"I'm a Social Drinker"

[Smatter Noguts]

A meet & greet networking social at the end of the week I went to this afternoon, so the organization has these little roundtables where some H.R. fuckwit who thinks they are being spontanious and clever sends a question around the table and probes the psyches of all us 'new friends' with questions about hobbies, likes and dislikes, and of course, do you drink?

I didn't have a NFL coaches' bullshit flag to throw on the field after this egregious feint, which went around the table with 2 no drinkers, and the 4 giving the old "I'm a social drinker, maybe a couple of beers/wine a night once or twice a week." Which is all fine for them.

Well, blow me, but I opted for full disclosure, and as I am a bit of a clown sometimes everybody had a good laugh. Even after I said I was dead fucking serious.

More or less:

" I get drunk every night until I pass out, and can not think of the last night I did not, except to say the only reason I didn't was because I was too hungover or had a social occasion that precluded the possiblity. On the weekends drinking starts at dawn with a Bloody Mary experiment and runs through the day trying to drink the shit I don't do weeknights, when I do about a gallon in a 5 day stretch. I drink alone or with friends or strangers, how 'bout we head down the street to the Elbow Room and have and have a couple right now? I'll get the first one."

As I said, nervous laughter, so I left and said "See you there."

About a half hour later on my round, 3 of the group wandered in seperately, each with a bigger reception and laughter.

Social drinkers my ass.

[NYDingbat]

Cheers, my man! You are your office's Pie Eyed Piper!!

[Lush City]

Social drinker: one who only drinks at social occasions. LOL! Dinner every night is a social occasion and you are all invited. What, you can't make it? Oh, that's too bad but the door is still open. I'm a social drinker...

[oettinger]

Now that was funny. I raise this cheap beer in your honor Smatter!
To monday morning anti-social drinking.
Cheers

[Patchez]

Honesty is always the best policy. Good for you Smatter. Screw those dry HR shits. Always trying to build a case aginst everyone in case that someone become a "troublemaker" by pointing out obvious bullshit.

Twats.

[Miklo]

Sadly society has branded the heavy drinker as a anti-social, unreliable, un-cleanly sort who would never be capable of holding down a decent job let alone make any type of noteworthy contributions to said society. So in all fairness, most do not boast of their conquests, and generally speaking I am one of those. I equally match you on my weekday stints, and regularly imbibe throughout the work day. I cannot imagine telling my boss that that I have a couple shots of vodka in my water bottle right now, do you want a sip? No, as "modern drunkards", and if we desire to "fit in" we must be covert. Which is why your three table buddies showed up at the bar, they are not going to incriminate themselves in front of the ladies that process pink slips.

[Resident Asshole]

Yeah, working for the government I run into things like that a lot, it's quite annoying. Most recent one was when my bosses' boss schedule a big meeting on Paddy's Day. I was originally only going to take part of the day off, but after scheduling a meeting I took the whole day off. Must have priorities.