Another Solo Mission - Drinking alone? Post here!

[ThirstyBirdy]

Drinking Kessler neat. Smooth as 80 grit sandpaper, as Patchez says. But it's a perfect night for it. Cold outside, the heater blowing and I don't have to be at work for 11 days. That's an 11 day bender on tap. It won't be a solo bender for all 11 days though. I've already decide I will hit the bars next week, I don't care how much money I spend. I'm going to go out there guilt free. But for the most part it will be me in this little room alone with my booze.

The OP of this thread said he was getting out his headphones to listen to music. I'm going to do that right now, even though I consider listening to music to be one of life's worst time wasters. But I have plenty of time to waste right now. I can afford some fantasy and self indulgence. It's like a substitute for socializing. I can sit here watching these music videos and fantasize that I"m out there with the good people of the world and i belong. Tomorrow I'll puke it all up in the toilet.

What is it withyou and these god damn bars!? Not to break your balls, but dude, remember who u are. The Solo Machine

[RIPT2.0]

^ ^ ^
Perhaps these men see you simply as a friendly and familiar face at the bar and that's a comfort in itself? Nothing more than that. Obviously they are lonely and finding an avenue to discuss anything to anyone for some sort of social interaction, even if it means banal topics such as weather. Old people kinda don't have much else to talk about except for the weather because they know their personal stories bore the shit out of most people. And most old folks don't even give a crap if they bore the shit out of everyone, they just ramble on anyway. At least weather is the one thing you have in common.

Long before (but in the beginnings) of my drunkardism career, in order to graduate high school I had to do several hours of community service and I chose to do it in a nursing home. Just a bunch of undrunk and basically dying old people that had nothing else to look forward to in life than my 17 year old dumbass to come visit them for an hour a day. A 17 year old dumbass who couldn't give 2 shits really about them...I was there to put in my time. I sat there and watched "Love Connection" with Chuck Woolery with them and they were content as if my mere listless presence was enough. I found it pretty sad, really. When we did converse, it was of course about the weather and about their spouses who were long dead or wars that were long fought. I sorta cared in the human sense but at the same time I was selfishly looking at the clock counting down the minutes I could skulk on out.

What if I were old... had no where else to go, no friendly face to turn to...what would I do? Probably go to the local watering hole if I could and strike up random conversations with friendly looking drunkards. It's the only thing they have to make them feel alive, really.

Do you think you would really do that in the future, if you really were in that circumstance - head to the bar looking to talk to someone?

A man I lived next door to in a cheap apartment building for nineteen years was a loner. He would sit in there drinking and watching TV. He was divorced, one kid died, the other never came by to see him. A TRUE loner. He was not a grump - in fact he was one of the most jolly people I've ever known. But he rarely ever left his apartment. In fact, he never did except to run those errands that required getting out, like groceries, laundry, haircuts. In his later years he drank wine every day. So much in fact, that it burned a hole in his esophagus - something that only hard liquor is supposed to do. He never went to the bar to talk to people.Why not? That's not a rhetorical question, by the way. Why do you think he didn't need the company of other people? He was not a snob, not at all. He didn't bathe, didn't brush his teeth, wore threadbare clothing. He must have thought that humanity had nothing to offer him, and he had nothing to offer it. He died back in 2012, and to this day I still write in my diary trying to remember all the lessons I learned from him. Not that he tried to teach me, just that I tried to learn from him. Although, I guess he did try to teach me thing or two with just some statements in passing. What a role model he was, at least to me. He needed no one. I aspire to be like him, his thrift and frugality, his independence.

Maybe another way of framing my question to you - is a friendly face to turn to really that important? I don't think it is, I hope it isn't, I don't want it to be. But I'm so wrong about everything all the time my tank of self doubt is bursting.

I'm a lot like that guy you used to live next door to. I hate having to go out to run errands and would prefer to be left alone, except for the occasional visit to a friends house or their visit to mine. I've also given up on the bar scene due to the annoying lonely old man you inevitably run into, as you've mentioned. However, I do bathe, brush my teeth, and wear intact clothing. I have my limits. I haven't burned a hole in my esophagus yet, although I almost did last night drinking a shot of 100 proof Polish liquor. But with age comes wisdom, or so one hopes.

[scream ale]

Going out seems over rated most times. The occasional outtings just reconfirm that most people irritate holy hell out of me.

[ThirstyBirdy]

Going out seems over rated most times. The occasional outtings just reconfirm that most people irritate holy hell out of me.

I irritate myself when i go out, let alone others. Last time i lit a cig in the middle of a restaurant, and i swear it was like toxic gas had filled the room. Talk about overreacting... On my way getting dragged out by my neck, i only remember the disappointed faces of the ladies who were gawking at me just before. Picked myself up off the sidwwalk and walked to the nearest shithole. Rinse repeat...

[oettinger]

People that need to go out are the real loners. They can`t even tolerate being with themselfes

[Artful Drunktective]

Do you think you would really do that in the future, if you really were in that circumstance - head to the bar looking to talk to someone?

I think for people that are lonely...yes a friendly face is important. Presumably because they have no friends or family or their home life is shit which none are the case for me. However... I really can't say if I would seek it out when I am old but it's possible. I assume I wouldn't as I think I will always have a circle of people in my life in some way. Especially when the brunt of my relationships are all on Skype due to distance which suits me fine.

But mainly I am not the lonely type. I appreciate my alone time and being a total homebody, I don't necessarily think I would go out seeking anything for that matter, as I am usually quite content.

Although I have done it a few times, I am also not really the type that likes to go to a bar alone just as I don't like dining out alone. When I do go out, I want the experience of sharing it with someone...the drinks, the conversation...companionship etc. I'd rather just stay home in my own comfort zone if I'm alone. Better music. It's safe, convenient, and comfortable environment...stocked with free drinks! Not to mention, I can wear my pajamas and there's a 0% chance of ending up in jail or a Dumpster!

[Hugh]

Do you think you would really do that in the future, if you really were in that circumstance - head to the bar looking to talk to someone?

I think for people that are lonely...yes a friendly face is important. Presumably because they have no friends or family or their home life is shit which none are the case for me. However... I really can't say if I would seek it out when I am old but it's possible. I assume I wouldn't as I think I will always have a circle of people in my life in some way. Especially when the brunt of my relationships are all on Skype due to distance which suits me fine.

But mainly I am not the lonely type. I appreciate my alone time and being a total homebody, I don't necessarily think I would go out seeking anything for that matter, as I am usually quite content.

Although I have done it a few times, I am also not really the type that likes to go to a bar alone just as I don't like dining out alone. When I do go out, I want the experience of sharing it with someone...the drinks, the conversation...companionship etc. I'd rather just stay home in my own comfort zone if I'm alone. Better music. It's safe, convenient, and comfortable environment...stocked with free drinks! Not to mention, I can wear my pajamas and there's a 0% chance of ending up in jail or a Dumpster!

Skype relationships. I guess they really are real. I remember the first time I did it here, it was Oett then later more people came on, There were four on at one point. The next day I wrote in my diary that I liked it, but I thought if I kept doing it I would grow to dislike it the same way as I get sick of bars when I go out too much. Then there was that last time I Skyped with Oett (and you too) when it was early in the day over here. It put me in a good mood and I went out to the bars. I got into a bunch of shit like I always do when I go out there. I blamed it on Skyping because it put me in a happy, sociable mood. I thought about deleting it - haha.

Since it's cold and dark out there I could probably bring up Skype right now and not worry about it instigating a pub crawl. Plus I haven't showered since Wednesday night.

[Hugh]

Back when I was more sociable I hated New Year's Eve. The absolutely worst night of the year. I always got the call from friends to go out and join them at a bar. Probably about 8 or 9 years ago they told me to meet them at the piano lounge where one of our friends was playing a NYE gig. When I arrived they were all there, seated by the piano, and the bar was pretty crowded. So I took a seat at a table way in the back and texted one of them that I was there, but it was too crowded to make it up to the piano. As I sat there, taking up a table by myself, I started sweating from the anxiety of being alone out on a night devoted to togetherness. I swore I would never go out on NYE again.

Next year one of them invited me out again, and I went. It was at a dive-like bar, all of us crowded in with the rest of the crowd, and even though I was there with my group, I still felt like I did not belong. At one point in the night I took my coat off, and since I didn't have a chair to hang it on, I stuffed it in a pigeon hole where the bar keeps all the free weekly newspapers. A little after midnight I notice it gone. And then I notice a smaller-size man wearing it and heading for the door. I intercepted him, shoved him back against the bar, and forcibly removed my coat from him, cussing him out. While I'm doing that a bodybuilder with a goofy smile is approaching and saying, "It's okay, it's okay. All just a mistake. I work here. It's all just a mistake." I jabbed my finger in his face and said, "Back off Smiley." My friends all witnessed this and they were shocked that I would accost someone, even to get a stolen coat back, they were shocked at my thug-like language. A few days later when we were together at the same bar, I tried to explain it by saying, "You can take the boy out of the hills, but you can't take the hillbilly out of the boy." (I'm originally from Kentucky.) After that they all cooled me. They stopped inviting me out, stopped contacting me at all. It was a blessing. That was the last time I went out in public on New Year's Eve. It's been about 7 or 8 years now.

Tonight I got off work early enough to stop off at the liquor store for a big bottle of Kessler. I'm gonna sit in this little room and drink alone while New Year's Eve rages around me. Certainly, that group of friends are out celebrating together tonight, probably at that very same bar, and I can't help but wonder if they will bring that incident up as they reminisce about NYE's past. I ran into one of them while I was bar hopping a few months ago, telling him I was out celebrating getting a poem published. He said he would Message me on Facebook to see about getting together again. I said sure, but didn't tell him that I'd defriended him.

[RIPT2.0]

I don't have too many friends that live close by anymore, so my New Years Eve generally consists of going to a friends house who does live close by, having a few drinks and dinner, and then scoot home before 8 pm when the roads become congested with drunks and Police. Last night it was a great steak dinner with lots of beer and Gentleman Jack. I was home by 7pm. Gone are the days of big parties for me. That's one of the prices you pay for growing old.

It's funny how you mention friends that turn out to be anything but. A friend of mine, whom I have known since the 3rd grade, basically broke off contact with me several years ago. The last time we hung out together was when we went on a road trip to attend a friends party. The deal was that we would drive my truck and split the cost of gas. I got so wasted at the party that I fell down trying to escape to the guest bedroom and scrapped up my leg pretty bad. That's what happens when you get into a drinking contest with a guy that has no legs. You think you can win but you can't because he's in a wheel chair and can't fall down. This guy was a drinking machine like none I've ever seen before.

Anyway, I never had words with my buddy at all that weekend but he got pissed off when I insisted he fill my truck with gas before stopping back at his house at the end of the trip. I explained that I picked him up with a full tank and that I should leave his house with a full tank if the cost of gas was to be split fairly. I don't know if $40 of gas was the exact reason why I stopped hearing from him but when you've been friends with somebody for over 50 years you expect better treatment.

[oettinger]

I know a person or two that are attracted to overly crowded bars and nightclubs like a moth is to a lightbulb. I don`t get it in the least

[Hugh]

I don't have too many friends that live close by anymore, so my New Years Eve generally consists of going to a friends house who does live close by, having a few drinks and dinner, and then scoot home before 8 pm when the roads become congested with drunks and Police. Last night it was a great steak dinner with lots of beer and Gentleman Jack. I was home by 7pm. Gone are the days of big parties for me. That's one of the prices you pay for growing old.

It's funny how you mention friends that turn out to be anything but. A friend of mine, whom I have known since the 3rd grade, basically broke off contact with me several years ago. The last time we hung out together was when we went on a road trip to attend a friends party. The deal was that we would drive my truck and split the cost of gas. I got so wasted at the party that I fell down trying to escape to the guest bedroom and scrapped up my leg pretty bad. That's what happens when you get into a drinking contest with a guy that has no legs. You think you can win but you can't because he's in a wheel chair and can't fall down. This guy was a drinking machine like none I've ever seen before.

Anyway, I never had words with my buddy at all that weekend but he got pissed off when I insisted he fill my truck with gas before stopping back at his house at the end of the trip. I explained that I picked him up with a full tank and that I should leave his house with a full tank if the cost of gas was to be split fairly. I don't know if $40 of gas was the exact reason why I stopped hearing from him but when you've been friends with somebody for over 50 years you expect better treatment.

Gotta admit, it never crossed my mind that a drunk in a wheelchair can't fall down.

There's a regular at my favorite dive that's in a motorized wheelchair. He's one of the few I like because he has a brain in his head and speaks intelligently. If he hasn't thought of it already, I'll bring it up that he could win money in drinking contests.

[Hugh]

I know a person or two that are attracted to overly crowded bars and nightclubs like a moth is to a lightbulb. I don`t get it in the least

Back in the late 90's I was a barfly. At least once I week, usually more, sometimes three to four nights a week. Throughout the early 90's I had been trapped by poverty so severe, I could not go out at all. The world was represented to me by what I saw on over-the-air television. I thought the rest of the world was out there together, having fun, and making fun of people like me who wore thrift-store clothes, lived in ratholes, and whose diet consisted of ramen and tuna. So when I finally started making money, I thought I had to go out there and prove to the world I wasn't a loser and an outcast. I thought that I could best to that by going to bars. I was practically walking up to people and saying, "Look, I'm not sitting at home in some little shithole compulsively masturbating or building mail bombs. I one of you guys!" It took a couple of years of putting myself through social anxiety and an arrest for DUI before I finally came to my senses. If I venture out now, it's to one of my little dives and I skip the socializing part.

[Hugh]

Just a test post to see what happens when my post count rolls over to 500...

[Hugh]

Hot damb! I got an assortment of bottles under my name and I'm being called an inebriate savant!

[RIPT2.0]

Hugh, you crack me up. Keep rocking Dude!