Functional Retardic?

[wtf]

So, what is the expert advice on being a functional, alcoholic parent?

[shawnonious]

I'm going to counter-signal here.

Don't. Having a child would be one of the things that would really reign me in. Being a father, with a stable career, is my end goal in life. Seriously, put your child first. Nothing wrong with saucing on the weekends when there's a babysitter. But if there's not, either you're going to have marital problems, or severe problems with child-rearing if you both do it, and the State is going to take the child. You are at the state where you have a dependent human being, relying on you. Plese don't fuck this up.

When it comes to kids, suck it up, and be there for them, and undrunk the fuck up.

Be a good father. Be there. Don't be a douchecanoe. I was with the love of my life, and had cleaned up, and still lost this chance to be a father, for various reasons. Don't lose this.Two years down the line, it still hurts thinking about her, and the child she's had. Don't be me. undrunk up. Seize what you have.

Unless you're the fuckin' dude that ruined my chance with the love of my life. Then, eh, hit the everclear, please.

[mistah willies]

^ ^ ^

Dayam, B, that was the moment of clarity.

It's true that a Modern Drunkard takes care of business like a professional, in everything approached. Be it drinking, or raising a young 'un, or "seizing what you have"

It's unseemly to be a staggering, blathering fool all 24 hours of the day.

[oettinger]

Yep I second what Brandonman said. This is why I`ll probably never become a father. They took my ex girlfriends child away just like he described. Her drunk crying sessions especially during christmas time were brutal to endure

[Badfellow]

What exactly do we mean by "alcoholic"? As a kid, I grew up around relatives who constantly had a beer in hand, and by some forms of definition they were all alcoholics.

Children being exposed to alcohol through culture and family is a fairly normal thing. Not that a person should get shitfaced in front of their kid, mind you, unless of course your kid is old enough to buy you drinks. Denying that alcohol exists in front of children is no better than getting drunk and neglecting them.

Just saying, the take on the question may be more complicated than appears at first glance.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Bullshit. Fuck a bunch of kids, Stay just undrunk enough to make money to stay drunk.

If i had a kid I would name him:
1. Popeye
2. Chertse Belovski
3. P'Tak
4. Special Patrol Group
5. Adolph

[Nausea]

Fuck a bunch of kids, Stay just undrunk enough to make money to stay drunk.

I'm with you, except on the fucking a bunch of kids part.

[oettinger]

Bullshit. Fuck a bunch of kids, Stay just undrunk enough to make money to stay drunk.

If i had a kid I would kill it

Number zero:=?!"§& 0

.1 Shitface
69 upside down, inside out
100001644783737373 Catlitter #899088909090

1. Popeye
2. Chertse Belovski
3. P'Tak
4. Special Patrol Group
5. Adolph

Aha!
Always knew you were a child lover.
No ahem, meant, you are some lovely ch... ah fakk
Don`t quote me in court with this plz

[Badfellow]

3. P'Tak

Hey, cool! That's the Klingon word for feces!

I'd name my first born Stoopid Littlefucker.

[ScottMcG]

As a kid, I grew up around relatives who constantly had a beer in hand...

Just saying, the take on the question may be more complicated than appears at first glance.

Same here. At every family gathering, my parents or relatives had alcohol at hand. The nannies...or is it the ninnies...say that is alcoholism. Neither of my parents are alcoholics. I believe we need to be careful how we label behaviors.

[Badfellow]

Alcoholism is a belief, not a disease.

[RIPT2.0]

As a kid, I grew up around relatives who constantly had a beer in hand...

Just saying, the take on the question may be more complicated than appears at first glance.

Same here. At every family gathering, my parents or relatives had alcohol at hand. The nannies...or is it the ninnies...say that is alcoholism. Neither of my parents are alcoholics. I believe we need to be careful how we label behaviors.

Well, mine are, at least in the world of politically correct definitions. Now that my Dad is 83 and my Mom is 87 they've toned down their act quite a bit. If Dad drinks too much he falls down. If Mom drinks too much she becomes very opinionated, so they both strive to behave in public. But there was a time when the Manhattens flowed every evening before dinner, with at least a few beers to follow after dinner. The fact that they're still alive and living independently means there's a small shred of hope for me! It's in my blood. I not only accept that I embrace it!

[mistah willies]

As a kid, I grew up around relatives who constantly had a beer in hand...

Just saying, the take on the question may be more complicated than appears at first glance.

Same here. At every family gathering, my parents or relatives had alcohol at hand. The nannies...or is it the ninnies...say that is alcoholism. Neither of my parents are alcoholics. I believe we need to be careful how we label behaviors.

Well, mine are, at least in the world of politically correct definitions. Now that my Dad is 83 and my Mom is 87 they've toned down their act quite a bit. If Dad drinks too much he falls down. If Mom drinks too much she becomes very opinionated, so they both strive to behave in public. But there was a time when the Manhattens flowed every evening before dinner, with at least a few beers to follow after dinner. The fact that they're still alive and living independently means there's a small shred of hope for me! It's in my blood. I not only accept that I embrace it!

These are your Modern Drunkards, most certainly. In quick assessment of the data provided in all of the responses in this thread to the O.P., it is sufficient to say: If you can't handle your booze and a job, then don't bring kids into the equation.

[RIPT2.0]

Same here. At every family gathering, my parents or relatives had alcohol at hand. The nannies...or is it the ninnies...say that is alcoholism. Neither of my parents are alcoholics. I believe we need to be careful how we label behaviors.

Well, mine are, at least in the world of politically correct definitions. Now that my Dad is 83 and my Mom is 87 they've toned down their act quite a bit. If Dad drinks too much he falls down. If Mom drinks too much she becomes very opinionated, so they both strive to behave in public. But there was a time when the Manhattens flowed every evening before dinner, with at least a few beers to follow after dinner. The fact that they're still alive and living independently means there's a small shred of hope for me! It's in my blood. I not only accept that I embrace it!

These are your Modern Drunkards, most certainly. In quick assessment of the data provided in all of the responses in this thread to the O.P., it is sufficient to say: If you can't handle your booze and a job, then don't bring kids into the equation.

Yup, and I might add that my folks raised 5 kids too. We never lacked for anything growing up. We lived in a nice house in a desirable suburb and had a summer cottage on a nearby lake. While we didn't all go to college, my Dad made sure that those of us who wanted to went to the best University we could get accepted to.

[Badfellow]

...If you can't handle your booze and a job, then don't bring kids into the equation.

And that about sums it up.