Weird & Confusing Stuff

A place for general talk.

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Dear Booze wrote:
Fri Jul 12, 2019 2:04 pm
From my own experience, arguments with old girlfriends never ended with someone running away. It was always something more along the lines of what AD described. One girl took her shoe off and threw it at my head. Another one knocked on my door a couple days later and then punched me when I answered.
When I was a teen I had an ex "farm the yard". My Dad was thrilled as one can imagine.

So among the plethora of Dear Booze's exes, he doesn't have the hysterical criers and runners, he has the face slappers. Isn't that a bit cliché?



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Dear Booze
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by Dear Booze »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 5:30 am
When I was a teen I had an ex "farm the yard". My Dad was thrilled as one can imagine.

^^ Not sure what this means, but I'm assuming it's a sexual thing.

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 5:30 am
So among the plethora of Dear Booze's exes, he doesn't have the hysterical criers and runners, he has the face slappers. Isn't that a bit cliché?
^^Sorry, your English to German to English translation app lost a little here. I did not say "slap". It was a punch. There is a difference.
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by oettinger »

Ex boyfriends, the perfect garden tool
Dear Booze wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 6:19 am

^^Sorry, your English to German to English translation app lost a little here. I did not say "slap". It was a punch. There is a difference.
Deutsch Japanese Drunkard fluent, it meant "pinch"
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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Dear Booze wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 6:19 am
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 5:30 am
When I was a teen I had an ex "farm the yard". My Dad was thrilled as one can imagine.

^^ Not sure what this means, but I'm assuming it's a sexual thing.

Touché. I set myself up for that one.
For those of you who don't know, farming the yard is when someone does donuts on the lawn in their car, basically plowing through the yard tearing up the grass.

Dear Booze wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 6:19 am
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 5:30 am
So among the plethora of Dear Booze's exes, he doesn't have the hysterical criers and runners, he has the face slappers. Isn't that a bit cliché?
^^Sorry, your English to German to English translation app lost a little here. I did not say "slap". It was a punch. There is a difference.
Gee, DB, I can't imagine why anyone would want to punch you...
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by Dear Booze »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:52 am
Dear Booze wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 6:19 am
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sat Jul 13, 2019 5:30 am
When I was a teen I had an ex "farm the yard". My Dad was thrilled as one can imagine.

^^ Not sure what this means, but I'm assuming it's a sexual thing.


For those of you who don't know, farming the yard is when someone does donuts on the lawn... basically plowing through the yard tearing up the grass.


So it IS a sexual thing.
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by Badfellow »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Wed Dec 31, 1969 6:00 pm

For those of you who don't know, farming the yard is when some guy with a mullet and a prison tattoo drives over late at night in his Camero, basically plowing the farmer's daughter repeatedly in the back seat and tearing up her ass.
Yeah, that's what I thought you said.
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Badfellow wrote:
Sun Jul 14, 2019 1:17 pm
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Wed Dec 31, 1969 6:00 pm

For those of you who don't know, farming the yard is when some guy with a mullet and a prison tattoo drives over late at night in his Camero, basically plowing the farmer's daughter repeatedly in the back seat and tearing up her ass.
Yeah, that's what I thought you said.
Of course. What Midwesterner hasn't had that experience?! Duh.
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by oettinger »

Report: Player in Europe failed drug test because it showed he was pregnant the comments sum it up perfectly: Did he know his wife was pregnant? Is it his child? Honey we are pregnant, we need the money! Oh you just got banned, wtf???!?!?!?!
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by Nausea »

Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by oettinger »

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machinehead
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by machinehead »

I will tell you whats weird

But after this you are on your own

pink flamingos

Removing bio hazard suit since the worst is over.

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Jimmy Lester {RIP}
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Re: Weird Stuff

Post by Jimmy Lester {RIP} »

machinehead wrote:
Mon Jul 06, 2020 1:15 pm
I will tell you whats weird

But after this you are on your own

pink flamingos

Removing bio hazard suit since the worst is over.
Now that I'm on my own

I'll tell you what's weird

This fucking style of writing

Fuck off.

Fuck.

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Weird things you suddenly noticed

Post by Savage »

I don't know, maybe it's the bourbon talking, but did you ever notice how much Meatloaf looks like John Goodman? Not that that means anything and I sure wish somebody would make me a tropical cocktail (without coconut stuff, Satan's favorite flavor). sorry. bye i gotta go to bed before grumpy wakes up to pee and he comes out and finds me and screams at me about not being in bed.
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Re: Weird things you suddenly noticed

Post by Merchant Seaman »

Savage wrote:
Mon May 31, 2021 3:45 am
I don't know, maybe it's the bourbon talking, but did you ever notice how much Meatloaf looks like John Goodman? Not that that means anything and I sure wish somebody would make me a tropical cocktail (without coconut stuff, Satan's favorite flavor). sorry. bye i gotta go to bed before grumpy wakes up to pee and he comes out and finds me and screams at me about not being in bed.
A Tropical Cocktail: Bourbon neat

What do you mean that's not a tropical cocktail?!

I'm in the tropics a lot, and that's what I drink!

You seem to reside with someone named Grumpy, are you Snow White?

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What is the weirdest experience you've ever had

Post by Savage »

when you were not drunk, but thought that maybe you just thought you weren't drunk?

For me, it was in the small, or the four-minute mall, in Tumbleweed Junction, many years ago. Now back in the day, it was a town mostly populated by the elderly people, the Glenn Miller generation. So there I was, at the end of the small, where the Sears and the JCPenney collided, and on the Muzak came a vocal song, (rarity). It took a few seconds to register, but there, in OldFart USA, they were playing a song whose lyrics were:

Don't want no short dick man.

Well! Fetch my smelling salts and fainting couch! It was Tuesday morning, otherwise known as Old Folks don't have to pay sales tax day. Luckily, most of the cotton-heads were too deaf to catch the audio. I went home and poured a large bourbon and listened to Chopin until my heart rate calmed.
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