Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

[Lush City]

I accomplished a Total Palinka on these here boards by simply being overly offended.

[Savage]

My day? Well, still alive, and fit to die from the effing heat in Tumbleweed Junction. Air conditioning crayapped out, right after we paid some damn fool to fix it up. I'm going to track him down, and make him eat my condenser. I'll make his dog watch.

[DrunkAgain]

I left the board for a long while only to come back to find Liz, Mayhem and other have passed.
I'm heartbroken and in tears.

FUCK!!!

[Sammy]

My day? Well, I went to visit my folks. Ma hasn't been doing too well lately and Pa is half crippled. However, Ma seems to be doing much better now and cooked me a pot roast. Plus, I got to drink some of Pa's beer and gin, so it was a good day!

[Patchez]

Tuesday was actually a pretty decent day. My Facebook whiskey group helped a localish candy store do a Knob Creek barrel select for sale at the store. I'd never been involved with a barrel pick before so I ventured forth.

[Artful Drunktective]

The other day a friend "Malibu Laurie" (as Badfellow coined due to her mass consumption of Malibu rum) came over to day drink. When she arrived she actually said to me "Strap yer nads on!" ?!?!?!?!?

But then she was having that annoying habit of talking on the phone periodically while we are hanging out. Twas quite distracting and interfering with our quality drinking time. So while she is yapping away I go online figuring I would talk to drunk people that actually want to hang out and happened to mention it to said fellow drunkards.

Old Smart Skunk said that Malibu Laurie needs "Blunt force trauma to the pussy". (And not in a good way mind you).

Without even knowing what Skunk said, Badfellow said she "needs a roundhouse kick to the vag. Then grab her empty bottle of Malibu and beat her senseless. Then follow up with a Figure Four Leg Lock. Another kung fu wrestling move you could try is the Flying Butt Pliers which is devastating when properly executed. Shoot her with your bean bag gun, then hit her with bear mace, and ten Chinese stars to the vag".

There's a lot o' hatin' of Malibu Laurie and her vag.

As tempting as those suggestions were, none of those things happened or I would have ended up being thrown through a glass window. But I did promptly tell her these things which she hysterically laughed and then said "There better not be anything written about Laurie Malibu's vag on the drunkard board!!!"

I don't know which part of that sentence is more adorable. The fact that she called herself her own coined nickname unsuccessfully or that she doesn't think it won't end up on the board. I might not win the battle but won the war.

[Lush City]

The other day a friend "Malibu Laurie" (as Badfellow coined due to her mass consumption of Malibu rum) came over to day drink. When she arrived she actually said to me "Strap yer nads on!" ?!?!?!?!?

But then she was having that annoying habit of talking on the phone periodically while we are hanging out. Twas quite distracting and interfering with our quality drinking time. So while she is yapping away I go online figuring I would talk to drunk people that actually want to hang out and happened to mention it to said fellow drunkards.

Old Smart Skunk said that Malibu Laurie needs "Blunt force trauma to the pussy". (And not in a good way mind you).

Without even knowing what Skunk said, Badfellow said she "needs a roundhouse kick to the vag. Then grab her empty bottle of Malibu and beat her senseless. Then follow up with a Figure Four Leg Lock. Another kung fu wrestling move you could try is the Flying Butt Pliers which is devastating when properly executed. Shoot her with your bean bag gun, then hit her with bear mace, and ten Chinese stars to the vag".

There's a lot o' hatin' of Malibu Laurie and her vag.

As tempting as those suggestions were, none of those things happened or I would have ended up being thrown through a glass window. But I did promptly tell her these things which she hysterically laughed and then said "There better not be anything written about Laurie Malibu's vag on the drunkard board!!!"

I don't know which part of that sentence is more adorable. The fact that she called herself her own coined nickname unsuccessfully or that she doesn't think it won't end up on the board. I might not win the battle but won the war.

I'm going to sue you for the hernia you just gave me over this ridiculous story!

[Artful Drunktective]

I'm going to sue you for the hernia you just gave me over this ridiculous story!

I have a really good lawyer. ME!

[Savage]

Well, first there was peanut. Then cashew. There was no kleenex left, but fortunately, I was still sitting by the tp...stop me if you've heard this one.

[Artful Drunktective]

im sorry that im hear. I should be at wurk twrulin on a poll and given lap danses to teh old dudes. Me an my bff both wurk their. But i usilly don lik dick. But il mak a exepshion for yuo sammy. Com by the club.

Hmm...I thought you liked dick.

[Sammy]

After a pot of coffee and breakfast, I went on patrol around the Hacienda in my golf cart, armed with a loaded 12 gauge and a cooler full of beer. It's necessary this time of year cuz of snakes, of which I dispatched a few, so now I'm hitting some vodka. Gotta protect my dogs man! I hate rattle snakes!

[Dear Booze]

I spent the day blowin' old dudes in the alley for crack.

Come on Art, you're better than that.

I also gave out a few handies for $5 each. It was a great day.

Glad your day was great

[oettinger]

Can you please kiss and hug now?!

[ThirstyDrunk]

work. drink.

[oettinger]

work. drink.

Congrats, you found a new drink? I`m so happy for you!