how to start this bender?

[Steve]

Nice, relaxing beer sessions in the afternoon so you don't peak too early, then try all those drinks you've been tempted to try but never got around to at night. Repeat until your money has all gone.

[NYDingbat]

And how about the beverage that symbolizes celebration? Work some bubbly in there, my man, for you have shucked the yoke of Oppressive, Suffocating Like An Old Rich Relative At The Nursing Home Pillow Girlfriend - celebrate that shit!

There ya go - celebrate with a bit of that then steel your 'nads with manly bourbon and whatnot so you're too hammered to acquiesce when the "I'll change, I want you back, I just care about you and how unhealthy your drinking is - you can do whatever you want from now on." call comes.

[Savage]

Yeah, what that redhead girl said. Sparkling drinks are the best drinks. Throw some bourbon in ner.
Wait, that needs a name... Brutal Hillbilly?

[Savage]

Divine Deliverance?

[Resident Asshole]

And how about the beverage that symbolizes celebration? Work some bubbly in there, my man, for you have shucked the yoke of Oppressive, Suffocating Like An Old Rich Relative At The Nursing Home Pillow Girlfriend - celebrate that shit!

Hell yeah, I celebrated my day off yesterday with Mimosas.

[Insert A. Username]

You need to subvert that shit.

Consider the situation. If someone literally had your nuts in a vice, would you free yourself and then crawl back to the comfort of your lounge room? Fuck no! You'd get the vice and pound the back of their head until their brain oozed out of their nostrils.

So when someone does the same in a figurative sense, you don't try to rebuild yourself by retreating into an ever familiar bottle of bourbon. Fuck the cradle of masculinity! That's fucking defeatist. You get into their court, and you show them who's boss. You need to venture into the belly of the beast, and emerge with it's heart on a fucking plinth!

Head straight for the most generically modern bar you can find, stride triumphantly up to the bartender, slap down a wad of cash, and order 10 Fluffy Ducks. Don't stop there though. The beast is still kicking. Stab it a few more times by nailing a significant number of Cock-Sucking Cowboys. Dig the knife in deeper with a couple of Fruit Tingles. You are facing the girly demon, and going the full 12 rounds. Was she a fan of Sex in The City? Then you'll need to see that a few Cosmopolitans are roundly thrashed. The corpse is still twitching? Something with grenadine aught to do the trick, or perhaps an electric pink premix.

Once you feel you've vanquished the beast, you can return to beer and bourbon, safe in the knowledge that no-one will dare doubt the resolve of a man who can stare 10 Fluffy Ducks in the face and not even flinch.

[NYDingbat]

You need to subvert that shit.

Consider the situation. If someone literally had your nuts in a vice, would you free yourself and then crawl back to the comfort of your lounge room? Fuck no! You'd get the vice and pound the back of their head until their brain oozed out of their nostrils.

So when someone does the same in a figurative sense, you don't try to rebuild yourself by retreating into an ever familiar bottle of bourbon. Fuck the cradle of masculinity! That's fucking defeatist. You get into their court, and you show them who's boss. You need to venture into the belly of the beast, and emerge with it's heart on a fucking plinth!

Head straight for the most generically modern bar you can find, stride triumphantly up to the bartender, slap down a wad of cash, and order 10 Fluffy Ducks. Don't stop there though. The beast is still kicking. Stab it a few more times by nailing a significant number of Cock-Sucking Cowboys. Dig the knife in deeper with a couple of Fruit Tingles. You are facing the girly demon, and going the full 12 rounds. Was she a fan of Sex in The City? Then you'll need to see that a few Cosmopolitans are roundly thrashed. The corpse is still twitching? Something with grenadine aught to do the trick, or perhaps an electric pink premix.

Once you feel you've vanquished the beast, you can return to beer and bourbon, safe in the knowledge that no-one will dare doubt the resolve of a man who can stare 10 Fluffy Ducks in the face and not even flinch.

Okay. I'm gonna need to know just where your life sherpa has misled you that you know what Fluffy Ducks, Cock Sucking Cowboys and Fruit Tingles are. And don't tell me Disney World - I was just there two years ago and none of that girly hooch was there.

[Rooster]

Start with the first drink, and don't end the bender until you've had the last one.

You can't fail with that logic.

[Insert A. Username]

Okay. I'm gonna need to know just where your life sherpa has misled you that you know what Fluffy Ducks, Cock Sucking Cowboys and Fruit Tingles are. And don't tell me Disney World - I was just there two years ago and none of that girly hooch was there.

It's a cultural thing. If you are a poor student, and you are also young, male, a complete rake, and in the second gayest city in the world, you can do surprisingly well on the free drinks front. Provided, of course, you a) are prepared to consume a whatever girly rubbish is bought for you, b) good at excusing yourself from a social situation at precisely the right moment, and c) able to discern when your drink has been spiked with a miscellaneous benzo or GHB.

[Rooster]

Benders have no time for worrying about GHB... or any other pharmaceuticals for that matter.

[Insert A. Username]

Benders have no time for worrying about GHB... or any other pharmaceuticals for that matter.

Of course not. Hence the need to be able to identify it if you are planning to flirt, rather than pay, your way through one.

[Savage]

You need to subvert that shit.

Consider the situation. If someone literally had your nuts in a vice, would you free yourself and then crawl back to the comfort of your lounge room? Fuck no! You'd get the vice and pound the back of their head until their brain oozed out of their nostrils.

So when someone does the same in a figurative sense, you don't try to rebuild yourself by retreating into an ever familiar bottle of bourbon. Fuck the cradle of masculinity! That's fucking defeatist. You get into their court, and you show them who's boss. You need to venture into the belly of the beast, and emerge with it's heart on a fucking plinth!

Head straight for the most generically modern bar you can find, stride triumphantly up to the bartender, slap down a wad of cash, and order 10 Fluffy Ducks. Don't stop there though. The beast is still kicking. Stab it a few more times by nailing a significant number of Cock-Sucking Cowboys. Dig the knife in deeper with a couple of Fruit Tingles. You are facing the girly demon, and going the full 12 rounds. Was she a fan of Sex in The City? Then you'll need to see that a few Cosmopolitans are roundly thrashed. The corpse is still twitching? Something with grenadine aught to do the trick, or perhaps an electric pink premix.

Once you feel you've vanquished the beast, you can return to beer and bourbon, safe in the knowledge that no-one will dare doubt the resolve of a man who can stare 10 Fluffy Ducks in the face and not even flinch.

Okay. I'm gonna need to know just where your life sherpa has misled you that you know what Fluffy Ducks, Cock Sucking Cowboys and Fruit Tingles are. And don't tell me Disney World - I was just there two years ago and none of that girly hooch was there.

Yeah, I never heard of those drinks, but their names just reek of girly-whirl. Probably the yummy kind of thing I would drink one of, before the meal arrived and I commenced with the red beer or wine, followed by the drive home to consume mass quantities of bourbon. I don't think I could stand in a bar and choke down numerous ones of those. Seriously: Fluffy Duck?

and I won't even go there about the cock sucking cowboys.

[rc483]

someone gave me a bottle of jim beam black and i gotta say its not so great, wild turkey is much better but w/e. continuing this bender and have been on a steady diet of ignoring the ex

[fiyah]

Ride on, cowboy.. or sailor..

Just drink, and don't mention or think of her again..