Drinking Toasts to remember

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

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Hardcore Stig
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Hardcore Stig »

An old one from my ship days:

Here's to you and here's to me
The best of friends we'll always be
But if, by chance, you disagree,
The fuck you all, and here's to me.

And do steal from an old song:

And there's nothing so desperate, so dull or so drear,
as to sit at the bar, of a pub with no beer
So raise me a glass, as I sit right here
And pray once more, I'll never face that fear.

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lmr5150
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by lmr5150 »

Ripped this one off from a movie: "We may not always get what we want, we may not always get what we need, just so long as we don't get what we deserve."

Or as David Lee Roth says, "I am living single, but I am drinking double!"

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Fredd
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Fredd »

Does anyone know the full version of this toast:

Here's to the hole that never heals,
The more you rub it the better it feels,
And all the soap this side of Hell,
Won't wash away that fishy smell,
...
...
Syphyllis, blue balls, crabs and lice,
I've had them all by Jesus Christ,
Gentlemen,
The Queen

I think it is from a comedy duo called Maclean & Maclean
Thanks

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Uncle Gary
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Uncle Gary »

Here's to swimmin'
with bowlegged women.
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph

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Whiskeydick
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Whiskeydick »

"I drink therefore I am."
I drink therefore I AM!

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peetie44
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by peetie44 »

"Here's to pussy
Which all men crave
Dark as a well and deep as a cave
It's got more hair than a motherfuckin' hog
And eats more meat than a sunnavabitchin' dog"
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk

"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be

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KaosDad
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by KaosDad »

If you are an old school gamer:

Toaster 1 - "Here's to us!"
Toaster 2 -"Who's like us?"
Toaster 3 -"Damn few!"
All - "And they're ALL dead!"

A bit of philosphy: "Great Minds think alike." "But Fools seldom differ."

Here's to the women that I've loved
and all the ones I've kissed.
As for regrets, I just have one;
that's all the ones I've missed.
Oh, women's faults are many,
us men have only two:
Every single thing we say,
and everything we do.

And finally:
One Martini,
Two Martini,
Three Martini,
Floor
Image

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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by **** »

"here's to livin' like schneider: one day at a time."

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peetie44
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by peetie44 »

DIVORCE:

"The fucking you get for the fucking you got"
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk

"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be

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Dr. Dotto S. Blotto
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Dr. Dotto S. Blotto »

ms. awesomesauce wrote:"here's to livin' like schneider: one day at a time."
I especially like this one.
Slave to the Id since 1968.
Less Talk, More Monkey

"DRIVE, MONKEY! DRIVE!" - Dante

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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Shotski's »

Holy shit some of these are too damn funny!
It's been a while since I've read the new ones, and all I can say is The Modern Drunkard Forum Members fucking kick ass!
Bobby Barnes
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http://www.shotskis.com
http://www.BombShots.com

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Dr. Dotto S. Blotto
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Dr. Dotto S. Blotto »

If the ocean were whiskey
and I were a duck
I'd swim to the bottom
and never come up!

"My whiskey, My whiskey, My whiskey" I cry!
If I don't have whiskey I surely will die.
Slave to the Id since 1968.
Less Talk, More Monkey

"DRIVE, MONKEY! DRIVE!" - Dante

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divine
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by divine »

"drinking is never the answer, it is the question. The answer is always yes"

This toast is a good one when everyone at the table is drunk except for one (or a few) persons who start to complain that the rest should stop drinking. It is extra good if the Yes part is yelled by all inebriated ones.
Don't be undrunk my son. It serves no cause.

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Drinky the Drunk Guy
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Drinky the Drunk Guy »

I've modified something I read somewhere on these pages to make it rhyme a lil better...
(to be toasted late in the festivities)

"I do think
we've had enough to drink
now the time is such...
let's drink too much"

I even managed to spit it out correctly once or twice.
(and, in my head, I've got it down as an awesome Coutry Music song)
"When I'm not drinkin'... I'm thinkin' 'bout drinkin'..." — The Meat Purveyors

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DrinkPlanner
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by DrinkPlanner »

I heard this one recently, my friend called it the "Frank Sinatra Toast"

"To our enemies...fuck 'em!"

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