The Drunken Skype Thread

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TheDrunkardAnglo
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 9:00 am
TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 4:20 am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpAkEnpRHC8

Anyway, what's been happening? Has Oettinger shat himself... again?
Nope no recent shart incidents. Where the hell have you been?!
This is going to sound really, really stupid. I told my doctor I wasn't a drinker or a smoker. The results of the blood tests I had the day after a session was quite alarming for them. Instead of confessing, I decided to go without Bachus's warm elixir (and tobacco) until the next set of blood tests to prove that I don't drink or smoke.

It was hell. Did I convince them? I'm not sure. The doctor asked if I had drank the night before the test. I said "I had five beers. There was a Zoom party", he replied, "Thats not a lot". "No, I don't really drink". "Ok, we'll do the tests again".

I happily broke my undrunken fast today with some Penny Blue XO RUM. It was delicious. Those Mauritians do make some fine stuff. If I had remained S*ber by saturday it would have been a whole month! A month! This is probably why Lenin killed his doctors!
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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Dear Booze
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by Dear Booze »

TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 3:22 pm
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 9:00 am
TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 4:20 am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpAkEnpRHC8

Anyway, what's been happening? Has Oettinger shat himself... again?
Nope no recent shart incidents. Where the hell have you been?!
This is going to sound really, really stupid. I told my doctor I wasn't a drinker or a smoker. The results of the blood tests I had the day after a session was quite alarming for them. Instead of confessing, I decided to go without Bachus's warm elixir (and tobacco) until the next set of blood tests to prove that I don't drink or smoke.

It was hell. Did I convince them? I'm not sure. The doctor asked if I had drank the night before the test. I said "I had five beers. There was a Zoom party", he replied, "Thats not a lot". "No, I don't really drink". "Ok, we'll do the tests again".

I happily broke my undrunken fast today with some Penny Blue XO RUM. It was delicious. Those Mauritians do make some fine stuff. If I had remained S*ber by saturday it would have been a whole month! A month! This is probably why Lenin killed his doctors!
I was hoping your absence was the result of something else. Like death. Preferably caused by ass cancer.
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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Patchez
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by Patchez »

Lush City wrote:
Sun Apr 11, 2021 9:36 pm
Dear Booze wrote:
Sat Apr 10, 2021 2:12 pm
During a call yesterday, we all decided it would be a great idea to have drunk Oett as an American football commentator. It would be a truly brilliant move.

"Hmph. Uh. Hmph. Here's something funny. Hmph. Uh, what if the Center farted in the Quarterback's face?"

"Shut the fuck up.

"Fuck you, Fuck you. Fuck you!"

And he would also keep interrupting the color commentator, just to change the subject. "Hmph. Uh. Humph. If the players were professional wrestlers, who would they be? That receiver would be Rowdy Roddy Piper.. "
It's against FCC regulations to broadcast while drunk and/or drinking. So this would never work and he would only be flooded with hate mail.
Yeah because Cosell and Summerall were undrunk as church mice when they were in the booth.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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TheDrunkardAnglo
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

Dear Booze wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 5:49 pm
TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 3:22 pm
Artful Drunktective wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 9:00 am


Nope no recent shart incidents. Where the hell have you been?!
This is going to sound really, really stupid. I told my doctor I wasn't a drinker or a smoker. The results of the blood tests I had the day after a session was quite alarming for them. Instead of confessing, I decided to go without Bachus's warm elixir (and tobacco) until the next set of blood tests to prove that I don't drink or smoke.

It was hell. Did I convince them? I'm not sure. The doctor asked if I had drank the night before the test. I said "I had five beers. There was a Zoom party", he replied, "Thats not a lot". "No, I don't really drink". "Ok, we'll do the tests again".

I happily broke my undrunken fast today with some Penny Blue XO RUM. It was delicious. Those Mauritians do make some fine stuff. If I had remained S*ber by saturday it would have been a whole month! A month! This is probably why Lenin killed his doctors!
I was hoping your absence was the result of something else. Like death. Preferably caused by ass cancer.
I also had arse cancer, but, I got better!
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by Dear Booze »

TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Tue Apr 13, 2021 2:52 pm
Dear Booze wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 5:49 pm
TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 3:22 pm


This is going to sound really, really stupid. I told my doctor I wasn't a drinker or a smoker. The results of the blood tests I had the day after a session was quite alarming for them. Instead of confessing, I decided to go without Bachus's warm elixir (and tobacco) until the next set of blood tests to prove that I don't drink or smoke.

It was hell. Did I convince them? I'm not sure. The doctor asked if I had drank the night before the test. I said "I had five beers. There was a Zoom party", he replied, "Thats not a lot". "No, I don't really drink". "Ok, we'll do the tests again".

I happily broke my undrunken fast today with some Penny Blue XO RUM. It was delicious. Those Mauritians do make some fine stuff. If I had remained S*ber by saturday it would have been a whole month! A month! This is probably why Lenin killed his doctors!
I was hoping your absence was the result of something else. Like death. Preferably caused by ass cancer.
I also had arse cancer, but, I got better!
So, are you immune now, or can you get it again?
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a drunk man tortilla chips, Velveeta and a hair dryer and he has nachos.

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TheDrunkardAnglo
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

Dear Booze wrote:
Tue Apr 13, 2021 8:05 pm
TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Tue Apr 13, 2021 2:52 pm
Dear Booze wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 5:49 pm


I was hoping your absence was the result of something else. Like death. Preferably caused by ass cancer.
I also had arse cancer, but, I got better!
So, are you immune now, or can you get it again?
I can get this again, but I'm now immune from anal fissures. What a time to be alive!
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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benitobeast69
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by benitobeast69 »

good to have you back brother....those damn yankies were getting too big for their boots again while you were gone.

and yeah fucking hell isn't it...when i had to go 3 weeks last year i just couldn't imagine how boring my life would be if it had to continue.
Hangover cure: Rigorous sex, hydration, hot bath, then "go up for half an hour in an open aeroplane. (needless to say, with a non-hungover person at the controls)." - Kinglsey Amis

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oettinger
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by oettinger »

TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Mon Apr 12, 2021 3:22 pm


This is going to sound really, really stupid. I told my doctor I wasn't a drinker or a smoker.
I`ll tell my doctor that I smoke crack and shoot up herion on a daily basis.

He`ll be having good results for me (I hope)
Shut up Oettingerr
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TheDrunkardAnglo
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

benitobeast69 wrote:
Sat Apr 17, 2021 9:19 am
good to have you back brother....those damn yankies were getting too big for their boots again while you were gone.

and yeah fucking hell isn't it...when i had to go 3 weeks last year i just couldn't imagine how boring my life would be if it had to continue.
Shit! I bet it was like Normandy landings all over again. Oettinger was just surrounded going "Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyy aaaaaaaaaaaaaare they all here! FUCK YOU! Thats GAAAYYYYYYYY!"
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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Lush City
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by Lush City »

TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 4:01 am
benitobeast69 wrote:
Sat Apr 17, 2021 9:19 am
good to have you back brother....those damn yankies were getting too big for their boots again while you were gone.

and yeah fucking hell isn't it...when i had to go 3 weeks last year i just couldn't imagine how boring my life would be if it had to continue.
Shit! I bet it was like Normandy landings all over again. Oettinger was just surrounded going "Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyy aaaaaaaaaaaaaare they all here! FUCK YOU! Thats GAAAYYYYYYYY!"
I heard the Boris Johnson haircut and look is all in vogue.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
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Hugh
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by Hugh »

i have to ber at work in 7 hours. the kessler is gone but i have some other whiskey. i have a lot more beer I'm a rich motyherfucker. i don't jhave to rob anybody anymore

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TheDrunkardAnglo
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

Lush City wrote:
Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:48 pm
TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 4:01 am
benitobeast69 wrote:
Sat Apr 17, 2021 9:19 am
good to have you back brother....those damn yankies were getting too big for their boots again while you were gone.

and yeah fucking hell isn't it...when i had to go 3 weeks last year i just couldn't imagine how boring my life would be if it had to continue.
Shit! I bet it was like Normandy landings all over again. Oettinger was just surrounded going "Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyy aaaaaaaaaaaaaare they all here! FUCK YOU! Thats GAAAYYYYYYYY!"
I heard the Boris Johnson haircut and look is all in vogue.
I regret to inform you Lush, i've had a haircut. They've butchered me. I now look like a butch lesbian!
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

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brandonman
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by brandonman »

Hi all. I wanted to pop in and inform you all that I haven't been on my old skype account in ages. I ended up losing access (after Microsoft took over, forgetting your password to an old skype account made before that became a death sentence to the account).

I have another one.

But, this leads to my question. I noticed that the esteemed Mistah Willies hasn't posted here since February, and I haven't heard from him on the new skype account i had him on since November.

Does anybody know if he's doing alright?

Anyways, you brain dead bastards who used to have my account name: Just search that name, and you should find another one where the profile picture is a ryan gosling meme.
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" -Tom Waits

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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by oettinger »

brandonman wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 10:49 pm


But, this leads to my question. I noticed that the esteemed Mistah Willies hasn't posted here since February, and I haven't heard from him on the new skype account i had him on since November.

Does anybody know if he's doing alright?
He`s alright
Shut up Oettingerr
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Patchez
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Re: The Drunken Skype Thread

Post by Patchez »

TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Sun May 02, 2021 12:41 pm
Lush City wrote:
Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:48 pm
TheDrunkardAnglo wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 4:01 am


Shit! I bet it was like Normandy landings all over again. Oettinger was just surrounded going "Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyy aaaaaaaaaaaaaare they all here! FUCK YOU! Thats GAAAYYYYYYYY!"
I heard the Boris Johnson haircut and look is all in vogue.
I regret to inform you Lush, i've had a haircut. They've butchered me. I now look like a butch lesbian!
You will never, ever look butch.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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