The Tijuana Whore

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Badfellow
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The Tijuana Whore

Post by Badfellow » Wed Jul 05, 2017 5:43 pm

For your amusement, I do submit this drink recipe as proof that an overall lack of variety in ingredients can sometimes serve as unexpected inspiration. It's not necessarily what you're dealt, but what you do with it that's important. In this case, it's working silver tequila into a pimpin' summertime drink without proper margarita supplies or the benefit of giving a fuck.

Cheers, and enjoy.

The Tijuana Whore

4 oz. Silver Tequila
1 oz. Cheap assed sparkling white wine
3 oz. Mango juice
1 splash Brine from a jar of pickled jalapeños

Mix that shit into a tumbler over plenty of ice, stir with a cheap switchblade. Consume while sitting in a lawn chair and wearing a grimy tank top, 12k gold chains optional.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Re: The Tijuana Whore

Post by mistah willies » Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:13 pm

^ ^ ^

That would be sweet/spicy/salty. Reminds me of necking Kraken while eating fish tacos with pico de someshit in my greasy bathrobe on the lawn outside, stirring the freezer crust into the glass with my favorite KFC spork, but yours is much more badass.

Mine sounds like a poor divorced fuck.






#not divorced*




*fuck the hashtag

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Re: The Tijuana Whore

Post by Artful Drunktective » Thu Jul 06, 2017 1:43 pm

Grimy tank tops? Greasy bath robes? You guys need to pull yourselves together!

Climb into Badfellow's beat up truck, drive out of your trailer parks and over to the local Walmart, and buy yourselves some fresh new skivvies. (Pick some up for Oett while you're at it since everyone always tells him to change his whites). And maybe grab some swizzle sticks although a spork is a perfectly acceptable utensil to stir a drink with. At least you can use the fork portion to scrape that freezer ice. I wouldn't recommend the switchblade...it was used to skin the squirrel from last night's supper.

So was the Tijuana Whore inspired after a real person?
(Insert where Dear Booze will say "Whoreful Detective" but that is an entirely different type of drink that includes a specific brand of vodka).

Next drink recipe - The Ho Chi Minh Ho with rượu rắn là gì (snake wine/whiskey).
Last edited by Artful Drunktective on Fri Jul 21, 2017 12:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Tijuana Whore

Post by mistah willies » Thu Jul 06, 2017 8:58 pm

Well, perhaps, but consider this, Artful Dominatrix:

A greasy bathrobe is a personal dive bar. Now to get some LED ropes.

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Re: The Tijuana Whore

Post by Artful Drunktective » Fri Jul 07, 2017 12:56 pm

mistah willies wrote:
Thu Jul 06, 2017 8:58 pm
Well, perhaps, but consider this, Artful Dominatrix:

A greasy bathrobe is a personal dive bar. Now to get some LED ropes.
Artful Dominatrix is a different drink containing black Sambuca.
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Re: The Tijuana Whore

Post by Dear Booze » Wed Jul 19, 2017 8:17 pm

Artful Detective wrote:
Fri Jul 07, 2017 12:56 pm
Artful Dominatrix is a different drink containing black Sambuca.
ALL SAMBUCA MATTERS!
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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Re: The Tijuana Whore

Post by Badfellow » Thu Jul 20, 2017 11:19 pm

mistah willies wrote:
Thu Jul 06, 2017 8:58 pm
Well, perhaps, but consider this, Artful Dominatrix:

A greasy bathrobe is a personal dive bar. Now to get some LED ropes.
Wait... a greasy bathrobe IS a personal dive bar... that you can wear wherever you go...

The pockets can hold chipped glassware, melting ice cubes, bottles of spit-cut swill, extra lithium ion packs for the LED rope lights and an Italian circus midget bouncer hiding out in your commando regions next to a baseball bat and a pack of Mesothelioma 100 Special Blends.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Re: The Tijuana Whore

Post by Artful Drunktective » Sun Aug 27, 2017 4:14 pm

*Borat woice* Who is this Tijuana Cum Dumpster?!
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Re: The Tijuana Whore

Post by Artful Drunktective » Sun Aug 27, 2017 4:16 pm

And why aren't more sock puppets involved?!?!
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Re: The Tijuana Whore

Post by oettinger » Fri Sep 01, 2017 10:24 am

A Tijuana Whore is a drunk woman that is lucky enough to get paid for her never ending lust for old fat greasy men.

BF, you should have put something greasy in the recipe
I do not remember posting that ^^^
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Re: The Tijuana Whore

Post by Badfellow » Thu Oct 05, 2017 3:21 pm

oettinger wrote:
Fri Sep 01, 2017 10:24 am
BF, you should have put something greasy in the recipe
Yes, you're right. Unfortunately, all the bacon grease was dabbed up from the frying pan by some drunk fucker with a loaf of $0.99 white bread.

Next time, I'm going to spring for some prosciutto or Duroc ham. Life is too short to deprive yourself of anything.


Artful Detective wrote:
Thu Jul 06, 2017 1:43 pm

Next drink recipe - The Ho Chi Minh Ho with rượu rắn là gì (snake wine/whiskey).
Indeed, madam. I take this as a challenge. Bring on the lao lao!
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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