Tooheys Extra Dry - A review.

[Insert A. Username]

I've slowly been reviewing the various bargain beers Australia has to offer, and posting the results on my blog. I figured, seeing as you lot are a booze oriented tribe, I'd cross post some of them over here in the interest of education...

Tooheys Extra Dry Review.

I have returned to this bastion of teenage drinking, as it holds a special place in my heart. There was a time when I would drink these things like water at various nervous and emotional house parties, after our regular losses on the football field (where I did a stellar job of heating the bench) and at the various local pubs and clubs designed expressly to cater for those sporting unconvincing facial hair. It is also the beer that first introduced my girlfriend to beer, and the beer we were drinking when we met, so I felt I should revisit it.

Toohey’s Extra Dry is one of the more prominent examples of the “cold filtered” genre of beers. These are lagers that have been filtered to within an inch of their lives in order to remove undesirable elements, such as beer. First popularised in America, this style has since spread around the world, and is designed to be drunk in huge quantities by those who possess no particular affinity for beer, but want to get drunk on something that is cheap, available by the case, and not as embarrassing as a premix. The style’s popularity is almost singularly responsible in the growth of beer appreciation societies, such as the Campaign for Real Ale, who view it as something of an aberration, responsible for slowly killing real beer (“real beer”, in this case, refers to ales with the consistency and colour of Turkish coffee).

The promotional material boasts “a cool, crisp taste” (or something to that effect) and is famous for it’s slightly disturbing and sometimes downright confusing television adverts, including one featuring an errant tongue that was intended to portray how great the beer was, but instead left everyone with vivid images of the considerable amount of filth it would accumulate during its travels. The beer itself arrives in a slightly disturbing bottle, in that it is both completely clear, and made of plastic. It also comes in glass bottles, and the plastic bottle is apparently intended for sale at large events, in order to prevent people from lodging shards of glass in each other should a disagreement over sporting teams, or who’s car has the more ridiculous body kit, ensue. Though this is no doubt a noble and prudent cause, it doesn’t exactly fill me with hope.

The Tasting.

Nose: The scent is beer-esque at first, rounding to a distinct edge of frothy nothingness. When concentrating hard one can detect a faintly perceivable whiff of hops. It’s surprisingly unpleasant, given the weakness of the aroma, with undertones of plastic injection moulding machines and sulphurous fart.

Cold tasting: It tastes very much like carbonated water, though without water’s body and hoppy finish. The aftertaste is nasty enough to suggest the beer will fair poorly in the warm tasting, with metallic and chemical tones. That said, if one wanted to down a lot of beer fairly briskly, this might be a good choice of brew.

Warm tasting: Virtually undrinkable. The aroma of sulphurous fart was a harbinger of impending doom. The sensation is one of turning around to be confronted by a rushing wave of bile, and being unable to close your mouth before it hits you.

Verdict: The clear bottle is never a good sign, and that trend continues here. When consumed cold it is slightly better than most other cold filtered beers, but some might say that’s akin to comparing different types of torture. For teenagers, and people who think that tuning cars primarily involves huge plastic body kits and purple/green two-tone metallic paint.

One star.