Before i was banned for life from a local Church, i used to show up hammered to the sermons. Anywho, this Church had after prayer "fun" nights. basically it consisted of cookies, local gossip, and apple bobbing, and worst of all no alcohol. Mind you, I was a 30s single male so these functions usually were very boring aside from gawking at women in Church dresses.
Anywho, on this particular fun night they had a karaoke machine. I'm usually not one to jump on these hangover regret machines, but thqt night i was particularly loaded. We picked our own songs...Forgetting i was in a Church, I chose "Closer" by NiN....
I was forcefully hauled out after the second "i wanna fuck you like an animal!" Told if i ever came back Cops would be called.
later that night at home topping off my drinks feeling like a complete idiot.... I hear a knock... I open the door to find the preacher's wife from the church still in her black church dress and heels, blonde hair up in a bun, looking sexy. I had always wanted to fucj her. I
"Can i come in?" She says. .. "Sure babe" i say. She says "i liked your song tonight and i knew it was for me." She proceeds to bend over the kitchen table and lift up her church dress. .. I spank her... She pulls down her pantyhose... "Again" she says... I spank her again, this time bare ass... I unzip my pants....
Karaoke Adventures
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- ThirstyBirdy
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 240
- Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:36 am
Karaoke Adventures
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
Re: Karaoke Adventures
Who would have thought that drinking and church would lead to something fruitful.
Welcome ThirstyBirdy. Maybe you introduce yourself to the rest of the board right here. Cheers
Welcome ThirstyBirdy. Maybe you introduce yourself to the rest of the board right here. Cheers
Drink!
- Artful Drunktective
- Chugging Like Churchill
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Re: Karaoke Adventures
Did you steal this from Penthouse?ThirstyBirdy wrote: ↑Sat Sep 21, 2019 9:15 am
"Can i come in?" She says. .. "Sure babe" i say. She says "i liked your song tonight and i knew it was for me." She proceeds to bend over the kitchen table and lift up her church dress. .. I spank her... She pulls down her pantyhose... "Again" she says... I spank her again, this time bare ass... I unzip my pants....
Okole maluna!
- ThirstyBirdy
- Lord of Benders
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- Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:36 am
Re: Karaoke Adventures
Thanks! Basic average guy really. Drink at home a lot but bars are of course more exciting. Last bar i patroned turned into a real shithole... No literally.. A certain group which i wont name couldn't seem to poop properly on a toilet leaving shit on the floors. While just say ahem rap music started getting popular in thereoettinger wrote: ↑Sat Sep 21, 2019 11:58 amWho would have thought that drinking and church would lead to something fruitful.
Welcome ThirstyBirdy. Maybe you introduce yourself to the rest of the board right here. Cheers
Last edited by ThirstyBirdy on Sun Sep 22, 2019 11:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
- ThirstyBirdy
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 240
- Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:36 am
Re: Karaoke Adventures
More details of my TRUE story are available if need be hunArtful Drunktective wrote: ↑Sat Sep 21, 2019 11:58 amDid you steal this from Penthouse?ThirstyBirdy wrote: ↑Sat Sep 21, 2019 9:15 am
"Can i come in?" She says. .. "Sure babe" i say. She says "i liked your song tonight and i knew it was for me." She proceeds to bend over the kitchen table and lift up her church dress. .. I spank her... She pulls down her pantyhose... "Again" she says... I spank her again, this time bare ass... I unzip my pants....
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
- ThirstyDrunk
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 12701
- Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:35 pm
- Location: Xenia
Re: Karaoke Adventures
...then the mushrooms wore off and I realized I was stumbling pantless in an Arby's parking lot at 3 AM dragging a half naked mannequin.ThirstyBirdy wrote: ↑Sat Sep 21, 2019 9:15 amBefore i was banned for life from a local Church, i used to show up hammered to the sermons. Anywho, this Church had after prayer "fun" nights. basically it consisted of cookies, local gossip, and apple bobbing, and worst of all no alcohol. Mind you, I was a 30s single male so these functions usually were very boring aside from gawking at women in Church dresses.
Anywho, on this particular fun night they had a karaoke machine. I'm usually not one to jump on these hangover regret machines, but thqt night i was particularly loaded. We picked our own songs...Forgetting i was in a Church, I chose "Closer" by NiN....
I was forcefully hauled out after the second "i wanna fuck you like an animal!" Told if i ever came back Cops would be called.
later that night at home topping off my drinks feeling like a complete idiot.... I hear a knock... I open the door to find the preacher's wife from the church still in her black church dress and heels, blonde hair up in a bun, looking sexy. I had always wanted to fucj her. I
"Can i come in?" She says. .. "Sure babe" i say. She says "i liked your song tonight and i knew it was for me." She proceeds to bend over the kitchen table and lift up her church dress. .. I spank her... She pulls down her pantyhose... "Again" she says... I spank her again, this time bare ass... I unzip my pants....
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
- ThirstyBirdy
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 240
- Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:36 am
Re: Karaoke Adventures
I'm a little upset that such a great true story of my life is taking this kind of heat!
Makes me not want to share the "The Witch from Down Unda" story (a true story of a kangaroo figurine collecting Australian nightmare, whom i drunkenly married on a whim during an Outback safari excursion, who while crazy in the sack, and liked to pour my liqour down the drain, she had "kiwi" tantrums and other insanities to ruin my life at 3 in the morning)..
Makes me not want to share the "The Witch from Down Unda" story (a true story of a kangaroo figurine collecting Australian nightmare, whom i drunkenly married on a whim during an Outback safari excursion, who while crazy in the sack, and liked to pour my liqour down the drain, she had "kiwi" tantrums and other insanities to ruin my life at 3 in the morning)..
Last edited by ThirstyBirdy on Sun Sep 22, 2019 2:52 am, edited 3 times in total.
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
- ThirstyBirdy
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 240
- Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:36 am
Re: Karaoke Adventures
Adding more details..ThirstyBirdy wrote: ↑Sat Sep 21, 2019 9:15 amBefore i was banned for life from a local Church, i used to show up hammered to the sermons. Anywho, this Church had after prayer "fun" nights. basically it consisted of cookies, local gossip, and apple bobbing, and worst of all no alcohol. Mind you, I was a 30s single male so these functions usually were very boring aside from gawking at women in Church dresses.
Anywho, on this particular fun night they had a karaoke machine. I'm usually not one to jump on these hangover regret machines, but thqt night i was particularly loaded. We picked our own songs...Forgetting i was in a Church, I chose "Closer" by NiN....
I was forcefully hauled out after the second "i wanna fuck you like an animal!" Told if i ever came back Cops would be called.
later that night at home topping off my drinks feeling like a complete idiot.... I hear a knock... I open the door to find the preacher's wife from the church still in her black church dress and heels, blonde hair up in a bun, looking sexy. I had always wanted to fucj her. I
"Can i come in?" She says. .. "Sure babe" i say. She says "i liked your song tonight and i knew it was for me." She proceeds to bend over the kitchen table and lift up her church dress. .. I spank her... She pulls down her pantyhose... "Again" she says... I spank her again, this time bare ass... I unzip my pants....
As she bent over, she handed me a bottle she had stashed in her purse... It was sure enough, aged vintage wine from the Church's cellars. She wanted her pussy smell on the neck of the bottle, so she rubbed it on her pussy taint....
Handing me the bottle
"Here... I know you drink..." she says
"I've always known you were a drunkard during our congregations." She continues.
After my appreciated half chug of the bottle, i spanked her... The rest is in the pudding up there...
Last edited by ThirstyBirdy on Sun Sep 22, 2019 2:27 am, edited 2 times in total.
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
- ThirstyDrunk
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 12701
- Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:35 pm
- Location: Xenia
- ThirstyBirdy
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 240
- Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:36 am
Re: Karaoke Adventures
ThirstyBirdy wrote: ↑Sat Sep 21, 2019 9:15 amBefore i was banned for life from a local Church, i used to show up hammered to the sermons. Anywho, this Church had after prayer "fun" nights. basically it consisted of cookies, local gossip, and apple bobbing, and worst of all no alcohol. Mind you, I was a 30s single male so these functions usually were very boring aside from gawking at women in Church dresses.
Anywho, on this particular fun night they had a karaoke machine. I'm usually not one to jump on these hangover regret machines, but thqt night i was particularly loaded. We picked our own songs...Forgetting i was in a Church, I chose "Closer" by NiN....
I was forcefully hauled out after the second "i wanna fuck you like an animal!" Told if i ever came back Cops would be called.
later that night at home topping off my drinks feeling like a complete idiot.... I hear a knock... I open the door to find the preacher's wife from the church still in her black church dress and heels, blonde hair up in a bun, looking sexy. I had always wanted to fucj her. I
"Can i come in?" She says. .. "Sure babe" i say. She says "i liked your song tonight and i knew it was for me." She proceeds to bend over the kitchen table and lift up her church dress. .. I spank her... She pulls down her pantyhose... "Again" she says... I spank her again, this time bare ass... I unzip my pants....
It's pudding you bastards want! Pudding you shall get!!!!Adding more details..
As she bent over, she handed me a bottle she had stashed in her purse... It was sure enough, aged vintage wine from the Church's cellars. She wanted her pussy smell on the neck of the bottle, so she rubbed it on her pussy taint....
Handing me the bottle
"Here... I know you drink..." she says
"I've always known you were a drunkard during our congregations." She continues.
After my appreciated half chug of the bottle, i spanked her... The rest is in the pudding up there...
After her spank... and my unzip.. She turns to me and says.....
"Drip the wine down our tongues together before you fuck me hard"
We lock tongues while i pour the other half of the bottle.... She sucks my tongue and i hers back and fourth during the pour.. The suction of her wine tasty lips and her church wife breath exuberant in its splender, quickly leads to her back into her bent over the table position.....
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
- Artful Drunktective
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5359
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2015 1:00 pm
- Location: Yautja Prime
Re: Karaoke Adventures
That's because we look out for trolls. It's the Modern Drunkard forum...it ain't your diary, dude.ThirstyBirdy wrote: ↑Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:36 pmI'm a little upset that such a great true story of my life is taking this kind of heat!
Okole maluna!
Re: Karaoke Adventures
I must say that this thread is quite entertaining.
“Pussy taint”
“Pussy taint”
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.
- ThirstyBirdy
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 240
- Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:36 am
Re: Karaoke Adventures
How dare you accuse me of trolling! How dare you take one of my best drinking stories and shat on it!
How dare you!
How dare you!
Last edited by ThirstyBirdy on Sun Sep 22, 2019 12:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
- ThirstyBirdy
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 240
- Joined: Sat Sep 21, 2019 8:36 am
Re: Karaoke Adventures
now this would be a diary:
"Today i walked the dog at 12 pm. Chugged a beer at 12:30... Chugged another beer at 12:35. Loaded more beer into the fridge. Poured a tall glass of pinot noir at 12:37... ect ect"
Just for reference babe
"Today i walked the dog at 12 pm. Chugged a beer at 12:30... Chugged another beer at 12:35. Loaded more beer into the fridge. Poured a tall glass of pinot noir at 12:37... ect ect"
Just for reference babe
Something's got to be done. We can't go on like this.
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!- Withnail
Re: Karaoke Adventures
"spanked the neighbour`s wife at 12:40, she brought over her husband`s fifth of bourbon, got drunk on that at 12:41, fucked her again at 12:49 watching their recent vacation pics"
There you go
There you go
Drink!