I have farted when I peed. It's impossible to poop when you are standing unless you are really messed up.
Random shit
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- Lush City
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Re: Random shit
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
Re: Random shit
Thirsty only pees when he lays down
Drink!
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Random shit
Funny 'cause he said this about you in the oettinger thread.
How come everyone knows how everyone else pees?
Okole maluna!
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Re: Random shit
You can thank the internet for that one.Artful Drunktective wrote: ↑Sun Oct 11, 2020 5:27 amHow come everyone knows how everyone else pees?
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Re: Random shit
Just make sure you keep getting up at night to empty or have a very strong bladder that will hold until you awaken, whenever that may be. Somehow, it all works out.Artful Drunktective wrote: ↑Sun Oct 11, 2020 5:27 amFunny 'cause he said this about you in the oettinger thread.
How come everyone knows how everyone else pees?
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Random shit
Yes, when you are peeing we are there, we act like we ain't lookin but,
we lookin.
we lookin.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
Re: Random shit
I disagree with all of it. I have shat myself while standing and undrunk.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
- Lush City
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Re: Random shit
Yeah, you had the squirts or known as the GI trots!
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
Re: Random shit
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.
- Lush City
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Re: Random shit
My word, what is this world coming to?
Monty Python - And now for something completely different
https://youtu.be/al_iBlpTn80
Monty Python - And now for something completely different
https://youtu.be/al_iBlpTn80
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Random shit
If you drink the blue liquid in a Magic 8 ball you can see the future
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
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Re: Random shit
Let me tell you about the best cat in the world. My mother did not like animals. Too dirty! But one day, when I was in the eighth grade, a half-grown brown tabby followed me home from school, begging for attention. Later, in my room (front of the house, perfect for sneaking out at night, heh-heh)
little miss kitty came up to the screen and started meowing and purring and so I popped the screeb and let her in.
I figured she must be hungry so I went down the hall past my tv watching parents and got her some tuna and a little bowl of milk. She scarfed that stuff down like an insinkerator. Long story short, twelve years later, when I married the elderly jarhead, she had to stay with daddy (who doted on her) and finally, she died. At her top weight, she weighed somewhat more than twenty pounds. When took a flying leaps at you for a hug and cuddle, it was kind of like getting sandbagged.
Dogs feared her. I saw her scare one barking dog so bad that he ran into his house. Right through the screen door. When we were travelling crosscountry. I put a harness and leash on her so we didn't lose her in the wilds of Kentucky or some such. I took her out of the station wagon for some air and hoped she would take care of bodily function things, but she just flattened herself down, and lashed her tail, and commenced to hissing. We were at some red neck tiny town gas station and a young girl hardly older than me all but leapt into her boyfriends arms. "Oh lord, Billy Ray, thayut girrl got a wayuld cayut!"
I told kitty she could hold her stuff until we smuggled her into the hotel that night.
little miss kitty came up to the screen and started meowing and purring and so I popped the screeb and let her in.
I figured she must be hungry so I went down the hall past my tv watching parents and got her some tuna and a little bowl of milk. She scarfed that stuff down like an insinkerator. Long story short, twelve years later, when I married the elderly jarhead, she had to stay with daddy (who doted on her) and finally, she died. At her top weight, she weighed somewhat more than twenty pounds. When took a flying leaps at you for a hug and cuddle, it was kind of like getting sandbagged.
Dogs feared her. I saw her scare one barking dog so bad that he ran into his house. Right through the screen door. When we were travelling crosscountry. I put a harness and leash on her so we didn't lose her in the wilds of Kentucky or some such. I took her out of the station wagon for some air and hoped she would take care of bodily function things, but she just flattened herself down, and lashed her tail, and commenced to hissing. We were at some red neck tiny town gas station and a young girl hardly older than me all but leapt into her boyfriends arms. "Oh lord, Billy Ray, thayut girrl got a wayuld cayut!"
I told kitty she could hold her stuff until we smuggled her into the hotel that night.
like tears in rain
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Random shit
I really enjoyed this. I could envision all these hijinks as you told the story. Thanks for sharing.
Okole maluna!
Re: Random shit
We have the second best cat in the world then. He has a very short nose so he snores at times. That`s how we find him around our flat, just follow the snoring. Laundrybasket, behind the couch... you name it. His name is Sherlock so we refer to him as Sherlz-Vader
Drink!
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Re: Random shit
^^^ Snoring cats are just too much. I occasionally hear my cats snoring and it cracks me up every time.
Speaking of random I've been ripping some serious ass today. Really loud, long farts. The burning ass stench is nearly unbearable. Hope that was random enough.
Speaking of random I've been ripping some serious ass today. Really loud, long farts. The burning ass stench is nearly unbearable. Hope that was random enough.