The Shed

[ThirstyDrunk]

Yeah it's just my shed and I only got a keg of Pabst and a few 30 packs of Hamm's. Also a few bottles of Beam black so share with me. And there are only 4 chairs so you can be a man or stand like a sissy.
Stick around. W e play good music through shitty speakers aand free pretzels
It's gotta be better than them shithole trendy shitholes that keep poppin up around here
Fuck them places don't they suck? You can hang out here and be for america or y9ou can go elsewher e commie.

and if ya gotta shit you gotta go over to the shit talkers parking lot
but i got a funnel for y9our piss in the corner

[mistah willies]

HEY!

Hey can I get some from the keg

Thank ye *chug*.

I snuck in a little nip and tuck, don't tell the keg tender. It's frowned upon, huh. Oh, shit, you're the keg tender huh. Sure, go ahead and have some, that's what it's for, just save me a ship wontcha? Damn. You chugged the whole thing? Hey, don't throw that in the street! That's my favorite plastic flask!

Got any more pretzels here?

Is that a car radio hard wired to a car battery? Yeah, true. It's playing a cassette tape. I like the sound better than CD. Has more hiss.

Wazzat? OK, I'll stop asking so many questions. What's on the television? No? Oh. Ok. I'll just stare at the fire.

Oh you don't have a fire pit?

RUN! the car battery's gonna 'splode!!

[Badfellow]

Hey, I made a satellite dish out of a garbage can lid so the neighbors think you have TV.

Oh, I also drank all your Beam and pissed in the corner. Repeatedly.

[Badfellow]

The other corner. Someone dumped a whole can of spotted dick into your pee funnel.

[Badfellow]

Hey, man. Hope you don't mind but I brought a couple of hookers to hang out at your place for a while. Let me go get 'em, they're in the trunk of my Oldsmobile.

[ThirstyDrunk]

You've come to the right place. I already got a hole dug.

[mistah willies]

I got some stalkers, is there room for that sort?

[Badfellow]

The dirt floor is a nice touch.

[Badfellow]

Really, I'm not sleeping here tonight. Just gonna lay down for a while and puke.

[peetie44]

Hamm's you say...

[Badfellow]

How's abouts we have us a pint of Old Crown Medicine Show and a gallon each of the Hamm's and calls it a frontloadin'?

Damms, I loves this Shed. Where's the pull tabs, Lucky? Yee-hawwwzle!

[ThirstyDrunk]

Bottle cap war this Saturday in The Shed.
Hamm's by the 30 pack and Sailor Jerry 'til it's gone.
And anyone pissing on my garden tools has to sit in the fetid mud/spotted dick corner.

[Badfellow]

If by "garden tools" you mean the shovel you use for digging hooker holes in the lovely moonlight , yeah that was probably me. The thing with drinking 60 or so cans of the Hamm's Refreshing is that it tends to make you piss like the Alaska pipeline, and the thing about the Sailor Jerry is that it tends to make you rather indifferent as to exactly where all this pissing takes place.

So, did I piss on your shovel again? Probably.

Should you keep leaning it in the corner of your shed where I am for some reason drawn to expel my vile deluge of toxic waste product? Probably not.

I'm not saying it's your fault. I'm thinking it, but I'm not saying it. C'mon, let's just drink and have a good time. I'll be right back, need to take a leak.

[oettinger]

Can I have another blast of that nitrous oxide in the corner?

[ThirstyDrunk]

The Shed is only open on Saturdays. Although it only has a Caterpillar lock on it, so anyone with a CAT key can probably get in. If you get in just leave the door open, it probably needs aired out.