Does the toaster still work?

The Market on Magazine, in my neighborhood, is supposed to open at seven. Now this is a serious opening, because I am waiting outside looking up at the sky wondering what time it is. I have been Out of Drink since I woke up and my mood is falling. Why do I let this shit happen? Why can’t I keep stoc...

The head cop, and I saw him, stuck a box of nicotine patches in his shirt pocket. What, I said, You confiscating my nicotine patches? Sure. Hey what’s this book, A Home to Crouch In? Got some scribble on the first page. No don’t take that. You won’t like it. See how fuzzy his photo is? Take this fir...

The cops came over just now and then left. No, I only had one beer left to last all evening. I didn’t offer a pull off the Taaka either. I kept the bottle hidden, and it looked like I was going to need every pull of that bottle for myself. We are here Thompson, said the head cop, to assess your asse...

See they did it again. You cannot say the word ‘sobre, they change it to ‘undrunk’. Who did that? Artful? That’s my guess. Artful is quite devious but not the culprit in this case. Blame the Editor of MDM, slurred be his name, for programming it into the board itself. It is sort of clever. The firs...

Guard Dog looked down in the dumps. C’mon boy, said Dix, let’s go down to the food truck and get us a hotdog. Hugh is in there experimenting on a new recipe. So Guard Dog and Dix walked down the steps and went in to the food truck. Howdy, Hugh, said Dix. Howdy back, said Hugh. Got some hotdogs ready...

See they did it again. You cannot say the word ‘sobre, they change it to ‘undrunk’. Who did that? Artful? That’s my guess.

I like this. I always tell the people that at Modern Drunkard message board you can post away without fear. There is no censorship. But there is. The moderates do not like the word ‘undrunk’, they change it to ‘undrunk’, that’s cool.

Test

Test

You in a foul mood today, Thompson? Yes. What’s wrong, your best friend let you down? He didn’t help. You know, he sends me his latest revision of his unpublished novel and I’m (once again) supposed to look for typos and make comments and send it back. I’ve already read the thing four times and I’ve...

Do you get a trophy if you win the bowling tournament, said Thompson? A team trophy? Or a trophy for everybody on the team? I was thinking about the stripper girls. We could enter them in the next tournament. And, this place is perfect for Hugh and the food truck. Have you tried his tacos yet? Yes, ...

They rode the Harley into Head Cold. They had to stop at a petro station (they call gas stations petro stations in Alaska) to ask directions. It was around noon. Sleepy looking town, said Badfellow. Look, they got a bowling alley over there, said Thompson, and a pool hall right next door. The Head C...

Do you think all us drunks hate our mothers, said Thompson to Badfellow? We’re not supposed to, said Badfellow. It’s okay to bad mouth them and put them down and tell stories, but we’re not supposed to hate them. They went through a lot of trouble to spit us out of their thing down there. I can’t re...

It’s more than all that. The narrator, Jerry Jeff, is lost in his own song, it’s like seeing a dog smile at you and wag his tail. It’s even more than that. When he has Bojangles telling his story, about the honky tonks and traveling around (cause he lives like he does) but it’s his language — he end...