TRUE CONFESSIONS

A place for general talk.

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oldsmartskunk
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by oldsmartskunk »

Had sex with 3 girls in one day who all expected to date me. Felt so bad afterwards it took me three days to undrunk up.

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oettinger
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by oettinger »

Your mom, your aunt, your sister

hmm three days is a quick recovery
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scream ale
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by scream ale »

I confess my goal is reaching boozing like Bukowski status.

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Badfellow
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by Badfellow »

Recently I had a dream about having sex with a woman. She was attractive enough. However, she was also a double amputee, and I distinctly remember her saying "what, you won't fuck me just because I don't have any legs?"

Freud is probably rolling around in his grave like an alligator with a small toddler in it's jaws.
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by scream ale »

Legs would be a deal breaker for me too.

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by Artful Drunktective »

I actually read all of the "Twilight" series books (but hated the movies of course).

I have never watched any Harry Potter movies.

I liked the 90's show "Living Single" with Queen Latifah.

I have no idea what Hunger Games is.

I have no idea what Game of Thrones is.
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by Artful Drunktective »

While laying in bed I watched from beginning to end that horrendous movie from the 90's where Madonna and Willem Defoe get it on like rabbits.
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by mistah willies »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sat May 25, 2019 4:19 pm
While laying in bed I watched from beginning to end that horrendous movie from the 90's where Madonna and Willem Defoe get it on like rabbits.
I watched this twice at a movie theater in Clovis. This wasn't recently, btw.
... And it was a two different occasions.
The second time was without Leia who lived in Clovis.
It was by myself.

Crossed the water canal with my bike. Pedaled a bit.

I still think it's madcsp. I still think it's funny.

True confession: I'd do it again.

Yup.

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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by Badfellow »

mistah willies wrote:
Sat May 25, 2019 8:39 pm
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sat May 25, 2019 4:19 pm
While laying in bed I watched from beginning to end that horrendous movie from the 90's where Madonna and Willem Defoe get it on like rabbits.
I watched this twice at a movie theater in Clovis. This wasn't recently, btw.
... And it was a two different occasions.
The second time was without Leia who lived in Clovis.
It was by myself.

Crossed the water canal with my bike. Pedaled a bit.

I still think it's madcsp. I still think it's funny.

True confession: I'd do it again.

Yup.
First of all, watching Madonna and Willem Defoe hump like rabbits is creepier than graveyard sex.

Secondly, this Clovis place sounds like a real shitberg. Worse than Wupperdorf but without the zoo. I'd rather live in Thule, Greenland, or however you spell Pyongyang.
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by Artful Drunktective »

mistah willies wrote:
Sat May 25, 2019 8:39 pm
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sat May 25, 2019 4:19 pm
While laying in bed I watched from beginning to end that horrendous movie from the 90's where Madonna and Willem Defoe get it on like rabbits.
I watched this twice at a movie theater in Clovis. This wasn't recently, btw.
... And it was a two different occasions.
The second time was without Leia who lived in Clovis.
It was by myself.

Crossed the water canal with my bike. Pedaled a bit.

I still think it's madcsp. I still think it's funny.

True confession: I'd do it again.

Yup.
HAhaha I watched it in the theaters too when it first came out. Circa 1992 I'm guessing? I knew what I was in for this time around and "Ooops I (also) did it again" lol. It's like a freakin' train wreck!

The most disturbing part of this story is that I was quasi titillated.
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by mistah willies »

mistah willies wrote:
Sat May 25, 2019 8:39 pm
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sat May 25, 2019 4:19 pm
While laying in bed I watched from beginning to end that horrendous movie from the 90's where Madonna and Willem Defoe get it on like rabbits.
I watched this. twice at a movie theater in Clovis. This. wasn't recently, btw.
... And it was a two different occasions.
The second time was without Leia who lived in Clovis.
It was by myself.

Crossed the water canal with my bike. Pedaled a bit.

I still think it's madcap. I still think it's. funny.

True confession: I'd do it again.

Yup.

Holy shit I was riffing off '80's Madtuna movies.
But I still think it's friggin funny

Madtuna movie link here.

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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Badfellow wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:03 pm
True confession: I steal glassware from one of the local bars. Not because I need it, but because the owner is an asshole and keeps raising drink prices. We'll see who wins this war.
Not so much these days, but I was always a bit of a clepto. I had a nice collection of tiny Chinese sauce bowls from restaurants, a nice pepper grinder from an Italian place etc.

A few times I even did it in other people's homes. Never took directly from a friend but this one friend of mine had an asshole mom who didn't like me so I took this stupid crystal looking sea shell shaped soap dish from the bathroom. The saddest part is that I did it because I liked the stupid dish, not necessarily out of retaliation because I couldn't really give a shit whether his mom liked me or not. Being drunk just gave me the balls to do it and not care.
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oettinger
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by oettinger »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:52 am
Badfellow wrote:
Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:03 pm
True confession: I steal glassware from one of the local bars. Not because I need it, but because the owner is an asshole and keeps raising drink prices. We'll see who wins this war.
Not so much these days, but I was always a bit of a clepto. I had a nice collection of tiny Chinese sauce bowls from restaurants, a nice pepper grinder from an Italian place etc.

A few times I even did it in other people's homes. Never took directly from a friend but this one friend of mine had an asshole mom who didn't like me so I took this stupid crystal looking sea shell shaped soap dish from the bathroom. The saddest part is that I did it because I liked the stupid dish, not necessarily out of retaliation because I couldn't really give a shit whether his mom liked me or not. Being drunk just gave me the balls to do it and not care.
The Falmingo ashtray, where is it by the way?
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Badfellow
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by Badfellow »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:52 am
... Being drunk just gave me the balls to do it and not care.[/color]
I felt much the same way while pissing into the shampoo bottle of some twat of a party host years ago. Should have horked his soap dish too.
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS

Post by Dear Booze »

Badfellow wrote:
Sun Jul 14, 2019 11:10 am
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sun Jul 14, 2019 4:52 am
... Being drunk just gave me the balls to do it and not care.[/color]
I felt much the same way while pissing into the shampoo bottle of some twat of a party host years ago. Should have horked his soap dish too.
I used to love doing this in the restrooms at restaurants. Remember how they used to have those little spouts that stuck up from the counter, next to the sink. Under the sink, there was a little bottle of liquid soap which screwed into pace. I made it a habit of unscrewing that little bottle, emptying the soapy contents into the toilet, refilling it with a healthy sample of my piss, and placing it back in its normal location under the sink.

Returning to the dining room, I would sit back and enjoy watching all the helpless fuckers as they exited the men's room with hands coated with MY urine.

Now days, they have little impossible-to-piss-in dispensers on the wall. I happily take credit for that.
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