I just needed to write something somewhere. I haven't been around for years, but I know you are all a good listening crowd. I just need to let some words out. I feel I need to. I'm not big on talking about my feelings. And at the moment I can't utter a word without my voice cracking up and I break into tears. This will probably help.
Late Saturday night my 14 year old niece decided that living was too painful and attempted to take her own life. Thanks to good people, quick help and decisions they managed to get her heart beating again.
Even before Monday we understood that it was really bad but was hoping that she would come back, somehow, in some shape, mentally or physically. They had her sedated so that she would get a chance to recuperate before they would try and resuscitate her. They did an MRI midday Monday to determine the extent of the damage. Unfortunately our worst fears were true. There was not much left, at all. The parts of the brain that define us as people was gone. The only parts that showed any activity was those that kept her heart beating and made her take an occasional breath. Machines are now breathing for her.
Today I got the call from my sister that her body could not take it anymore. It is now only the respirator that keeps her "alive", which it will keep doing until tomorrow when her organs will be donated to help other children in desperate need.
This sweet, beautiful girl who always seemed so happy and was a laughing bright light in the room. Over the years we've had indications that something has been wrong. She had talked to three psychiatrist without them getting her to open up. Nor have they understood how bad it apparently was. She hasn't let anyone in.
Now she is forever gone. Such a waste. Tonight I will go and see her one last time, to say my final goodbyes.
The pain is unbearable. There are no words to be spoken. There are, only tears.
You will be eternally loved, dear child.
Also I worry about my sister and how she will make it through all this. I feel my pain. I can't even begin to imagine hers.
Sad days
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Re: Sad days
There is nothing more tragic than the loss of a child. Though I have never met you, my heart truly feels for you and your family. I am not one for giving great words of consolation, but I do pray that you all will be able to find comfort and peace through this horrible time.
“And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.”
― Augusten Burroughs
― Augusten Burroughs
- Smatter Noguts
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Re: Sad days
Ouch. Bad times on the board. Prayers to you and yours in a though a tough time.
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Sad days
Swede, dude, I'm so sorry. I know that is some tough shit to go through, all I can offer is condolences. Be strong, for yourself and for your sister.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
- oldsmartskunk
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Re: Sad days
Sorry to hear that. My condolences. Spring often brings a lot of victims. I hope you will find a way to cope with this great loss.
Re: Sad days
Wow. That just sucks. Losing anyone with that much life ahead of them is the shittiest thing in the world. Thoughts and good vibes from me and mine to you and yours. At least the organs are going to others in need.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
Re: Sad days
Yes, today families around the country are waking up with smiles, anticipation and probably also tears of joy. Packing up and getting ready for surgery tonight. Allowing better life, longer life or life that would otherwise have also been lost. At this time the only comfort is knowing this. That and also knowing that whatever uncomprehensible pain she was in is gone and she can finally find peace.
The goodbyes have been said. The process of healing begins.
The goodbyes have been said. The process of healing begins.
- peetie44
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Re: Sad days
May she rest in eternal peace while living on in your family's hearts.
Onward and upward, my friend.
Onward and upward, my friend.
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
Re: Sad days
Swede,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. I wish I had words to ease the pain but all I van say is I am sorry for your loss. Let us know if we can help in any way.
-Bluto
My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. I wish I had words to ease the pain but all I van say is I am sorry for your loss. Let us know if we can help in any way.
-Bluto
Re: Sad days
What everyone else said. Yes.
So sad sad news Swede. Not even talking about your poor sister, I am at loss of words...
Be there for her, be as strong as you can, stick together in tough times like these!
So sad sad news Swede. Not even talking about your poor sister, I am at loss of words...
Be there for her, be as strong as you can, stick together in tough times like these!
Drink!
- Negromancer
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Re: Sad days
Kondolerer.
"The best drink of the day, was the drink he had in his head before the first drink of the day."