inspiration, please?

deadpuppiesandwhores · Sun Aug 31, 2003 5:59 pm

i have a great drunken story to regale, but i'll be damned if i'm not all blocked up. help.

deadpuppiesandwhores · Sun Aug 31, 2003 6:02 pm

wait. i have a friend leaving in a few days. we're going to the bar shortly. i promise creative entertainment later this evening.

LuckyStrikes · Post by **LuckyStrikes** » Sun Aug 31, 2003 6:07 pm

I got some good ones too. I'm still numb from the all drinking I did in 48 hours, my brain is floating. I do remember my friend shitting on himself in a bar. He didn't leave either. He was chatting up a chick that he thought he had a chance with. I was like, "if she did take you home, how were you gonna explain the dried shit on your ass?".

Palinka (RIP) · Post by **Palinka (RIP)** » Sun Aug 31, 2003 6:11 pm

Go for it.
I find sucking down a bottle of liquor helps the creative process.
Or maybe I just think it does.
Who fucking cares?

deadpuppiesandwhores · Sun Aug 31, 2003 6:12 pm

LuckyStrikes wrote:I got some good ones too. I'm still numb from the all drinking I did in 48 hours, my brain is floating. I do remember my friend shitting on himself in a bar. He didn't leave either. He was chatting up a chick that he thought he had a chance with. I was like, "if she did take you home, how were you gonna explain the dried shit on your ass?".

i was laughing so hard, i may have just shit MYself. having a job that is 95% male, you did just remind me of plenty of shit stories, good ones too, only i think i'll keep those to myself until i'm old and my memoirs won't be published until i expire.

LuckyStrikes · Post by **LuckyStrikes** » Sun Aug 31, 2003 8:25 pm

deadpuppiesandwhores wrote:
LuckyStrikes wrote:I got some good ones too. I'm still numb from the all drinking I did in 48 hours, my brain is floating. I do remember my friend shitting on himself in a bar. He didn't leave either. He was chatting up a chick that he thought he had a chance with. I was like, "if she did take you home, how were you gonna explain the dried shit on your ass?".
i was laughing so hard, i may have just shit MYself. having a job that is 95% male, you did just remind me of plenty of shit stories, good ones too, only i think i'll keep those to myself until i'm old and my memoirs won't be published until i expire.

Well for everyone's sake at the bar you are going to tonight DPAW, wash your ass!

Post by **Oggar** » Mon Sep 01, 2003 3:58 am

I justt popped in becuase everey body I waas drinking with has passed out. To be fair so did I but I;m awakke now booxing again. Lucky the story of your friend is proof of the emboldening powres of alcohol. How many undrunk people would try to pick up with a load in their panes? But pehaps in the backwater in which you are traapped it happens more often.

LuckyStrikes · Post by **LuckyStrikes** » Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:56 am

Oggar wrote:I justt popped in becuase everey body I waas drinking with has passed out. To be fair so did I but I;m awakke now booxing again. Lucky the story of your friend is proof of the emboldening powres of alcohol. How many undrunk people would try to pick up with a load in their panes? But pehaps in the backwater in which you are traapped it happens more often.

Oggar, I escaped to the wilds of New York city this weekend. Two days of staggaring on concrete. I turned into a sweet potato Sunday afternoon and was dropped back into the land of hee haw.

I didn't know my friend had shat on himself until we were in the taxi. Me: "Gawd, this cab smells like shit!!" Friend: "Oh, it musta been the Indian food and the tequila shots. I shat on myself back at the bar. It's dry now. Wanna try this bar in the meatpacking district. We still have an hour."

Omar The Tentmaker · Post by **Omar The Tentmaker** » Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:07 pm

haha thats some funny shit! I said shit hahaha

TARTANSPECIAL · Post by **TARTANSPECIAL** » Mon Sep 01, 2003 5:39 pm

O.k you want a shit story, try this.
My mates and i were in the pub, met some females who invited us to a party. My mate, who was pished out of his skull went to the toilet in this girls house. After a while i went looking for him, he had locked himself in the toilet. He told me he had sat down for a shit, but forgot to pull his underpants down.
So he had shit his pants, then tried to flush them, blocking the toilet. We legged it with shitty water flowing down the stairs and the smell of shit, permeating everything :twisted:

Chelsea40oz · Post by **Chelsea40oz** » Mon Sep 01, 2003 5:43 pm

:shock: Makes trainspotting look like a walk in the park.

deadpuppiesandwhores · Mon Sep 01, 2003 6:15 pm

i don't know how this became a shit story thread, but hey, if it works.....

TARTANSPECIAL · Post by **TARTANSPECIAL** » Mon Sep 01, 2003 6:19 pm

deadpuppiesandwhores wrote:i don't know how this became a shit story thread, but hey, if it works.....

If the shit fits, wear it!!!!!!!

TARTANSPECIAL · Post by **TARTANSPECIAL** » Mon Sep 01, 2003 6:21 pm

Chelsea40ozBondage! wrote::shock: Makes trainspotting look like a walk in the park.

that film was a bastardisation of junkidom, if you see a real junkie, SHOOT THE BASTARD and send me the pics. :twisted: :twisted:

LuckyStrikes · Post by **LuckyStrikes** » Mon Sep 01, 2003 7:17 pm

Shit is an interesting topic. There are different kinds of shit

Teflon-coated Shit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it !!!!

Second Thought Shit
You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it ..... you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Bungee Shit
The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.

The Crippler
The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet for sooooo long that your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.

Oh Shit ! Shit
You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously - you run out of toilet paper and you say, "OH SHIT !"

The Never Ending Shit
It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pee, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at K.F.C.

The Party Pooper
The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.