The Bender Defined (Commentary)

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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by mistah willies »

2 years?

Thread bump. Someone notably post something like this half way through the pages of this thread:

"A bender lasts at least a week. If it's everyday, that's a lifestyle."

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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by Dear Booze »

This thread and the one asking for a definitive description of an Irish bar have always puzzled me.

A bender is a wild drinking binge. As simple as that. Why do we need any fucking rules? Why would I ever need to tell someone that their three-day bender isnt a real bender because it's too short? Fuck, I just want to hear the stories.

As far as the Irish bar debate, I would like to quote United States Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart as he described his threshold test for obscenity in Jacobellis v. Ohio. "I know it when I see it."
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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by Hugh »

If the bender is in bars, I can only last three days before I'm sick of it all. But i can drink day after day if I'm alone in my apartment. That's the thing. It ain't the booze that makes you sick, it's the goddamb lonely and toxic people that congregate in bars and ram their chit chat down your throat. But there's still enough good people in bars to make it worthwhile to go out. If I could just keep those poor lonely people from sidling up to me and confessing their pathetic souls. What is it about my ugly face that attracts these people? They destroy my benders.

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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by Dear Booze »

Hugh wrote:
Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:57 pm
If the bender is in bars, I can only last three days before I'm sick of it all. But i can drink day after day if I'm alone in my apartment. That's the thing. It ain't the booze that makes you sick, it's the goddamb lonely and toxic people that congregate in bars and ram their chit chat down your throat. But there's still enough good people in bars to make it worthwhile to go out. If I could just keep those poor lonely people from sidling up to me and confessing their pathetic souls. What is it about my ugly face that attracts these people? They destroy my benders.
I feel your pain. It's like that for me to. Every single fucking time. Every single fucking place. The wierd and talkative assholes walk in and say "THERE HE IS!" and then make a beeline to the stool next to me. Depending on my mood and level of inebriation, I will either egg them on and fuck with them, making up strange stories and having fun at their expense. Or, I will completely ignore them and pretend they are not there.
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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by oettinger »

Worst when they spit in your ear while laying out their dreadful story they call a life.
And then they have the audaciousness to ask for a cigarette!
Fuck em
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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by Hugh »

Started Thursday night and still going.

With all the bars being closed, I'm not tempted to go out and do/say stupid things. One of my neighborhood bars is indeed open right now (they have a food permit because they used to have pot lucks), but it's on reduced hours and with social distancing. They also limit you to a 1 1/2 hour stay. I'd feel too awkward in that situation.

I used to think that if you did anything on a day during your bender, you had to reset the counter to zero. Even if you went out to get something to eat, your bender ended and you have to start over. Even if you took a shower - BOOM! - bender over and you go back to the starting line. I'm no longer so rigid. Over the last few days I've showered, done laundry, even cleared a drain. And I still consider my 6 1/2 day bender is still intact. There's no need to be a bender nazi when writing your definition.

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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by RIPT2.0 »

If you define a bender as going to bed drunk every night, then I guess you could say my bender has lasted about ten years so far.

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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by Rye and Coke »

Hugh wrote:
Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:57 pm
Started Thursday night and still going.

With all the bars being closed, I'm not tempted to go out and do/say stupid things. One of my neighborhood bars is indeed open right now (they have a food permit because they used to have pot lucks), but it's on reduced hours and with social distancing. They also limit you to a 1 1/2 hour stay. I'd feel too awkward in that situation.

I used to think that if you did anything on a day during your bender, you had to reset the counter to zero. Even if you went out to get something to eat, your bender ended and you have to start over. Even if you took a shower - BOOM! - bender over and you go back to the starting line. I'm no longer so rigid. Over the last few days I've showered, done laundry, even cleared a drain. And I still consider my 6 1/2 day bender is still intact. There's no need to be a bender nazi when writing your definition.

While there are rules to keeping a bender gentlemanly, the reality is that it's as simple as this: Did you go to bed drunk, did you wake up and stay drunk?

That's it, that's all.
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I chose to see the glass twice the size it needed to be" - Pharoahe Monch, 'Broken Again'

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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by oettinger »

I`m on some bender and changing your underwear after seven days almost feels like a refreshing shower
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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by Badfellow »

oettinger wrote:
Fri Dec 31, 2021 2:13 pm
I`m on some bender and changing your underwear after seven days almost feels like a refreshing shower
That, sir, is nasty. Sprinkle some holy water and burn those things.
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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by Nausea »

That holy water is for the winos' eucharist. Put the dirty underwear back on like a man and quit bitching.
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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by Nausea »

I think that the essence of "bender" also necessarily involves a high degree of self-destructiveness.

You are drinking hard, not merely getting drunk.
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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by oettinger »

Good point Nausea. It clearly should be first thing after getting up is drink and keep pouring until you crash 14 hours later
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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by Badfellow »

What’s the appeal of self-destruction?
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Re: The Bender Defined (Commentary)

Post by oettinger »

Fun
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