Known facts about ThirstyDrunk

[Two Hearted]

Who is this "Thirsty" you speak of?

[Lush City]

no mess remains holy, after he reaches for that last beer in the sink

The sink is where the empties go.

...

Holy fuck! You must be a closet hoarder.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Who is this "Thirsty" you speak of?

Thirsty loves everyone and hates the rest.

[oettinger]

His zookeeper recently told me he behaves way better when hung over

He watches Pumping Iron thinking it`s one of those wacky 80s dating videos

[Two Hearted]

Who is this "Thirsty" you speak of?

Thirsty loves everyone and hates the rest.

Thirsty is the TURTLE KING!
Thirsty's turtle-keeper recently spoke to me. Can't remember what he spoke about though.

.

[Lush City]

His zookeeper recently told me he behaves way better when hung over

He watches Pumping Iron thinking it`s one of those wacky 80s dating videos

Now I know why I resent you . You know two languages and you know more about American culture than most Americans. Tell me, what do you know about Hogan's Hero's? Does Colonel Clink mean anything to you? How about Seargent Schultz? You know nothing, I'm sure.

[oettinger]

On spot Lush, I have no freaking idea!

You left one out though, as Thirsty himself I`m also fluent in drunk gibberish.

[oettinger]

Before the production company decided to air their new show The six million dollar man, starring Lee Majors, they casted Thirsty for a spin-off called The six millon beers man

[Patchez]

He once worked for Elsinore Brewery. Best three weeks of his life.

[ThirstyDrunk]

He once worked for Elsinore Brewery. Best three weeks of his life.

Far out. We used to put baby mice in the bottles back then. didn't work out.

[Bur]

Thirsty actually played all the roles in cut throat nine.

He re-hydrates with bacon grease.

[oettinger]

He once held a very emotional speech in front of a belated crowd

[oettinger]

When he`s cross dressing he`s kinda hot

[mistah willies]

Gentle giant,
who remembers the days
when men were men,
and Germans were ghey (not that there's anything wrong with that *ahem* )

And Ladies were illustrious across this now vacant board
Is everyone dying, or the zombie fakebook hoard?

Proper gentlemen took their seats at Frank's Place
but folks are now stealing them where they used to sit and think,
and joke and rib and burn and slap a face
for ribald humor, along with good ole DRINK.

These days, all is lost, and none can compare
to the old days of proper manners and the visiting in person.
It's all become electrical, vicarious, with no care,
except for those of us who live without a dare.

We DRINK without regard to how the times are always changing.
Regardless of life's circumstances, here is where we meet.
We DRINK as long as we can fly the flag out hanging
And welcome others in from cold and ugly sleet.

How comfortable it is to once again live under the Nuclear Umbrella.
The 50's, 60's, 70's, and radioactive 80's are our new found fella.

DRINK.

[oettinger]

^^^ did someone die again?