Tragedy Has Struck

[Brother Bluto]

I live in a 1.5 horse college town where the Muni is the only liquor store allowed. Yesterday, flooding damaged caused them to close indefinitely. I drove by an hour ago and there are lots of cleaning vehicles out front and a few people moving in and out, but they are very much still closed. I can't get a response from anyone in the city as to when they might reopen.
Now, I'm generally prepared for such an emergency and am fairly well stocked in personal provisions. However, I plan to have guests this weekend and some of them arrive already tomorrow night. How am I supposed to entertain in these conditions?!

-Bluto

[Nausea]

That's a major bummer.

Do you have no other recourse?

[scream ale]

Advise them of the tragedy. Maybe they'll bring emergency supplies.

[mistah willies]

I live in a 1.5 horse college town where the Muni is the only liquor store allowed... How am I supposed to entertain in these conditions?!

-Bluto

The horror! Absolute, abject horror. Your candy store is gone.
I simply cannot imagine. That there is truth, Bluto.

Hmmmm...

Mayhaps a road trip with the first crew to arrive?

Hmm

Too late to start brewing/distilling/pilfering form neighbor's house.

Hmmm

No. Pills are out of the question for entertaining. Meth and crack as well.

Chris Rock once quipped, "when crack shows up at a party, it's time to get the hell out."

Hand/sock/dick puppets are out of the question without serious boozing.

Bluto, I have no idea.

You simply must report what happened next.

Duuuude. Gawdayam.

[Patchez]

Advise them of the tragedy. Maybe they'll bring emergency supplies.

This seems like it might work.

The only other recourse will be a dangerous trek through floodwaters to nearby towns with open candy stores. Calling ahead will be advantageous so ass to safe wasted time and unnecessary danger.

[Artful Drunktective]

Advise them of the tragedy. Maybe they'll bring emergency supplies.

I'm with Scream. Tell them about your plight and if they are true friends they will bring provisions. Other options: you could just be like "Welp...I'm all stocked but you guys are fked." or as Willies suggested "Anyone down for a road trip?" Could be fun like an unexpected journey. Like the Hobbit.

[oettinger]

Hmm try to get some of the "damaged goods" for half the price. Under the counter style. They can`t just toss em all in the dumpster. That would be a criminal act
Or maybe you`ll spot a floating keg

[Badfellow]

Sorry to hear, Bluto. Mother nature can be a heartless wench. I propose we start a company to address this issue...

DrunkAir: liquor logistics solutions with drone delivery of beer, wine and spirits to anywhere in the lower 48 and Alaska. We also deliver smokes!

[Badfellow]

Hmm try to get some of the "damaged goods" for half the price. Under the counter style. They can`t just toss em all in the dumpster. That would be a criminal act
Or maybe you`ll spot a floating keg

Some years ago, I got a real good deal on a few cases of liquor from a bar that burned down. Maybe the labels were smoke damaged or something. Who knows. The liquor tasted just fine though and lasted almost three days.

[mistah willies]

Hmm try to get some of the "damaged goods" for half the price. Under the counter style. They can`t just toss em all in the dumpster. That would be a criminal act
Or maybe you`ll spot a floating keg

Some years ago, I got a real good deal on a few cases of liquor from a bar that burned down. Maybe the labels were smoke damaged or something. Who knows. The liquor tasted just fine though and lasted almost three days.

Ah, yes. Smoke anything, and it will preserve it for a very long time in the saddle bag. Now if only that worked for keef.

BTW, a few cases of booze lasted three days? That's, like, a record for you young man. *impressed*

[oettinger]

Hmm try to get some of the "damaged goods" for half the price. Under the counter style. They can`t just toss em all in the dumpster. That would be a criminal act
Or maybe you`ll spot a floating keg

Some years ago, I got a real good deal on a few cases of liquor from a bar that burned down. Maybe the labels were smoke damaged or something. Who knows. The liquor tasted just fine though and lasted almost three days.

Ah, yes. Smoke anything, and it will preserve it for a very long time in the saddle bag. Now if only that worked for keef.

BTW, a few cases of booze lasted three days? That's, like, a record for you young man. *impressed*

I bought the story until "3 days" myself

[Badfellow]

Some years ago, I got a real good deal on a few cases of liquor from a bar that burned down. Maybe the labels were smoke damaged or something. Who knows. The liquor tasted just fine though and lasted almost three days.

Ah, yes. Smoke anything, and it will preserve it for a very long time in the saddle bag. Now if only that worked for keef.

BTW, a few cases of booze lasted three days? That's, like, a record for you young man. *impressed*

I bought the story until "3 days" myself

I had help from assholes such as your ilk.

[oettinger]

Ah, yes. Smoke anything, and it will preserve it for a very long time in the saddle bag. Now if only that worked for keef.

BTW, a few cases of booze lasted three days? That's, like, a record for you young man. *impressed*

I bought the story until "3 days" myself

I had help from assholes such as your ilk.

Ah, ok

[Brother Bluto]

Update: All parties were advised of the situation. Many beers were brought to the party Friday night. As previously noted, I could still get beer, but I give credit for those who were kind enough to help. The Saturday morning crew came with copious amounts of Irish coffee.
I also enlisted a coworker who commutes nearly 50 miles each way every day to bring me a bottle of whiskey. Then I made a 5 mile trip to another town to buy booze from a truck stop with terrible selection and even worse prices.
All-in-all the weekend was a success. Only the drivers went home completely undrunk and we all had a blast. Already looking forward to next year.

Oh! And while I was worried about the booze I completely forgot about cigars whic resulted in a late night trip to the new smoke shop Friday night.

[Brother Bluto]

Also, on Wednesday morning the official news report was there is no ETA for reopening.

I buy groceries on a daily basis and my Packy is next door to my grocer (92 seconds by car from my front door), combined with my very vested interest in the business I’ve been watching the roof, drainage, backhoe, cleaning work closely. Miraculously, they opened back up at 6 PM Wednesday night.