Boozing in a small town - the trials and tribulations

[RIPT2.0]

Drinking in a small town is great if you're just passing through because everyone wants to know who you are, so you can fuck with them with some wild stories. However, drinking in a small town kind of sucks if you live there because then everyone already knows who you are, so you can't get away with shit.

[Malibu Laurie]

Yeah back in the day WE BE GANGSTA coming up with all sorts of decoys.

Side note: Someone should make “drunkards companions” for ppl who have to drink around non-drunkards.

It would be something you can keep in your pocket and then plop into your cup when you want to conceal the actual amount of alcohol you’ve consumed.

“Wow! Beavis has barely even touched her drink!”

hmmmm... and also you could drink OTHER ppls drinks and just toss in a little companion to make up the difference.

[Artful Drunktective]

^ ^ ^ Whutchu talkin' about Willis drinkin' other people's drinks? Who does that?!

[Badfellow]

Why not drink purple colored vodka from a Gatorade bottle and call it sports drink? Sports drunk? Sports krunk? Reality mitigation fluid?

[Badfellow]

My experience with small town drinking scenes:

50% of the population are raging drunks.
40% of the population hide the fact that they are raging drunks.
10% of the population are uptight drys, an overly vocal minority.

[Mr Boozificator]

My experience with small town drinking scenes:

50% of the population are raging drunks.
40% of the population hide the fact that they are raging drunks.
10% of the population are uptight drys, an overly vocal minority.

Come to France, our 10% annoy the rest of the villagers by refusing to drink anything stronger than cognac.

[Savage]

Try living overseas on base. Doesn't get more small town than that. Every bottle you buy is docked against your ID, or your spouse's. There is a strict limit. (well, my info IS old, but I'll bet it's at least as tough, if not more so, these days)
Out in town the prices will eat your wallet right out of your pocket or purse. At least when I lived there, Staff NCOS and officers could purchase unlimited beer and wine (troop parties and all that, you know), but the good stuff, police yourself, before they do.

[Dirty Diamond Lou]

Sunglasses and pasty mustache. Problem? Solved.

[Artful Drunktective]

Sunglasses and pasty mustache. Problem? Solved.

Totally! If I thought wearing a blonde wig and some aviators would allow me to get away with the skulduggery, I totally would have done it. A fake mustache would really kick it up to the point where the townsfolk would think I was even more insane or mentally challenged than I really am. Very tempting idea...

[Dirty Diamond Lou]

Yeah back in the day WE BE GANGSTA coming up with all sorts of decoys.

Side note: Someone should make “drunkards companions” for ppl who have to drink around non-drunkards.

It would be something you can keep in your pocket and then plop into your cup when you want to conceal the actual amount of alcohol you’ve consumed.

“Wow! Beavis has barely even touched her drink!”

hmmmm... and also you could drink OTHER ppls drinks and just toss in a little companion to make up the difference.

Did Glenlivet actually introduce a "Cocktail Pod" or was that a hoax? Like a Tide Pod. Some CBS media covered the story. You can pop it in your mouth and the seaweed capsule dissolves to release the booze. Which sounds horrible because it would be like mouthwashing a shot. We manipulate our tongues to enhance flavor and taste for a reason. However, you drop one into a mixer of your choice and the capsule would dissolve. What the hell are we talking about?

Airplane bottles were created for a reason. A woman can easily stash 4 airplane bottles in her bra (more if she was ample with bosom) while you breeze through security at any concert venue.

[Badfellow]

My experience with small town drinking scenes:

50% of the population are raging drunks.
40% of the population hide the fact that they are raging drunks.
10% of the population are uptight drys, an overly vocal minority.

Come to France, our 10% annoy the rest of the villagers by refusing to drink anything stronger than cognac.

If I lived in a French village, I would have to break the cognac monotony with regular shots of calvados.

[Malibu Laurie]

However, you drop one into a mixer of your choice and the capsule would dissolve. What the hell are we talking about?

Those would definitely come in handy in my Gatorade decoy. I could drop one in without all the food coloring skullduggery and no one would ever know the wiser.

[Badfellow]

skulduggery

skullduggery

Skullduggery? What, did you both graduate from Vassar College, class of 1919?

[Artful Drunktective]

^ ^ ^ Yes we did graduate in 1919 but we went to Harvard and Oxford just like Frasier, which is where we coined it from because everything we did during those times was total skulduggz.

[Badfellow]

Skulduggz, now there's a term with which I am well versed.