Isn't 'Dry Wedding' and oxymoron?
How in the hell is one supposed to get 'weddin drunk' at a DRY WEDDING for chrissakes?
I vote for the camelback. Fill 'er up, and just come up with some medical reason for the hump on your back....Or perhaps hide it in one of those pull along oxygen tank baskets some of the really old people use. Modify the face mask/oxygen tubes into a booze delivery system....No one will begrudge you your life saving "oxygen".
Shit, you're gonna need at least 4 flasks...Will your date carry a couple for you?
good luck! :-)
dry wedding
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- Two Hearted
- Drunker Than God
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Re: dry wedding
The cabin sits shut-down, cold-frozen and empty, dead mice in the traps, waiting for me to drink alone there in the dark.
--Smatter
--Smatter
Re: dry wedding
The have a device called "the Beer Belly". I suggest you invest in a bigger jacket.
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- Hooching Like Hemingway
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Re: dry wedding
A Camelbak will not survive many boozings.
They kick ass for hydration, but they're tough to clean. And do NOT EVER put beer in them. They get funky in about 6 seconds.
I had a shot of WT 101 right before I got married. My bride was irate- because she was undrunk. Luckily, she soon rectified that. I'd seen kegstands before... but never a champagne-fountain stand.
They kick ass for hydration, but they're tough to clean. And do NOT EVER put beer in them. They get funky in about 6 seconds.
I had a shot of WT 101 right before I got married. My bride was irate- because she was undrunk. Luckily, she soon rectified that. I'd seen kegstands before... but never a champagne-fountain stand.
nic the chick wrote:ivan and casino are right.
Re: dry wedding
justice of the peace. case closed.
That's what I call Drunkard justice. I hate prisses like that. They're mincing their way through life when they should be marching. ~fkr.
I wish i could find me a woman who drinks!~ruiner..on lack of women drinkers.
I wish i could find me a woman who drinks!~ruiner..on lack of women drinkers.
- peetie44
- Juicing Like Jackie
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Re: dry wedding
k37,
I've got a question.
As I can't think of too many people, outside of family, who would invite me to a dry wedding, am I correct in assuming this is a family (your own or in-law) affair?
If so, I can understand the need to attend, but also -- with family and/or in-law relations being what they sometimes are -- your possible need to get juiced; if only for self-preservation.
No matter, good luck to you!
I've got a question.
As I can't think of too many people, outside of family, who would invite me to a dry wedding, am I correct in assuming this is a family (your own or in-law) affair?
If so, I can understand the need to attend, but also -- with family and/or in-law relations being what they sometimes are -- your possible need to get juiced; if only for self-preservation.
No matter, good luck to you!
"Man i once bought $101 worth of insect candy because it was free shipping on orders over 100 bucks." -- ThirstyDrunk
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
"I wanted a shark high on crack dumped into a piranha tank! I wanted college AD's to pull their human faces off, then dive at each other's lizard throats!" -- waahoohah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01p7k6T ... e=youtu.be
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- Hooching Like Hemingway
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Re: dry wedding
Clarify for me.
Is this a dry wedding in that they dont have a bar.
or is it a dry wedding in that they don't ALLOW alcohol?
Both seem sort of odd but...
Is this a dry wedding in that they dont have a bar.
or is it a dry wedding in that they don't ALLOW alcohol?
Both seem sort of odd but...
Bundy wrote:"I say Rooster old bean! sally forth with another pair of pink gins for these jolly lovely gels and we'll see if they arent up for a spot of rumpy pumpy before we have to dash off and give Jerry another sound thrashing, what? Tally ho!"
Re: dry wedding
this thread title alone TOTALLY disturbs me.
- captain gonzo
- Inebriate Savant
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Re: dry wedding
We should mob the wedding and bring booze along...
if the happy couple dont like free booze im sure as hell some of the guests will.
if the happy couple dont like free booze im sure as hell some of the guests will.
Drunk? I'm not drunk! You wouldn't dare accuse me of that if I was s0ber!
- MeanOldLady
- Drunker Than God
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Re: dry wedding
kowalksi, don't! i've been in a dry wedding! (painful flashbacks) there was (pant) taffeta (gasp) powder blue .... and christian rock! it's not too late, there's still time. fake your own death if you must.
wait, goslings 151?
wait, goslings 151?
"Vodka is the Harry Potter of Booze, fun at first but ultimately unsatisfying and made for children." -The Lush
"If you can't trust the inner monkey, who can you trust?" -F. Sott Blitzedgerald
"this thread should be called WEAK drunk pics. more people should be bloody and passed out" -old crow
"If you can't trust the inner monkey, who can you trust?" -F. Sott Blitzedgerald
"this thread should be called WEAK drunk pics. more people should be bloody and passed out" -old crow
- happydrunk
- Hooching Like Hemingway
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Re: dry wedding
I agree with MOL - avoid it if you can. I got dragged to a dry wedding down in Virginia once and it was probably the lamest event I have ever been to. I think we ended up sneaking out to the parking lot to have a few drinks from the bottle, but that didn't really help since there wasn't much "fun" going on anyway. I think my hatred of Virginia is due to this wedding.
I'm not so think as you drunk I am.
Hell is no bourbon - Ms. Savage
Because that's how you win. Gunpowder and rum.,
Hell is no bourbon - Ms. Savage
Because that's how you win. Gunpowder and rum.,
- WineGoddess
- Super Drunkard
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Re: dry wedding
Oh for F's sake just show up at the church and not the reception. Give the required present/money with the apology that they were all lucky the church didn't fall down on their heads because you attended.kowalski37 wrote:Possibly my greatest drinking challenge yet: drink my way through a dry wedding due to take place in 3 weeks time.
Am thinking 2 hip flasks. However, I'll have to plan the purchase (probably online somewhere) of some stronger than average booze. I very rarely see anything over 40% abv in shops. and given the limited capacity (~500ml) of my flasks (and the practicalities of carrying them), the stronger the better. I probably won't have a chance to refill unless I can come up with a devious plan (unlikely).
I could probably mix the stuff, so it doesn't need to be the greatest tasting booze - potency is what will count...
If they object then ask them, "Isn't the most important part the ceremony?"
It has long been recognized that the problems with alcohol relate not to the use of a bad thing, but to the abuse of a good thing. - Abraham Lincoln
- WineGoddess
- Super Drunkard
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Re: dry wedding
I forgot, then show up at the nearest gin-joint and toast the bride and groom. If you are really polite and discreet, letting everyone know where you've been - most will come to join you.
I haven't read all of the replies so if this is a repeat of other advice...
GOOD!!!!!!!!
I haven't read all of the replies so if this is a repeat of other advice...
GOOD!!!!!!!!
It has long been recognized that the problems with alcohol relate not to the use of a bad thing, but to the abuse of a good thing. - Abraham Lincoln
Re: dry wedding
Getting totally smashed at events that are supposed to be "dry", is a hell of time.
Don't pretend you don't remember how fun it was to pound room temperature vodka before highschool dances, the same concept applies to movie theatres (also an excellent place to defy smoking bans), dry weddings, and mormon baptisms.
Don't pretend you don't remember how fun it was to pound room temperature vodka before highschool dances, the same concept applies to movie theatres (also an excellent place to defy smoking bans), dry weddings, and mormon baptisms.
- Emperor Awesome
- Lord of Benders
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Re: dry wedding
Just got back from the reception, 15 G&T's later, popped open a Guinness, good morning!
"I need a hundred beers...exactly one hundred, thank you."
-Nathan Explosion
"Does whiskey count as beer?"
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"I am getting so drunk when we get paid for this."
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-Nathan Explosion
"Does whiskey count as beer?"
-Homer Simpson
"Swaggering about in a garish new hat he seemed to say, 'Look at me, Rex Banner, I have a new hat.'"
"I am getting so drunk when we get paid for this."
-Sydney, Fallout 3