To say nothing of all the spiders we swallow.

AND DON'T BOTHER SNOPES-ING ME I KNOW THEY ARE IN THE POCKET OF "BIG SPIDER"

Pisco is an un-aged brandy, popular in Chile and Peru. It's typically made with the trash grapes and stems, ie, byproducts of winemaking.

Got engraved flasks for all my groomsmen when I got married. Pretty sure mine is the only one still in heavy use.

Other essentials in the drunkard toolkit
- Rakish charm
- Money or means of hustling others
- Map of Montana

Your better, "Grown Up" cocktails have a pretty strict set of notes to hit: base spirit, weirdo apertif wine, some kind of bitter, and then a plant garnish. Recipes that deviate too far from this ideal are rarely worth the effort. And even recipes that follow this guideline are usually better at a b...

Wow, don't remember posting this. Immaculate grammar though, as always. Thanks, auto-pilot!

...and now I'm into the gin. Got a job offer today. Took a piss test, luckily have abstained from the devil weed for about 2 months, shouldnt be a prob.

Cheers to you farts!

For me, Canadian whisky, even the good stuff, is just missing something. There's no muscularity, no backbone. Like somebody took a "Whiskey" flavor packet, sprinkled it into some cheap vodka and screwed off for the rest of the afternoon. I'd take a cheap bourbon over Crown any day.

My folks used to give me sips of their roadies IN THE CAR. Different times, man.

I went to a divey college bar (right next to campus) during my Master's program and was fortunate to see this minor evolution: they installed a cheap toaster over at the end of the back bar. I thought it was brilliant. You got liquored up college kids jonesing for grub, so you charge 'em $6 for a pl...

I once crashed at a friend's parents' house because there was no way i could drive. They put me on a pullout sofa and I passed out. I woke up needing to take a leak and at first I couldn't find the bedroom door. The place was pitch black and it was a condo so the doors were on these weird diagonals....

That spacesuit is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

Some of my suburban friends talk about the shenanigans they get up to around Halloween, where the kids go trick-or-treating and the parents hang back and tow around a little red wagon of booze and mixers. Seems efficient. As for home use, I think a liquor cabinet is a more fitting shrine to almighty...

The greatest fear of the right is that Obama's version of Romneycare will work. The law as it is helps corporations and encourages personal responsibility, things the GOP should in theory be in favor of. However, it was implemented by a darky, so it's automatically bad. When the main opponents of yo...

Crush on Will Smith? How does he feel about Bad Boys?

Fortunately, my wife can't abide watching anything more than once, so even if she subjects us to something bad I know I won't ever have to see it again.

That said, I'll never watch Drive again. What a boring piece of shit.

Not really a line but one time I was at a party on a friend's roof deck and a gentleman who had been overserved yelled some nonsense about being the only guy who knew anything, everyone else was fucking stupid, etc. Pretty typical drunken buffoonery but for some reason it caused the whole joint to g...