chef boyardee chicken alfredo

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scream ale
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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by scream ale » Sat Aug 04, 2018 12:12 pm

mistah willies wrote:
Fri Aug 03, 2018 4:18 am
scream ale wrote:
Thu Aug 02, 2018 7:17 pm
Finally chef boyardee put to good use.
Did you see that one ravioli hop out and scurry away?
It's multiplying now, and the babies will be strong like that one.
We're friggin doomed!
Attack of the ravioli monsters!!!! Run for your lives!!!!
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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by mistah willies » Sat Aug 04, 2018 9:54 pm

scream ale wrote:
Sat Aug 04, 2018 12:12 pm

Attack of the ravioli monsters!!!! Run for your lives!!!!
There should be a movie.
Now for a script...

You go first

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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by Badfellow » Sun Aug 05, 2018 10:26 am

In 2130, the Colonial Marines were deployed to counteract a reported infestation of raviolimorphs on the colony world Beefaroni 459. They thought it was going to be just another bug hunt. They were wrong... dead wrong.
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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by scream ale » Sun Aug 05, 2018 10:35 am

mistah willies wrote:
Sat Aug 04, 2018 9:54 pm
scream ale wrote:
Sat Aug 04, 2018 12:12 pm

Attack of the ravioli monsters!!!! Run for your lives!!!!
There should be a movie.
Now for a script...

You go first
Movies like that don't really need things like scripts or plots or other things many other movies have. All they need is boobs and really really shitty looking monsters.
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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by Badfellow » Mon Aug 06, 2018 10:43 am

Here we have our opening scene: teenage couple parked in a car at Makeout/Axe Murderer Point. Dude gets fresh with chic while radio plays special report detailing escape of radioactive ravioli or whatever the fuck. Chic takes off bra, but ignoring all laws of testosterone, dude exits car to investigate strange noise. Dude gets eaten by mutant ravioli monster. Chic screams. Cue song by Nine Inch Nails. Roll credits. The end.
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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by scream ale » Mon Aug 06, 2018 6:30 pm

Badfellow wrote:
Mon Aug 06, 2018 10:43 am
Here we have our opening scene: teenage couple parked in a car at Makeout/Axe Murderer Point. Dude gets fresh with chic while radio plays special report detailing escape of radioactive ravioli or whatever the fuck. Chic takes off bra, but ignoring all laws of testosterone, dude exits car to investigate strange noise. Dude gets eaten by mutant ravioli monster. Chic screams. Cue song by Nine Inch Nails. Roll credits. The end.
Mmhmm...Looks good, could be the next box office bomb. Just a few changes maybe. Change make out to hand job. No special report detailing an escape. Instead a broadcast of "war of the worlds". Dude is a dumbass and flees in terror leaving topless flat chested chick alone to be eaten alive by the big titted mutant ravioli from mars. Dumbass trips gets hit by a car cue the white zombie track. Credits roll post credits feature Freddy Kreuger's glove popping out of the ground for no real reason. The end.
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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by mistah willies » Tue Aug 07, 2018 4:24 am

scream ale wrote:
Mon Aug 06, 2018 6:30 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Mon Aug 06, 2018 10:43 am
Here we have our opening scene: teenage couple parked in a car at Makeout/Axe Murderer Point. Dude gets fresh with chic while radio plays special report detailing escape of radioactive ravioli or whatever the fuck. Chic takes off bra, but ignoring all laws of testosterone, dude exits car to investigate strange noise. Dude gets eaten by mutant ravioli monster. Chic screams. Cue song by Nine Inch Nails. Roll credits. The end.
Mmhmm...Looks good, could be the next box office bomb. Just a few changes maybe. Change make out to hand job. No special report detailing an escape. Instead a broadcast of "war of the worlds". Dude is a dumbass and flees in terror leaving topless flat chested chick alone to be eaten alive by the big titted mutant ravioli from mars. Dumbass trips gets hit by a car cue the white zombie track. Credits roll post credits feature Freddy Kreuger's glove popping out of the ground for no real reason. The end.
Hollywood mogul Casty "The Finger" McCouch:

"You two have a fine product here! I think we can use this. Imagine the money we're gonna make! I'll put you in with some of my best producers to finesse this for production and make it top notch for the audience.

"Now, we gotta think of tie-ins. I want youse to have the best product placement we can think of that actually makes sense in a fine production as this will be.

"I got one for ya, transformers. All the kids like those and dinosaurs right? I'm talking real, electrical transformers. Let's make the ravioli monster turn into beefaroni with all those can machine noises they do when they change.

"Now we're talking. And vampires and zombies, ya get me? We'll have flaming gay vampire zombies that turn into werewolves and kiss each other. Their skin gets all sparkly and glisteny in the friggin sunlight then they whack each other off. Ya feeling this? Ok. Which one of you is first on the couch. Or you both can."

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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by mistah willies » Tue Aug 07, 2018 2:52 pm

Hollywood Director Arty "80 Takes" Filchenhammer:

"Good to meet you young partners in this epic film! And by Epic, I see a franchise here. I can visualize a fifteen movie series Trilogy here. Like LOTR, but with robotic ravioli and beefaroni. It's like a spaghetti western, but updated!

"Of course, you'll be represented in the half-hour opening cartoon credits before the movie actually begins, and it will be glorious!

"Opening scene: we see a can of ravioli being attacked by the forces of mother nature! Slow moving and hot, like Estelle Getty. But wait! There's more. The can will be played by the explosive power of Vin Diesel. He simmers, you know. He is seething, he's restraining his unbridled rage just below his glistening skin.

"The ravioli will be Andy Serkis in GGI . The beefaroni will be him as well. That man can bring anything to life and make you cry. He can do both parts. But no dialogue between himself in both characters. We're not intruding on that.

"Now let's hear about your action lead. Also, we need an African American actor to die first. Sorry guys, but there are Hollywood rules here.

"Now who's first on the couch? Or both? Yeah yeah, I'm not gay either. But there are Hollywood standards we must uphold. Don't worry, I brought my own lube and condoms."

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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by mistah willies » Wed Aug 08, 2018 3:37 pm

Status Report from producers:

TALENT:
Estelle Geddy agent unavailable.
Vin Diesel agent [Verbatim/sic]: Mr. Diesel respectfully declines this opportunity and looks forward to working with you in the future but he ain't facking taking no job if it's him in a friggin soup can. You gotta be kidding me. He's got that glistening skin and a great physique which he works in all de time, so NO! But please call us up for the sequel if this one works out. We can go from there.

[Need to contact Nick Cage]

Andy Serkis agent: Nope.

ILM: How did you get this number?

PIXAR: We only do cartoons.

SUMMARY REPORT: Utilize stop motion photography, hand puppets, and rubber suits.

No CGI.

[Boss, can we use the couch for the pron shoot this weekend?]

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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by scream ale » Wed Aug 08, 2018 6:21 pm

mistah willies wrote:
Wed Aug 08, 2018 3:37 pm
Status Report from producers:

TALENT:
Estelle Geddy agent unavailable.
Vin Diesel agent [Verbatim/sic]: Mr. Diesel respectfully declines this opportunity and looks forward to working with you in the future but he ain't facking taking no job if it's him in a friggin soup can. You gotta be kidding me. He's got that glistening skin and a great physique which he works in all de time, so NO! But please call us up for the sequel if this one works out. We can go from there.

[Need to contact Nick Cage]

Andy Serkis agent: Nope.

ILM: How did you get this number?

PIXAR: We only do cartoons.

SUMMARY REPORT: Utilize stop motion photography, hand puppets, and rubber suits.

No CGI.

[Boss, can we use the couch for the pron shoot this weekend?]
No Estelle Geddy? That's a problem. A big one.

Fuck pixar, whiny whimps. Definetly gonna need the hand puppets and rubber suits though.
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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by Badfellow » Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:33 pm

Has anyone tried contacting Steve Gutenberg for this project? He's looking for work, like literally- he was fired from his bus boy position at Denny's last week for forcing autographs on the customers and taking bites out of their food. Now, granted; Steve is no Vin Diesel. But if he puts on another fifty pounds and talks with an overwrought wop accent, he'd make the perfect stand in for the Boyardee role.
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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by Badfellow » Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:38 pm

Oh, almost forgot. I talked to the guys over at Pixar. The 150ft. tall CGI penis is no problem for the disaster scene, but the whole giant mutant vagina thing would run us way over budget.
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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by Badfellow » Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:29 pm

Hey there, folks. If you're having trouble sleeping, just listen to this captivating interview of Steve Guttenberg blathering on about his pointless "career" as an actor. I'm telling ya, the guy is better than valium.
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Nostalgic crap food

Post by Artful Drunktective » Sat May 04, 2019 1:41 am

I thought about this thread recently when I was thinking back on all the crap food I ate as a youth, most of which I liked and still like. Cup o' Noodles for example. It went from being crap food from youth to drunkard delicacies for adults.

I ate all the Chef Boyardee of course. Spaghettios and Chicken n' Stars soup. But I grew up on the cusp where there really wasn't any such things as chicken nuggets that the children of today seemingly live off of. McDonald's didn't even have McNuggets until like, the early 80's. So in my tragic youth I ate a lot of fish sticks and tartar sauce. At one point, I even remember battered "fish balls" (no, not the testicular kind) and for the life of me, I can't find proof of their existence (and probably for good reason). Please tell me one of you drunkards know what I'm talkin' about.

Then there were Saturdays where Mom was at work so Dad had to feed us lunch and if it wasn't a grilled cheese, it was religiously a Swanson's frozen dinner, which my brother and I happily ate without complaint. He always had the Salisbury steak and I, the fish n' chips. (You'd think I would have picked something other than fish but whatever that's beside the point).

I pretty much liked it all but I DESPISED this potted meat. My mom would just smear it on a piece of white bread and handed it over. It was up there on the list of non-triumphant things like her telling me to go outside and "run through the sprinklers". As if that was ever effing fun. I realize now that it was her way to get me and my brother out of the house for a few hours...probably so she could smoke a doob or something.

So what crap foods from your youth do you have fond memories of? Do you still eat it?


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Re: chef boyardee chicken alfredo

Post by mistah willies » Sat May 04, 2019 7:07 am

^ ^ ^

Potted meat, but not Spam® Ayuh

But if you had some boiled eggs and cut them in half, and mixed the dry yolks with Hellman's and that potted meat...

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