So Gimme The Best Line You Delivered Whilst Stewed

[NYDingbat]

Was it during a fight, a tussle, a dustup or a fracas? Or was is whilst wooing? It may have been just messin' with somebody generally. We on this board are capable of being wordsmtihs of the first order, so I presume a long thread on this.

Bring your BS, Drunkards!

I suppose I should start to get this goin' - hmmmm...


XXXC$%^&*BYTBNHKFDTHIRSTYHT&!FRANK&REH#%$*
-Said by me at the Drunkard Con in Denver, 2008

[Shane-O-Matic]

"The boot's on the other shoe."
-Me arguing with a friend whilst blasted in Latvia, 2009

[Stingray]

Last Friday I thought I was pretty damn smooth when someone asked a pretty lady close to me her name, (who was married and her husband was sitting right next to her)

I jumped in and said: Her name, is beautiful!

she loved the attention but her husband not so much.

[Palinka (RIP)]

Kindly hold my glass and watch me do this... <breaks leg>

Or

(Whilst bleeding from a cut) Please hold my glass, I need to attend to this... <sutures own wound>

[Bur]

"I'll be off for a minute" followed by my bleeding face reappearing to the party around hour later, rather confused and bashed up. "went better than I would've thought."

Edit: Also to some douche trying to pick up a fight
"Go find somebody to kick your ass, I'm booked for the week" before getting back to drinking.

[hello gin]

My friend put a lit cigarette out on my forearm at the bar while I was talking to someone else and not looking. (didn't feel a thing) The bartender says to me a few minutes later...geez mate what's happened to your arm?? (there was a big white blister already formed) and I replied...boong sperm! (so I am told)

You might have to be Australian to get that

[Jiggers McCoy]

Not really a line but one time I was at a party on a friend's roof deck and a gentleman who had been overserved yelled some nonsense about being the only guy who knew anything, everyone else was fucking stupid, etc. Pretty typical drunken buffoonery but for some reason it caused the whole joint to go silent. Seizing the opportunity, I decided to try and start an honest-to-god slow clap and sure enough, people started joining me and after about 60 seconds we had the whole deck in raucous applause.

Never to be duplicated, I'm sure.

[Judge]

Kindly hold my glass and watch me do this... <breaks leg>

Or

(Whilst bleeding from a cut) Please hold my glass, I need to attend to this... <sutures own wound>

Ah... mawage

[fiyah]

"I'm bored. Wanna have a drinking contest?"

[Mr Boozificator]

I'm coming for you Ricky Bobby.

[Mr. Viking]

while rolling around in my communal stairwell, "I'm going to have All the booze, all of the time"

[Palinka (RIP)]

while rolling around in my communal stairwell, "I'm going to have All the booze, all of the time"

I hope that you gave steved2112 credit for the song, or he might come after you for royalties...

[Mr. Viking]

while rolling around in my communal stairwell, "I'm going to have All the booze, all of the time"

I hope that you gave steved2112 credit for the song, or he might come after you for royalties...

I did when I next met her. She thought it was wonderful

[Patchez]

When the wife tried to wake me up after passing out on the front porch bench during Hurricane Isabella a few years back, my reply was " I'll be fine right here. Just let me sleep it off."

[Lush City]

Was hungover at breakfast at a restaurant. I asked the waitress if she had any stewed prunes. She said yes. I said give them some coffee that will undrunk them up. No one was smiling. Thanks anyway to Groucho Marx.