“You asshole,” she said to me.
“Better out than in,” I replied.
Random shit
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
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- Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
- Posts: 1256
- Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2023 10:35 pm
- Location: New Orleans
Re: Random shit
“Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.” — Harry Caray
- scream ale
- Drinking Like W.C.
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- Location: Home usually.
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- Tippler
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- Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2024 9:32 am
- scream ale
- Drinking Like W.C.
- Posts: 6216
- Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 11:26 am
- Location: Home usually.
Re: Random shit
You're in or you're out.
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- Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
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- Location: New Orleans
Re: Random shit
It’s simple. If some guy is going to come out his house and order me to ‘get the fuck off his porch steps’ while I am explaining I just need a small breather, that guy is not going to ever be my friend. When his girlfriend won’t give way on the sidewalk and I have to walk around her onto the slippery grass with my cane, she is never going to be my friend either. I cut a big noisy fart, that is true, and I didn’t know she was directly behind me, and I was surprised I didn’t hear her behind me. Apparently she thought I cut the fart on purpose, cut it on her specifically. It’s an old saying I learned back in the day by a sweet old lady who would say it whenever one of us bellmen at the hotel let one go — “More room out than in.” And second, I don’t give a shit what the rude bitch thinks.SteavTheOne wrote: ↑Sun Feb 18, 2024 1:16 pmI’m
I don't understand if this is a way to lighten the mood or just a really bad joke that I just don't quite get, can you explain it please?
“Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.” — Harry Caray
Re: Random shit
Auto-play on youtube can lead to some emberassing music blasting through your speakers while you`re hitting the bathroom
Drink!
- Artful Drunktective
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5359
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- Location: Yautja Prime
Re: Random shit
Because the 70s...you too can get a Love Rug.
Might be the creepiest thing ever. Is that David Hasselhoff?!
Might be the creepiest thing ever. Is that David Hasselhoff?!
Okole maluna!
- Lush City
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5088
- Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:55 pm
- Location: Nearest tiki lounge
Re: Random shit
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
- Artful Drunktective
- Chugging Like Churchill
- Posts: 5359
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- Location: Yautja Prime
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- Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
- Posts: 1256
- Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2023 10:35 pm
- Location: New Orleans
Re: Random shit
Where would we be without artists, without music, without poets and writers? We would be in the shits. In a random shit. Where would we be without bus drivers, and baseball, and the fella down the block who always says good morning? The gal at the grocery store who smiles, recognizes you? Where would we be?
“Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.” — Harry Caray
Re: Random shit
A BLEAK AND DREARY WORLD STRIPPED OF LAUGHTER, CAMARADERIE, AND WARMTH.Thompson wrote: ↑Thu Apr 04, 2024 3:13 amWhere would we be without artists, without music, without poets and writers? We would be in the shits. In a random shit. Where would we be without bus drivers, and baseball, and the fella down the block who always says good morning? The gal at the grocery store who smiles, recognizes you? Where would we be?
A BLEAK AND DREARY WORLD, a bleak abyss.
The only buzz is boredom and it's hum.
THE SPIRITS ARE OF THE GHOSTS OF REVELRY PAST!
A perpetual Monday morning.
Our minds turn to sloths on sedatives.
Endless monotony. Punctuated with a... with a.... YAWWWWWWWN
It just hit me. I'm the same age as norm.
- Rye and Coke
- Inebriate Savant
- Posts: 887
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- Location: You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming?"
Re: Random shit
Okay, I hate bees and wasps.
Like, despise. If I see a bee or wasp and I can’t remove myself from the situation, I will shit myself. I have broken into full sprints down the street and have no shame.
So this afternoon, I was in my unfinished utility room (if you know, you know) when all of a sudden I heard a buzzing. I closed my eyes, turtled up and ran out the room, closed the door.
When I worked up the courage to look in the room it was the largest wasp/hornet I’ve ever seen.
I sprayed the beast with RAID, and closed the door. The room belongs to her now.
The only problem is that’s where I keep my booze and I don’t know what the wasp constitution towards ethanol is. So I’m going to have to go back in there to rescue some old friends.
Wish me luck.
Like, despise. If I see a bee or wasp and I can’t remove myself from the situation, I will shit myself. I have broken into full sprints down the street and have no shame.
So this afternoon, I was in my unfinished utility room (if you know, you know) when all of a sudden I heard a buzzing. I closed my eyes, turtled up and ran out the room, closed the door.
When I worked up the courage to look in the room it was the largest wasp/hornet I’ve ever seen.
I sprayed the beast with RAID, and closed the door. The room belongs to her now.
The only problem is that’s where I keep my booze and I don’t know what the wasp constitution towards ethanol is. So I’m going to have to go back in there to rescue some old friends.
Wish me luck.
"They told me to see the glass half full cause some see it as half empty
I chose to see the glass twice the size it needed to be" - Pharoahe Monch, 'Broken Again'
I chose to see the glass twice the size it needed to be" - Pharoahe Monch, 'Broken Again'
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- Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
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- Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2023 10:35 pm
- Location: New Orleans
Re: Random shit
So now I owe close to three grand to the hospital, that’s what Medicare doesn’t pay. That’s the co pay I guess. Why should I even think about paying that? The only reason I wish I would be alive after I’m dead is to tell these fuckers, these blood sucking fuckers, that I’m not paying for a funeral or an obituary or any such fucking thing. I don’t have any final expenses. What, you going to try to collect some money from my dog? Good luck, because he’s a mean son of a bitch when he wants to be, and he don’t read no fine print. So come on in and take what you want. Here, take this David Goodis novel. It is a hardback published by Library of America. Here, take this Townes Van Zandt record. It was recorded live in Austin Texas. Here, take this tv. It’s all yours. It’s got a crack in it and the crack is getting bigger.
“Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.” — Harry Caray