Quotes from a Dry

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

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mistah willies
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Quotes from a Dry

Post by mistah willies » Sun Dec 21, 2014 8:44 pm

Yeah, live with two of 'em now.

Offered the ChunkieMonk a free PBR, and he said, "No thanks, bro. I'm allergic to beer."

I said, "Hah?"

He said, "I break out in handcuffs."

This was ten minutes ago.

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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by Palinka (RIP) » Sun Dec 21, 2014 10:54 pm

mistah willies wrote:...he said, "No thanks, bro. I'm allergic to beer."...
It's a ruse to get his hands on your Kraken (and maybe your toilet paper - have you checked for SqualorMan recently?)
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by mistah willies » Mon Dec 22, 2014 12:14 am

Palinka wrote:
mistah willies wrote:...he said, "No thanks, bro. I'm allergic to beer."...
It's a ruse to get his hands on your Kraken (and maybe your toilet paper - have you checked for SqualorMan recently?)

We are all ensqualored, if we don't keep our minds on our arses.

I know you to be very hygienic, but here, well, sometimes it appears, among a certain individual, the teepee may not be actually used at all.

Squalor alert!


Wait, methinks that was supposed to go before the link
Can we drink now? ---peetie44
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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by AntonArkydivich » Sat Oct 31, 2015 7:18 am

My Russian friend's dry mother-in-law, upon finding out he likes whiskey:

"You drink?! Have you ever seen a grown man shit his pants?!"

As a matter of fact I have. It was my Russian friend, very drunk, playing midnight golf. And it was hilarious.
Making my own city lights out of bourbon and the stars of a barroom fight.
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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by Mr. Viking » Fri Nov 06, 2015 5:19 pm

"why do you drink"

"I don't like feeling like I'm not in control"

"I don't need to drink to feel like I'm having fun"

etc

etc
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best

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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by oettinger » Sat Nov 07, 2015 5:53 am

Mr. Viking wrote: "I don't need to drink to feel like I'm having fun"
Yep the worst.

"I become another person" is also great. I mean if you like to wear dresses just do it
"I might forget myself" spot on stupid! I always forget
Is it just me or did the boxed bumwine cork a little bit?
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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by Patchez » Wed Nov 11, 2015 10:16 pm

I reply to the you don't have to drink to have fun, well you don't need sneakers to run but it fucking helps.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by mistah willies » Sat Nov 14, 2015 9:08 pm

Patchez wrote:I reply to the you don't have to drink to have fun, well you don't need sneakers to run but it fucking helps.
Yes indeed.

In that manner: "I think you're addicted to coffee, cigs, and going to meetings in the church basement"

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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by oettinger » Sun Nov 15, 2015 6:04 pm

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Somethign is wrong woith him
Is it just me or did the boxed bumwine cork a little bit?
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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by oettinger » Sun Nov 15, 2015 6:12 pm

"/mx9Uck6uB63VIKFYnEMXrRJtnKITppOI_IvcXXDNrsc.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+0370-03FF;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:normal;font-weight:500;src:local('Roboto Medium'),local('Roboto-Medium'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto" Totally caught me off guard.

I mean, I drink heavily but shit like this makes me sick
Is it just me or did the boxed bumwine cork a little bit?
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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by mistah willies » Wed Nov 18, 2015 5:01 pm

oettinger wrote:"/mx9Uck6uB63VIKFYnEMXrRJtnKITppOI_IvcXXDNrsc.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+0370-03FF;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:normal;font-weight:500;src:local('Roboto Medium'),local('Roboto-Medium'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto" Totally caught me off guard.

I mean, I drink heavily but shit like this makes me sick
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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by brandonman » Wed May 11, 2016 2:06 am

oettinger wrote:<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="de" data-cast-api-enabled="true"><head><style name="www-roboto">@font-face{font-family:'Roboto....................
What a ripe cheeky cunt!
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Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by Dear Booze » Thu Sep 22, 2016 12:12 pm

oettinger wrote:<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="de" data-cast-api-enabled="true"><head><style name="www-roboto">@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:normal;font-weight:400;src:local('Roboto Regular'),local('Roboto-Regular'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto/v15/ek4gzZ-GeXAPcSbHtCeQI_esZW2xOQ-xsNqO47m55DA.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+0460-052F,U+20B4,U+2DE0-2DFF,U+A640-A69F;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:normal;font-weight:400;src:local('Roboto Regular'),local('Roboto-Regular'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto/v15/mErvLBYg_cXG3rLvUsKT_fesZW2xOQ-xsNqO47m55DA.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+0400-045F,U+0490-0491,U+04B0-04B1,U+2116;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:normal;font-weight:400;src:local('Roboto Regular'),local('Roboto-Regular'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto/v15/-2n2p-_Y08sg57CNWQfKNvesZW2xOQ-xsNqO47m55DA.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+1F00-1FFF;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:normal;font-weight:400;src:local('Roboto 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Medium'),local('Roboto-Medium'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto/v15/oOeFwZNlrTefzLYmlVV1UBJtnKITppOI_IvcXXDNrsc.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+0100-024F,U+1E00-1EFF,U+20A0-20AB,U+20AD-20CF,U+2C60-2C7F,U+A720-A7FF;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:normal;font-weight:500;src:local('Roboto Medium'),local('Roboto-Medium'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto/v15/RxZJdnzeo3R5zSexge8UUVtXRa8TVwTICgirnJhmVJw.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+0000-00FF,U+0131,U+0152-0153,U+02C6,U+02DA,U+02DC,U+2000-206F,U+2074,U+20AC,U+2212,U+2215,U+E0FF,U+EFFD,U+F000;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:italic;font-weight:500;src:local('Roboto Medium Italic'),local('Roboto-MediumItalic'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto/v15/OLffGBTaF0XFOW1gnuHF0TTOQ_MqJVwkKsUn0wKzc2I.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+0460-052F,U+20B4,U+2DE0-2DFF,U+A640-A69F;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:italic;font-weight:500;src:local('Roboto Medium Italic'),local('Roboto-MediumItalic'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto/v15/OLffGBTaF0XFOW1gnuHF0TUj_cnvWIuuBMVgbX098Mw.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+0400-045F,U+0490-0491,U+04B0-04B1,U+2116;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:italic;font-weight:500;src:local('Roboto Medium Italic'),local('Roboto-MediumItalic'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto/v15/OLffGBTaF0XFOW1gnuHF0UbcKLIaa1LC45dFaAfauRA.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+1F00-1FFF;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:italic;font-weight:500;src:local('Roboto Medium Italic'),local('Roboto-MediumItalic'),url(//fonts.gstatic.com/s/roboto/v15/OLffGBTaF0XFOW1gnuHF0Wo_sUJ8uO4YLWRInS22T3Y.woff2)format('woff2');unicode-range:U+0370-03FF;}@font-face{font-family:'Roboto';font-style:italic;font-weight:500;src:local('Roboto
Compelling! But oh so true. Couldn't have said it better. I especially like the part where you said "+02DA,U+02DC,U+2000-206F,U+2074,U+20AC,U+2212"
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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oettinger
Ripped Like Reed
Ripped Like Reed
Posts: 9193
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 10:23 am

Re: Quotes from a Dry

Post by oettinger » Fri Sep 23, 2016 9:07 am

^^^ Nasty huh? I was thinking hard about leaving that part out
Is it just me or did the boxed bumwine cork a little bit?
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