He’s coming out of it, said Debbie! How did you do that Ms Bertha?
Some mens need a mission, Debbie. That’s all they need. I played a hunch is all, it came out good.
Golly.
It doesn’t always work out so good. I’ve been around Thompson so I can sometimes get to what’s really wrong. And fix it.
Dang!
Let’s leave him alone now, said Bertha. You have to give mens a lot of space.
Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Moderators: Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Okay, class, listen up. What does this lyric mean — ‘Is you or is you ain’t my baby?’
Mark, go ahead, what do you think?
Well, it doesn’t sound good from the back seat of this Rambler, I got a pillow all set up and she ain’t gonna be my baby.
Sarah, what do you think?
I resent being called a baby. All my life I’ve been called a baby. Well I’m Fucking Sick of It.
Debbie?
From a mathematical perspective it can only be scenario number 2, ‘You Ain’t my Baby.’ If you was my baby then there would be no reason for the song.
Mark, go ahead, what do you think?
Well, it doesn’t sound good from the back seat of this Rambler, I got a pillow all set up and she ain’t gonna be my baby.
Sarah, what do you think?
I resent being called a baby. All my life I’ve been called a baby. Well I’m Fucking Sick of It.
Debbie?
From a mathematical perspective it can only be scenario number 2, ‘You Ain’t my Baby.’ If you was my baby then there would be no reason for the song.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Gary, do you have something to add?
Yes sir, Mr Thompson. I agree with what’s been said and I would like to share my plight when I was a lad. Like Sarah, I was belittled and bullied. ‘There goes Gary the momma’s boy. Gary’s a momma’s boy. Look at Gary! What a momma’s boy! Look! He peed his pants!’
Pretty soon I got wise, though, said Gary. I said, ‘yeah well at least my ma is human. You can’t tell me for a second your ma is human. Look at the size of that wart on her face. You should take a picture and enter your ma in the big wart contest in Baton Rouge. And Christ! Where does she get her hair done? The zoo?’
So, my response to ‘is you or is you ain’t my baby?’ Is ‘Maybe I is, and Maybe I ain’t.’
Yes sir, Mr Thompson. I agree with what’s been said and I would like to share my plight when I was a lad. Like Sarah, I was belittled and bullied. ‘There goes Gary the momma’s boy. Gary’s a momma’s boy. Look at Gary! What a momma’s boy! Look! He peed his pants!’
Pretty soon I got wise, though, said Gary. I said, ‘yeah well at least my ma is human. You can’t tell me for a second your ma is human. Look at the size of that wart on her face. You should take a picture and enter your ma in the big wart contest in Baton Rouge. And Christ! Where does she get her hair done? The zoo?’
So, my response to ‘is you or is you ain’t my baby?’ Is ‘Maybe I is, and Maybe I ain’t.’
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Those are all insightful comments, said Thompson. This is one of the principles of How to Make It 101 — we will learn to think for our selves. Now, we also have to learn to fight. This might seem daunting but believe me it’s not. All a street fighter has to do is Want to get socked in the eye. He Gets off on it. This attitude completely confuses his opponent. Then, we can trip the opponent to the ground and kick him hard several times in the head with our steel toed cowboy boots (genuine 100% eel skin).
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Hi Thompson. Are you making okay, said Debbie?
Yes, I’m making okay.
Is there anything I can get you?
No I don’t think so.
Are you depressed?
Yes.
How about some whiskey? Some Canadian Mist?
That sounds good. Will you join me in a snort of whiskey?
Yes, why not? I have to go to the bathroom first.
Yes, I’m making okay.
Is there anything I can get you?
No I don’t think so.
Are you depressed?
Yes.
How about some whiskey? Some Canadian Mist?
That sounds good. Will you join me in a snort of whiskey?
Yes, why not? I have to go to the bathroom first.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Do you get depressed often Thompson, said Debbie?
Oh yes, all the time. All the time I get depressed, said Thompson.
Have you tried acupuncture?
No.
What about standing on your head. I’ve heard good things about that technique.
Right! How in fuck am i going to stand on my head when I can’t even stand up on my feet. How am I going to do that, Debbie. Tell me how I’m supposed to do that, Debbie.
Oh yes, all the time. All the time I get depressed, said Thompson.
Have you tried acupuncture?
No.
What about standing on your head. I’ve heard good things about that technique.
Right! How in fuck am i going to stand on my head when I can’t even stand up on my feet. How am I going to do that, Debbie. Tell me how I’m supposed to do that, Debbie.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
####### This is an aside. A comment from the poster:
To me this is big, or at least the start of something big. And this has never happened. I’m sitting here charging the phone and feeling ashamed at the way I snapped at Debbie. She’s only been nice with a touch of mother and getting better at her numbers every day.
This is a real emotion I have, this feeling ashamed at hurting a poor girl’s feelings.
So the break through is Debbie. I made her up but she took off on her own. She became real.
To me this is big, or at least the start of something big. And this has never happened. I’m sitting here charging the phone and feeling ashamed at the way I snapped at Debbie. She’s only been nice with a touch of mother and getting better at her numbers every day.
This is a real emotion I have, this feeling ashamed at hurting a poor girl’s feelings.
So the break through is Debbie. I made her up but she took off on her own. She became real.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Look Debbie, I want to apolog . . .
You stay away from me, Thompson! Stay away!
Okay. You are not going to drop the course are you?
I don’t know. I’m wondering now if the course is as big a phony as you are!
No, the course is solid. You think it’s easy just to walk out there and Make It? I’m sorry, you need tools, experience, fighting moves, a thousand different fucking things, a and some boxing trunks.
You stay away from me, Thompson! Stay away!
Okay. You are not going to drop the course are you?
I don’t know. I’m wondering now if the course is as big a phony as you are!
No, the course is solid. You think it’s easy just to walk out there and Make It? I’m sorry, you need tools, experience, fighting moves, a thousand different fucking things, a and some boxing trunks.
Last edited by Thompson on Fri Sep 20, 2024 4:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
The other thing is you can’t sign up for How to Make It 102 unless you pass How to Make it 101. And I won’t pass you if you continue with this snarly attitude and sass.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
I wouldn’t mind a Maid Rite, how ‘bout you?
Right. Let’s get a malted to go with.
What flavor you get?
Root Beer.
What about you?
Dark Cherry.
Onion rings?
No. French fried potatoes with ketchup and a cheese bread.
Cheese bread? I never heard of a cheese bread.
It’s like a cheese board except it’s on a bread.
It smells good.
Who is in charge of the oven by the way? And the stove top, who is in charge of the stove top?
Debbie was supposed to be in charge. Looks like she fell down on the job.
Oh no! There she is over there on the floor!
Right. Let’s get a malted to go with.
What flavor you get?
Root Beer.
What about you?
Dark Cherry.
Onion rings?
No. French fried potatoes with ketchup and a cheese bread.
Cheese bread? I never heard of a cheese bread.
It’s like a cheese board except it’s on a bread.
It smells good.
Who is in charge of the oven by the way? And the stove top, who is in charge of the stove top?
Debbie was supposed to be in charge. Looks like she fell down on the job.
Oh no! There she is over there on the floor!
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Her clothes are still on, right? She hasn’t been raped?
No.
Good.
Did she say anything before she passed out on the floor?
No.
Did you smell her breath?
Yes.
Well?
Well what?
How did it smell?
Like a yawn sorta.
No.
Good.
Did she say anything before she passed out on the floor?
No.
Did you smell her breath?
Yes.
Well?
Well what?
How did it smell?
Like a yawn sorta.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Should I contact her mother?
No, not a good idea.
Her father?
Impossible.
Her music teacher then.
Yes. Good thinking.
No, not a good idea.
Her father?
Impossible.
Her music teacher then.
Yes. Good thinking.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Well, what now?
I contacted her music teacher.
And?
He didn’t say anything. I repeated the story and he just sat there and didn’t say anything. ‘Hello in there, I said. Can you hear me?’
That got some kind of mumble. I don’t see how this guy can teach music.
How is Debbie now?
Better. She sat up and did a good puke in the puke bucket.
She’ll be all right then.
I contacted her music teacher.
And?
He didn’t say anything. I repeated the story and he just sat there and didn’t say anything. ‘Hello in there, I said. Can you hear me?’
That got some kind of mumble. I don’t see how this guy can teach music.
How is Debbie now?
Better. She sat up and did a good puke in the puke bucket.
She’ll be all right then.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
Debbie, can you hear me, said Thompson?
Yes.
You passed out and fell to the floor. You weren’t raped though, your new conservative clothes were all wrinkle free and your hair wasn’t too mussed up.
That’s good.
How many Canadian Mists did you drink, Debbie? Have you drank whiskey before?
I remember thinking to myself, ‘Boy that Thompson has the right idea with these shots of the hard.’ ‘Right to the blood stream.’ ‘Let’s do another shot.’ And then I guess I passed out. No, I never drank whiskey before.
Yes.
You passed out and fell to the floor. You weren’t raped though, your new conservative clothes were all wrinkle free and your hair wasn’t too mussed up.
That’s good.
How many Canadian Mists did you drink, Debbie? Have you drank whiskey before?
I remember thinking to myself, ‘Boy that Thompson has the right idea with these shots of the hard.’ ‘Right to the blood stream.’ ‘Let’s do another shot.’ And then I guess I passed out. No, I never drank whiskey before.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray
Re: Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health
I want to drink whiskey again, said Debbie.
Oh brother, thought Thompson.
In fact I would like to drink some whiskey right now, said Debbie.
We might have to go buy some.
Well, let’s go buy some then. Jesus.
Wanna go with that Mist again?
Not really. Let’s try one of those ‘old’ whiskeys, Old Forester, one of them.
Oh brother, thought Thompson.
In fact I would like to drink some whiskey right now, said Debbie.
We might have to go buy some.
Well, let’s go buy some then. Jesus.
Wanna go with that Mist again?
Not really. Let’s try one of those ‘old’ whiskeys, Old Forester, one of them.
‘Talk is cheap, whiskey costs money.’ — Harry Caray