasco, tooth paste and mango juice can hide the smell but it never does quite. Also there's the look, a mate of my lately told me I should just pretend I'm hammered when I'm undrunk that way no-one can ever tell... but shit, I don't know if it's working. Anyone got any god damn mother fucking advice? Respectfully.
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Miklo
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by Miklo »

So your basically asking how you can hide the fact that your drunk....practice, practice, practice. My theory is, if you are always drunk, then that is how people expect you to be. My old lady routinely forgets, or doesn't even notice that I am wasted. Similarly, if you are one to drink on the job, going to work the first day drunk is a great way to start. or better yet, go to the interview wasted, and they will expect you to maintain that persona when you start. Now granted, you cant be a sloppy drunk, which is hard for most folks. But in my opinion that is what makes a modern drunkard, control. You have got to know your limits, and know how to maintain a good buzz while still being able to talk without slurring or walking into the wall. So again it all comes down to practice, and it seems you have a lot to learn. If your trying to hide the scent, that is an art in itself and will require a later post. First learn to hide your body language, because that will be the first tell, long before they smell it. Now pour me a fucking drink.
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by Palinka (RIP) »

Miklo has given an excellent reply which covers most bases and of which you should certainly pay heed. However, for further information check out Modern Drunkard Magazine's article, "Juicing on the Job" for some superb tips from FKR (Slurred Be His Name).
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JimLahey
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by JimLahey »

Miklo wrote:So your basically asking how you can hide the fact that your drunk....practice, practice, practice. My theory is, if you are always drunk, then that is how people expect you to be. My old lady routinely forgets, or doesn't even notice that I am wasted. Similarly, if you are one to drink on the job, going to work the first day drunk is a great way to start. or better yet, go to the interview wasted, and they will expect you to maintain that persona when you start. Now granted, you cant be a sloppy drunk, which is hard for most folks. But in my opinion that is what makes a modern drunkard, control. You have got to know your limits, and know how to maintain a good buzz while still being able to talk without slurring or walking into the wall. So again it all comes down to practice, and it seems you have a lot to learn. If your trying to hide the scent, that is an art in itself and will require a later post. First learn to hide your body language, because that will be the first tell, long before they smell it. Now pour me a fucking drink.
Amen.

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oettinger
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by oettinger »

Make it through lunch break and order a big blonde brewskie. Blame everything on it.
Drink sizes matter
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by Modernista »

Start wearing sunglass all the time, then you may get hammered whenever, wherever.

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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by Frankennietzsche »

Just watch "Weekend at Bernies"
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by Mr. Viking »

a good heavy jacket can help hide the smell. Make sure to be deliberate in everything you do, take your time. You are speaking faster than you think. No, they don't need help with whatever you're about to help with, leave them to it
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by mistah willies »

Whisky or even "Whiskey" will cover the tracks of drinking "Pepsi Cola" because you should never admit to drinking that.

Lemon will add to aroma of vodka, and it will save you from the Dry Police force.

Bourbon will round out the flavor of chocolate cake, and hey, if there is chocolate cake, then everyone should be drinking bourbon, so you are in a safe place, warm and cozy.


If you find yourself wearing leather, as in a jacket, or boots, or ass-less chaps with cowboy hat,

then you don't have to worry about anything at all,

except for your bum-hole.


Of course, beer, lovely beer,

well.

It needs no excuse .

Welcome to beer world. I'll take some black rum as a chaser.




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Bur
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by Bur »

I read the title as "Getting Hammered Quickly" my bad, I better be off then.

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oettinger
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by oettinger »

Bur wrote:I read the title as "Getting Hammered Quickly" my bad, I better be off then.
No no, my reply makes even more sense now:
oettinger wrote:Make it through lunch break and order a big blonde brewskie. Blame everything on it.
Well kind of.
Drink sizes matter
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givemesomepils
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by givemesomepils »

you just need to handle yourself. i can walk around do what i need to do, but I drink everyday. idk if this is even helpful
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SKguy
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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by SKguy »

Yea, it takes practise to get drunk inconspicuously. Like, try not to have too much interaction with anyone if you don't want them to know you're drinking, because even if you're only buzzed, they can still probably tell by your mannerisms. Not making your bottle, glass, and shot glass clang against eachother, not playing music too loud, etc...
The smell on the other hand... I've been drinking vodka and sevens because I find that doesn't smell quite as strong. My favourite drink is a rye and coke (double, in a short glass), but man does that ever smell! No way to be inconspicuous there! The next day you'll smell like you took a bath in rye! hahaha.

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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

The office have a game they play where they try to determine if i'm in the dark stages of drunkardness or just hungover. My advice is drink and don't care.
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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Re: Getting Hammered Quietly

Post by mistah willies »

Damn straight.

Like a shot now.


You know, beer makes me sleepy, but hard liquor wakes me the hell up.

I think it's a balancing act.

No need to wake the neighboors.

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