Screw The Family Plot! I Want To Be Remembered This Way...

Palinka (RIP) · Post by **Palinka (RIP)** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 10:43 am

"It was Josiah Spode who really invented this, back in the eighteenth century," Charles Krafft explained at a press conference in Seattle, "when he came up with the cattle bone and ash formula for bone china. The idea of Cremains is simply to take the idea to its logical conclusion, by incorporating cremated human remains into our pottery. Some people think that it's in bad taste, but I believe that many Americans would like to preserve their loved ones as a ceramic work of art."
Krafft was explaining the concept behind his Cremains company, which specialises in making china knick-knacks from the ashes of cremated corpses. "We call the material 'Spone,'" he said, "and we've already made several customised pieces for bereaved clients. We mix part of the ashes with clay to make some sort of a reliquary, or container, and use that to store the rest of the ashes, so the piece is both decorative and practical. This one is a little pink figurine of the Hindu God Ganesh, and this is a life-sized model of a Second World War helmet. But my favourite so far is this model of an Absolut vodka bottle, which was ordered by friends of David C. McCann, who drank himself to death at the age of fifty-one. At first, his friends wanted to make him into a plate and hang it on the wall, but in the end they thought that he would prefer to live for eternity in the same way he died, so they ordered the vodka bottle. It looks very realistic, and it contains real vodka too. Who knows? He may even end up in a museum."

(South Jersey News, 24th July 2003)

LuckyStrikes · Post by **LuckyStrikes** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 11:32 am

Palinka, I hate to break this to you. Especially in open forum. But word has it they aren't letting you into the family plot anyway. Afraid your body will destroy all plant material within a mile radius.

Now, what bottle would you like to be preserved in?

Dan Quixote · Post by **Dan Quixote** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 11:47 am

That's beautiful, Palinka. I can see your descendants now: "Quit hoggin' great grampa! I want a swig!" Hell, I'm pretty sure they could drain your blood and drink it as a resonably strong variant of palinka.

Palinka (RIP) · Post by **Palinka (RIP)** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 11:53 am

A whisky bottle, of course.

Better make it a lead-lined whisky bottle to be on the safe side.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure cremation would be such a good idea in my case.

Nahhh, better off getting the Army to detonate me in a controlled explosion.

LuckyStrikes · Post by **LuckyStrikes** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 11:56 am

Dan Quixote wrote:That's beautiful, Palinka. I can see your descendants now: "Quit hoggin' great grampa! I want a swig!" Hell, I'm pretty sure they could drain your blood and drink it as a resonably strong variant of palinka.

Hahaha! Good one Dan!

Savage · Post by **Savage** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 3:25 pm

Wow, Palinka. This has made me reconsider my skeleton in the library idea. And as my favorite childhood books were the Alices, I could be a bottle and a plate, with "eat me" and "drink me" written in flowing script. Though the religious overtones might be a bit much for some of the heathens I know.

Post by **Oggar** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 3:45 pm

I could be turned into a giant beer stein and even after I was dead people would fill me with beer. Sort of like the time I passed out and my friends made me do 2 beer bongs...

TARTANSPECIAL · Post by **TARTANSPECIAL** » Tue Aug 26, 2003 5:10 pm

Well the comment i got from one of my friends, was, if i decide to be cremated, there had better be a fire crew on hand.