Happy Canada day

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ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

Everything I know about Canadians I learned from Red Green and Trailer Park Boys. Oh, and Corner Gas.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought

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ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought

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TheDrunkardAnglo
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Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

Is it true Canadians mouths don't connect to their jaws?

That they have small beady eyes?
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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Badfellow
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Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

Post by Badfellow »

Give me one drunk weekend and a truckload of rednecks, and by god we can take the whole damn country.
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Frankennietzsche
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Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

Post by Frankennietzsche »

The jokes on you, guy. Canadia has its own rednecks in trucks.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

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Badfellow
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Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

Post by Badfellow »

Take off, you hoser.
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Frankennietzsche
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Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

Post by Frankennietzsche »

Fleshy-headed mutant, are you friendly?
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”

"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "

"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"

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Badfellow
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Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

Post by Badfellow »

He saw Jedi 17 times, eh.
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Badfellow
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Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

Post by Badfellow »

What do people do on Canada Day besides drink severely overpriced beer?
Oh, here's an open letter I found to the peeps of Canadia.


Dear Canada,

If you were smart, you'd get the Chinese addicted to maple syrup, then jack up the price when the bastards are jonesing for it. There's where you make your beer money, eh. Then you can have a big party and invite US big Yankee dicks so we can drink all your shit, piss on the floor and jet with your hockey playing girlfriend. And don't forget, you'll have the Chinese knocking on your door at 4:00 AM looking for more of the sweet stuff. Also, if you want to sell Ontario or Vancouver Island, we will trade for a '78 Trans Am and an original vinyl of Led Zeppelin IV.

It's all good, bro,
The United Stated of Murrica
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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Sorry drunkards! Yesterday I forgot to wish ye all a most merry, wonderful, joyful, prosperous, bountiful, snow-free (not sure what else?) Canada Day!
Especially YOU Badfellow, ya hoser! It's like yer 4th of July, eh?***

You rock Canadia! The Great White North country that everyone in the world totally forgets about! Fck yeah!

Image

***For the record, Badfellow isn't really a bona fide Canuck. He just has an affection for cheese curds, Letterkenny, and Tim Horton's donuts, eh.
Okole maluna!

Image

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Badfellow
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Re: Happy Canada day

Post by Badfellow »

Take off, you lederhosehead. Tim Horton's doesn't even crack the top ten on my jelly donut list. Do they even make a blueberry bear claw? My thoughts are sayin' hard freakin' no is the answer to that question.

Yes, I would eat deep fried cheese curds in a canoe with the majestic loon calling in the background. Back bacon, jelly donuts and beer for breakfast, eh.
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scream ale
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Re: Happy Canada day

Post by scream ale »

Badfellow wrote:
Thu Jul 02, 2020 4:04 pm
blueberry bear claw
Such a thing exists? I don't care much for donuts but I make exceptions.

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Badfellow
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Re: Happy Canada day

Post by Badfellow »

scream ale wrote:
Thu Jul 02, 2020 8:17 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Thu Jul 02, 2020 4:04 pm
blueberry bear claw
Such a thing exists? I don't care much for donuts but I make exceptions.
The paw is stuffed with fruit jelly; the claw is the chocolate finisher. What part of that doesn't sound viciously delicious?
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scream ale
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Re: Happy Canada day

Post by scream ale »

The chocolate part. Ack.

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