Drunkard Injuries

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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givemesomepils
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by givemesomepils »

oettinger wrote:
Sun May 21, 2017 6:47 am
This is so totally you. Wow. Is the car ok?
Its fine vut it wont start until i replace the airbags, which is pissing me off because airbags for a 98 f150 are impossible to find.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." hunter s. thompson god rest his soul

givemesomepils
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by givemesomepils »

mistah willies wrote:
Sun May 21, 2017 2:42 pm
oettinger wrote:
Sun May 21, 2017 6:47 am
This is so totally you. Wow. Is the car ok?

Friggin Oett; "Yeah yeah, you're OK, but what about the car?"


Good to see you are still alive. You must have three lives left, huh Pils?



.
Tbh im suprised too with the way my days go sometimes
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." hunter s. thompson god rest his soul

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

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givemesomepils wrote:
Sun May 21, 2017 4:53 pm
its fine vut it wont start until i replace the airbags, which is pissing me off because airbags for a 98 f150 are impossible to find.
scrapyard? there must be a load of rusted out '98 F150s. Otherwise I'm sure a decent motor mechanic could bypass the detector
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best

givemesomepils
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by givemesomepils »

Mr. Viking wrote:
Mon May 22, 2017 2:15 pm
givemesomepils wrote:
Sun May 21, 2017 4:53 pm
its fine vut it wont start until i replace the airbags, which is pissing me off because airbags for a 98 f150 are impossible to find.
scrapyard? there must be a load of rusted out '98 F150s. Otherwise I'm sure a decent motor mechanic could bypass the detector
It is hard to find airbags for this model that werent deployed. This sucks because the truck is fine.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." hunter s. thompson god rest his soul

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by mistah willies »

givemesomepils wrote:
Mon May 22, 2017 2:30 pm
Mr. Viking wrote:
Mon May 22, 2017 2:15 pm
givemesomepils wrote:
Sun May 21, 2017 4:53 pm
its fine vut it wont start until i replace the airbags, which is pissing me off because airbags for a 98 f150 are impossible to find.
scrapyard? there must be a load of rusted out '98 F150s. Otherwise I'm sure a decent motor mechanic could bypass the detector
It is hard to find airbags for this model that werent deployed. This sucks because the truck is fine.
Yip. If you'd only totaled the truck, then you could have gotten some cash back. Next time, crash more thoroughly, me lad!

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oettinger »

Never trust a doctor not as drunk as you
Drinking heavily is a basic instinct
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buzzsaw
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

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After a couple week hiatus, unfortunately scraped my shoulder on a homemade door lock in my home. It looked exactly like another female had scratched me during some amazing sex (that never happened). Try convincing a woman that... smh

Just to insult to injury... I stupidly put a used pregnancy test to hang out of the bathroom shelf and sprayed a little perfume next to the toilet (in a light hearted attempt to make a mockery of my shoulder wound) before my ("ex") showed up. That joke didn't go over too well

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Ouroboros »

A camping trip, & a bottle of Macallan Director’s Edition. I have an eight inch scar down the side of my leg, and not the faintest idea how it got there... woke up in my tent the next day with my sleeping bag glued to my calf with blood, and my drinking buddy also wondering what the hell happened.

Not my only drunk injury, but my favorite story.
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Artful Drunktective »

buzzsaw wrote:
Wed Jan 30, 2019 5:28 pm


Just to insult to injury... I stupidly put a used pregnancy test to hang out of the bathroom shelf and sprayed a little perfume next to the toilet (in a light hearted attempt to make a mockery of my shoulder wound) before my ("ex") showed up. That joke didn't go over too well
You got used pregnancy tests just laying around? Hmm. Not sure if I should say "Wow" or "Ewww!". Hope it was negative!

I had the epitome of a drunkard injury that put me in the hospital for a month. Not a proud moment nor a good time by any means. Let's just say now I'm a wee bit more careful...
"Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze".


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scream ale
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by scream ale »

buzzsaw wrote:
Wed Jan 30, 2019 5:28 pm
After a couple week hiatus, unfortunately scraped my shoulder on a homemade door lock in my home. It looked exactly like another female had scratched me during some amazing sex (that never happened). Try convincing a woman that... smh

Just to insult to injury... I stupidly put a used pregnancy test to hang out of the bathroom shelf and sprayed a little perfume next to the toilet (in a light hearted attempt to make a mockery of my shoulder wound) before my ("ex") showed up. That joke didn't go over too well
People just hang on to pre enjoyed pregnancy tests? People will collect any and everything I guess.
Last edited by scream ale on Sun Feb 03, 2019 8:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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oettinger
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oettinger »

scream ale wrote:
Sat Feb 02, 2019 11:57 pm
buzzsaw wrote:
Wed Jan 30, 2019 5:28 pm
After a couple week hiatus, unfortunately scraped my shoulder on a homemade door lock in my home. It looked exactly like another female had scratched me during some amazing sex (that never happened). Try convincing a woman that... smh

Just to insult to injury... I stupidly put a used pregnancy test to hang out of the bathroom shelf and sprayed a little perfume next to the toilet (in a light hearted attempt to make a mockery of my shoulder wound) before my ("ex") showed up. That joke didn't go over too well
People just hang on to pre enjoyed pregnancy tests? People will any and everything I guess.
I got black, white, red, yellow and retard (yeah that`s a collour) for you on offer. Super white and super black cost extra

Back to topic I burn myself often when drunk
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by mistah willies »

Palinka (RIP) wrote:
Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:39 am
I once came-to to find a bloodied footprint on the ceiling. To this day I have no idea how it got there. I mean, I know how I cut my feet; I got really fucked up and passed out with an ashtray on my chest, which smashed on the floor when I turned over, whilst sleeping, and then I cut my feet on the broken glass when I staggered up for a piss and another few shots of Pálinka (I was in Hungary, in those days). So the bloodied footprints on the floor and the bed are completely explainable but the one on the ceiling? And Hungarian rooms have really high ceilings. Weird.
Friggin miss the Dude.

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Rye and Coke »

mistah willies wrote:
Sun Feb 03, 2019 7:56 pm
Palinka (RIP) wrote:
Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:39 am
I once came-to to find a bloodied footprint on the ceiling. To this day I have no idea how it got there. I mean, I know how I cut my feet; I got really fucked up and passed out with an ashtray on my chest, which smashed on the floor when I turned over, whilst sleeping, and then I cut my feet on the broken glass when I staggered up for a piss and another few shots of Pálinka (I was in Hungary, in those days). So the bloodied footprints on the floor and the bed are completely explainable but the one on the ceiling? And Hungarian rooms have really high ceilings. Weird.
Friggin miss the Dude.
I never knew him, but I see the love and respect he inspired. So I raise a glass to him.

As for me, my most recent and insane injury occurred when I had visited my neighborhood bar after a really tough week at work. It was just to blow off some steam. I usually drink alone from my cache at home, but this time I said 'screw it, I need to be outdoors.'

There's something about being around 'your kind' as it were; and my kind tend to be drunkards of all races, genders, makes and models at this establishment. So off I went.

I had already primed myself with a few glasses earlier in the evening and was only planning on having a couple of doubles.

Well that shit didn't happen, lol. I didn't mention it earlier, but the owner of the bar and I had become friendly thanks to our shared love of professional wrestling. So as soon as I walk in the door, he's like "Rye, get over here! What's going on man!" He and his wife are TRASHED and he's just ordering us shot after shot of Fireball. My last memory was of slapping him on the back, heading to the bar for my second double and...that was a wrap.

Through the ink blot-dark, bog of eternal gladness that was my blackout, I remember falling backwards through a door, a bathroom, and my god, some type of nudity.

My wife found me at the foot of our basement, in the aforementioned state of undress, sporting a velociraptor claw-shaped, bleeding wound on my left triceps. The walls around me looked like a Pollock painting of red fingerprints. To this day I have NO IDEA what happened. Obviously, I made it home, which is no mean feat seeing as to get to the bar, I have to cross a pretty high bridge and a couple lanes of traffic. However, it was after midnight, so I was pretty safe in that aspect as there was no one on the road.

What did I do? Did I destroy his bathroom? What did I say? I have no earthly idea, so much so that I'm probably never going back there again. Hahaha. I can't deal with that fallout. Just another bridge burned I guess.

Then again, maybe I will sneak back one day, under the cover of a thick blanket of time. Maybe I'll find I did nothing at all, and was only guilty of injuring myself on my way home from having one of the greatest times in a while.
"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why." - Redd Foxx

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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by oettinger »

Rye and Coke wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 4:13 pm
I remember falling backwards
Don`t we all?

Somewhere I posted about being wasted in a bar being located on a very steep hill. I did some nice lumpia-rolls. No cab driver would drive me home after wittnessing it
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Re: Drunkard Injuries

Post by Rye and Coke »

Rye and Coke wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 4:13 pm

What did I do? Did I destroy his bathroom? What did I say? I have no earthly idea, so much so that I'm probably never going back there again. Hahaha. I can't deal with that fallout. Just another bridge burned I guess.

Then again, maybe I will sneak back one day, under the cover of a thick blanket of time. Maybe I'll find I did nothing at all, and was only guilty of injuring myself on my way home from having one of the greatest times in a while.
So I sneaked back in recently and sheepishly asked the bartender if I had done anything...unseemly. The small female bartender only smiled at me devilishly and assured me that I did nothing, or at least she hadn't heard that I'd done anything. She does remember them bringing up my name for some reason tho'...

which of course means...

I did some shit.

Haha, whatever, at least I now know that I'm not banished from the place. Cheers to that.
"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why." - Redd Foxx

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