undrunkenness Chips

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Dear Booze
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Re: undrunkenness Chips

Post by Dear Booze »

I used three chips today.

The first was at Frankie's Tiki Lounge. The bartender kind of knows me and got a kick out of it. More to this story on another thread.

The second was at the Velveteen Rabbit. The bartender was a hipster fuckhead who didn't know what the chip was. So I explained what it was and told him it's a rule that he take it. He believed me.

The third was used at a locals bar named Huntridge Tavern. Here's how it went down:

I walked up to the bar to order a round. There were three men sitting within six or seven feet from me. The bartender was a very nice girl who had a black eye. I didn't ask how she got the shiner because I'm sure the answer would have been "I ran into a door".

At any rate, I said "I've decided to end my undrunkenness here with you."

She had a puzzled look on her face.

I continued, "I'm going to trade my three month chip for a drink."

She said, "I don't want that responsibility. Really, I don't want to do it." But that didn't stop her from taking it from me and giving it a thorough examination.

I continued, "I'm done with my mandated classes and am ready for a drink." I looked at one of the guys at the bar and he was nodding his head in approval. One of the other guys was shaking his head in disapproval. The third guy had a look of disgrace on his face. I continued, "Don't worry, I'm not a bad drunk, I'm just a really bad drunk driver." All three men began nodding as if to say "yeah, we get it."

I got my drink and the bartender got my chip. Fair trade.
DRINK!

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Nausea
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Re: undrunkenness Chips

Post by Nausea »

So it works! Eureka.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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mistah willies
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Re: undrunkenness Chips

Post by mistah willies »

Dear Booze wrote:
Sun Jun 21, 2020 1:56 am
I used three chips today.

The first was at Frankie's Tiki Lounge. The bartender kind of knows me and got a kick out of it. More to this story on another thread.

The second was at the Velveteen Rabbit. The bartender was a hipster fuckhead who didn't know what the chip was. So I explained what it was and told him it's a rule that he take it. He believed me.

The third was used at a locals bar named Huntridge Tavern. Here's how it went down:

I walked up to the bar to order a round. There were three men sitting within six or seven feet from me. The bartender was a very nice girl who had a black eye. I didn't ask how she got the shiner because I'm sure the answer would have been "I ran into a door".

At any rate, I said "I've decided to end my undrunkenness here with you."

She had a puzzled look on her face.

I continued, "I'm going to trade my three month chip for a drink."

She said, "I don't want that responsibility. Really, I don't want to do it." But that didn't stop her from taking it from me and giving it a thorough examination.

I continued, "I'm done with my mandated classes and am ready for a drink." I looked at one of the guys at the bar and he was nodding his head in approval. One of the other guys was shaking his head in disapproval. The third guy had a look of disgrace on his face. I continued, "Don't worry, I'm not a bad drunk, I'm just a really bad drunk driver." All three men began nodding as if to say "yeah, we get it."

I got my drink and the bartender got my chip. Fair trade.
Sir, you have mastered the art of doing bad things very well. I raise the chalice here.

And, to paraphrase Rum&Coke:

Bacchus's work is being done here.

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TheDrunkardAnglo
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Re: undrunkenness Chips

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

That is bloody brilliant! You took them all on a journey. I'm not sure if they wanted to go on that journey, but I know for sure they all will be telling this story for years to come.
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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Badfellow
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Re: undrunkenness Chips

Post by Badfellow »

This concept is indeed both brilliant as well as diabolically limitless in it's entertainment value.

We were having a discussion before on skype; the 3 month chip seems to be the most plausible, this in regard to the bartender believing you just ditched the program like a dirty diaper out the car window.

And, of course, there are plenty of 3 month chips available on the non-darkweb for as little as $0.45 a piece.

Let us likewise consider there are two great sports to be had in "spending" undrunkenness chips.

The first is in spinning a good story to add depth and intrigue to the experience. It's something Dear Booze hit on immediately and for which he seems to have a natural born talent. Thinking up excuses why you quit AA is also a good exercise in creativity and mental acuity.

The second great sport is in pushing the value of the chip itself. It might be easy enough to trade one of these worthless tokens for a rail whiskey or a shot of Fireball. But can one get away with a top shelf Martini or a $14.00 Scorpion Bowl?

Such questions beg to be answered.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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TheDrunkardAnglo
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Re: undrunkenness Chips

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

Badfellow wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 11:31 am
The second great sport is in pushing the value of the chip itself. It might be easy enough to trade one of these worthless tokens for a rail whiskey or a shot of Fireball. But can one get away with a top shelf Martini or a $14.00 Scorpion Bowl?

Such questions beg to be answered.
"Well, Barkeep I cannot drink this fireball. You see, my drink. Before I was undrunk... well, it was a Lagavulin. And it was a double!"
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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Re: undrunkenness Chips

Post by scream ale »

^^^ Ha!
"Seriously? Barkeep, I didn't throw myself off the wagon for well whiskey. I was thinking something closer to 15 year old sinlge malt. And yes make it a double no ice."

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Re: undrunkenness Chips

Post by mistah willies »

TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 3:17 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 11:31 am
The second great sport is in pushing the value of the chip itself. It might be easy enough to trade one of these worthless tokens for a rail whiskey or a shot of Fireball. But can one get away with a top shelf Martini or a $14.00 Scorpion Bowl?

Such questions beg to be answered.
"Well, Barkeep I cannot drink this fireball. You see, my drink. Before I was undrunk... well, it was a Lagavulin. And it was a double!"
scream ale wrote:
Wed Jun 24, 2020 4:34 pm
^^^ Ha!
"Seriously? Barkeep, I didn't throw myself off the wagon for well whiskey. I was thinking something closer to 15 year old sinlge malt. And yes make it a double no ice."
Indeed, The Badfellow's idea of the enjoyment of the telling of the travails of the "journey" is the most enjoyable part of the deal. It's like this: the sad little plastic chip is the key to a story about its hard won and easily lost purchase. Some things cost more to those whom are poor. The key lets you in the door, but it's proper to sing for your drinkah.

Again well done, Dear Booze. As always.


.
Can we drink now? ---peetie44
At rock bottom, there is no down. ---The Oett
^ ^ ^ Yes his entire cutlery set and all utensils are made from assorted broken bottles.--- The Artful Detective
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I'll buy the first round if you promise to stop being a cunt. --- Dear Booze

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