Drinking Toasts to remember

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

Moderators: Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar

User avatar
Hardcore Stig
Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
Posts: 1104
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2007 6:48 pm
Location: Sunderland, North East England

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Hardcore Stig » Mon Mar 17, 2008 7:40 pm

An old one from my ship days:

Here's to you and here's to me
The best of friends we'll always be
But if, by chance, you disagree,
The fuck you all, and here's to me.

And do steal from an old song:

And there's nothing so desperate, so dull or so drear,
as to sit at the bar, of a pub with no beer
So raise me a glass, as I sit right here
And pray once more, I'll never face that fear.

User avatar
lmr5150
Booze Head
Booze Head
Posts: 48
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 9:28 pm

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by lmr5150 » Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:03 pm

Ripped this one off from a movie: "We may not always get what we want, we may not always get what we need, just so long as we don't get what we deserve."

Or as David Lee Roth says, "I am living single, but I am drinking double!"

User avatar
Fredd
Tippler
Tippler
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:31 pm

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Fredd » Mon Apr 14, 2008 6:40 pm

Does anyone know the full version of this toast:

Here's to the hole that never heals,
The more you rub it the better it feels,
And all the soap this side of Hell,
Won't wash away that fishy smell,
...
...
Syphyllis, blue balls, crabs and lice,
I've had them all by Jesus Christ,
Gentlemen,
The Queen

I think it is from a comedy duo called Maclean & Maclean
Thanks

User avatar
Uncle Gary
Lord of Benders
Lord of Benders
Posts: 287
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2007 6:51 pm
Location: Scotch Town

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Uncle Gary » Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:36 pm

Here's to swimmin'
with bowlegged women.
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph

User avatar
Whiskeydick
Hooch Hound
Hooch Hound
Posts: 50
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 12:44 pm
Location: My brother's bar!

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Whiskeydick » Sun Apr 20, 2008 3:45 pm

"I drink therefore I am."
I drink therefore I AM!

User avatar
peetie44
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 10390
Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:05 am
Location: Belgium, Austin TX, SoCal, Branson MO, Cape Cod MA

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by peetie44 » Thu Apr 24, 2008 7:31 am

"Here's to pussy
Which all men crave
Dark as a well and deep as a cave
It's got more hair than a motherfuckin' hog
And eats more meat than a sunnavabitchin' dog"
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk

"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be

User avatar
KaosDad
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 508
Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2008 2:05 pm
Location: The Bar in Broadlands

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by KaosDad » Wed Apr 30, 2008 1:19 pm

If you are an old school gamer:

Toaster 1 - "Here's to us!"
Toaster 2 -"Who's like us?"
Toaster 3 -"Damn few!"
All - "And they're ALL dead!"

A bit of philosphy: "Great Minds think alike." "But Fools seldom differ."

Here's to the women that I've loved
and all the ones I've kissed.
As for regrets, I just have one;
that's all the ones I've missed.
Oh, women's faults are many,
us men have only two:
Every single thing we say,
and everything we do.

And finally:
One Martini,
Two Martini,
Three Martini,
Floor
Image

****
Drinking Like W.C.
Drinking Like W.C.
Posts: 6054
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:47 pm

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by **** » Fri May 09, 2008 12:31 am

"here's to livin' like schneider: one day at a time."

User avatar
peetie44
Juicing Like Jackie
Juicing Like Jackie
Posts: 10390
Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:05 am
Location: Belgium, Austin TX, SoCal, Branson MO, Cape Cod MA

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by peetie44 » Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:59 pm

DIVORCE:

"The fucking you get for the fucking you got"
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk

"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be

User avatar
Dr. Dotto S. Blotto
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 683
Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 10:29 am
Location: here with you.
Contact:

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Dr. Dotto S. Blotto » Fri Jun 06, 2008 4:04 pm

ms. awesomesauce wrote:"here's to livin' like schneider: one day at a time."
I especially like this one.
Slave to the Id since 1968.
Less Talk, More Monkey

"DRIVE, MONKEY! DRIVE!" - Dante

Shotski's
Souse
Souse
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 7:03 pm
Location: Florida
Contact:

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Shotski's » Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:22 pm

Holy shit some of these are too damn funny!
It's been a while since I've read the new ones, and all I can say is The Modern Drunkard Forum Members fucking kick ass!
Bobby Barnes
Shotski's Bar Supplies & Party Mixes
http://www.shotskis.com
http://www.BombShots.com

User avatar
Dr. Dotto S. Blotto
Inebriate Savant
Inebriate Savant
Posts: 683
Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 10:29 am
Location: here with you.
Contact:

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Dr. Dotto S. Blotto » Sat Jun 07, 2008 9:54 am

If the ocean were whiskey
and I were a duck
I'd swim to the bottom
and never come up!

"My whiskey, My whiskey, My whiskey" I cry!
If I don't have whiskey I surely will die.
Slave to the Id since 1968.
Less Talk, More Monkey

"DRIVE, MONKEY! DRIVE!" - Dante

User avatar
divine
Hooch Hound
Hooch Hound
Posts: 92
Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2008 5:31 am
Location: Belgium

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by divine » Wed Jun 11, 2008 5:43 am

"drinking is never the answer, it is the question. The answer is always yes"

This toast is a good one when everyone at the table is drunk except for one (or a few) persons who start to complain that the rest should stop drinking. It is extra good if the Yes part is yelled by all inebriated ones.
Don't be undrunk my son. It serves no cause.

User avatar
Drinky the Drunk Guy
Booze Head
Booze Head
Posts: 32
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2005 12:24 pm
Location: Central IL

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Drinky the Drunk Guy » Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:58 pm

I've modified something I read somewhere on these pages to make it rhyme a lil better...
(to be toasted late in the festivities)

"I do think
we've had enough to drink
now the time is such...
let's drink too much"

I even managed to spit it out correctly once or twice.
(and, in my head, I've got it down as an awesome Coutry Music song)
"When I'm not drinkin'... I'm thinkin' 'bout drinkin'..." — The Meat Purveyors

User avatar
DrinkPlanner
Hooch Hound
Hooch Hound
Posts: 89
Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:34 pm
Location: Atlanta, GA
Contact:

Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by DrinkPlanner » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:06 pm

I heard this one recently, my friend called it the "Frank Sinatra Toast"

"To our enemies...fuck 'em!"

Post Reply